Rant & Rave Thread

Mega Rant: Damnit chater start catering for us drunken stupid aussies on the drunk thread. We start a good half day at the worst 2 days at our best before you gys when we start getting smashed. Yes I'm ratshit now and I want something good to write in and abuse people with.

 

RAVE: Manny's Steakhouse Lunch Menu. Just dynamite. I just ate there for $25 total and it was one of the best meals I've had in a while. I guess it does help that my friend knows everyone there; they brought out a plate of bacon that at first I asked if they were ribs. The bacon was an inch thick, at least.

I'm going to go into a food coma, only to be waken up by the harsh reality of a husky growler trying to escape its cage.

 

RANT: I have a motherfucking cocksucking stye on my goddamn fucking eye.

 

Rant: Windiest (is that a word?) spring in a LONG time.

Rave: Mexican food for lunch.

 

RANT? RAVE? So this crap with massage envy is getting out of hand. I have tried everything I can to get someone to help me. This includes me sitting on the phone for multiple hours, switching between calling their corporate line, and the local store.

So I had what I wanted, 4 1hr messages. I tried to schedule them with another clinic. The other clinic bitches about it, the manager takes the deal off the table. So I call the clinic that ruined my deal, just to let them know how appreciative I am of their cuntiness. Straight to voicemail, I leave an awesome voice mail telling them that because of that douchebaggery I will be down there on my lunch break to personally berate them.

Cue to me being at work, a fucking police officer calls me, very kindly asks me to never go back to there or else I will be arrested. Uh seriously?

You want to play that card. I just wanted a fucking massage. Now I want your job, you bitch.

I know no one likes hearing that, but seriously I've tried to be nice about this. Now you get me, vicious, and ready to tear someone's head off.

Seriously, fuck today.

 

Rant: Why are people so dog-retarded?

Before I even get into the dog park, I hear whispers behind me and turn around to two very petrified-looking people with a tiny dog. "Uh, do you think your dog is going to try to...eat our dog?" Said in all earnestness as my puppy is wagging his tail with his tongue hanging out. Yes, he's a vicious beast.

Then when I get into the park, being a 9-month old puppy he starts to play with the 4-month old German Shepherd. The owner of the Shepherd begins to lecture me on how my dog is clearly an 'alpha' and is going to one day kill another dog.

I told her she didn't have any idea what she was talking about and that he has been in training since he was 10 weeks old, and his trainer thinks he plays just fine. That shut her up, but it's still annoying that this seems to happen nearly every time I go to the dog park. Just because he is a thickset black dog, everyone thinks he's going to go for the jugular the minute I turn my back.

Stupid dog prejudice.

 

RANT: Quit smoking today after 15 years, pack-a-day habbit. It is way worse than I thought it would be.

 

Rave: Beautiful day today, was able to wear shorts for the first time.

Rave: Only three more days till the baseball season starts. Yankees-Red Sox, fuck yeah.

 

Rave: All is as it should be.

 

Rant: Probably going to have to work all weekend. I work at a sporting goods store where the bulk of our business is embroidery and screen printing. In any given week we usually have 1-200 items to take care of, maybe 3-400 in a super busy week. This week? 1900. 650 hats and shirts for one little league, and 600 hats for another. Fuck me. Oh, and I basically run the embroidery machines by myself. This is gonna be awful.

Rave: Beer and MW2 tonight in spite of the shitty weekend that is ahead of me.

Rant: Girls still suck. And not in the good way. F word.

 

Rave: Finally found a real job related to my major so I can finally use my B.S..
Rant: Nobody in this town cares enough to celebrate with me.
Rave: drunk anyway.

 

Rave: Today, while having an "I feel like shit" day, a random guy stopped me in the mall today to tell me I am extremely gorgeous and to ask if I had a boyfriend.

 

Rant: I think I really hate 50% of the people I'm friends with on Facebook. I have so many people's updates blocked its ridiculous.

Rant: Aprils Fools Day pranks have for the most part are a waste of time. Especially when your big "prank" is to convince people you're moving, lost your job, have someone sick in your family via a social networking site. Stupid.

Rave: The weekend weather is supposed to be gorgeous.

Rave: New tires for the Jeep. 33 x 11.5 Goodyear Wrangler MT/R(s) Fuckers look fantastic.

 

Rant: Can't see a doctor all weekend. Why? Because some imaginary prick died on this day (probably not due to calendar changes) fuck knows how many years ago. I'm not fucking religious. I don't want today off anyway. I normally have Fridays off, and now my day off is fucked because of a fucking Jewish carpenter who died. FUCK.

 

RANT: Who breaks up with somone 3 days before their birthday......Well fuck you, it's your loss. Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice...not gonna happen.

 

The next one is to your head, Dan.

Spoiler

Do not doubt me.

 

Rave: Last day at my current job. Wiped my hard drive for none work related info. Turned in all of my additional hardware. Turned in my transition documents. Backed up all of my files in subversion. Everything is done with the exception of taking a nice long lunch and turning in my badge. Tonight is going to be a blast and we rented a room down here in downtown Murderapolis so no one would have to drive.

New job starts Monday and I already got a check for an additional $2000 for PTO cash out. My computer parts come today and Monday. This is going to be a GREAT weekend.

EDIT: Misanthropic was right on his rep, drunk, generous James will be coming out tonight buying shots.

 

Motherfucking rave of all raves: I just interviewed Evander fucking Holyfield today! This was the guy that I remember watching a lot of his fights in the mid 90s when I wasn't even seven or eight years old. He was the dude I always rooted for and he always provided fun fights. Warred it out with Qawi, Bowe, Moorer, Tyson, always gives 100% which is more than can be said of today's current crop of fat American heavyweights.

Tiny rant: I neglected to tell Evander that he was impossible to beat in Evander Holyfield's Real Deal Boxing for Sega Genesis. I also didn't tell him I named my pipe Evander Bowlyfield. Missed opportunity.