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The 2nd Annual Christmas & New Years Drunk Thread 2010! NSFW

Discussion in 'Weekly Drunk Threads' started by Blue Dog, Dec 1, 2010.

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  1. Fernanthonies

    Fernanthonies
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    Well shit, I can't find my Super Troopers DVD. I'm drinking and I need something funny to keep me entertained.
     
    #4861 Fernanthonies, Jan 8, 2011
  2. Dcc001

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    It's just too bad it couldn't have ended at the scene.

    When was it...2008? Some guy on a Greyhound bus went nuts halfway between Saskatoon and Winnipeg in the middle of the night. He, too, was suffering from a mental disorder (I believe he was schizophrenic) and when he separated from reality at midnight or so it caused him to attack a sleeping 22-year-old guy, cut his head off and eat parts of his organs while the other horrified passengers first evacuated the bus then watched from the side of the road. The police showed up and after a period of time (during which the crazy dude was eating parts of the kid's body), he was subdued and taken to jail, later to be found not criminally responsible due to insanity.

    In both circumstances, an officer should have simply ended his life at the scene. Now there's gonna be a drawn-out legal battle and his lawyers will have a field day about what a victim the shooter is. Could have been easily solved.
     
    #4862 Dcc001, Jan 8, 2011
  3. CharlesJohnson

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    There are perks to living in Palm Beach County. Such as being able to hit the beach on a January day when it's 73 out. Perfect breeze, bright sun. Then there's the scenery. The ocean could not have been a richer blue; truly blue, not green with patches of brown because we dump sewage in it, but a gorgeous aquamarine for the tourists. Ah tourists, plenty of young gals in tiny bikinis, oiled up and sunning themselves, splashing water on each other like it's some ridiculous male fantasy. They actually do that too.

    And then the 70 year old, squat, gray haired woman, weighing in at around 220 lbs walking down the shoreline in a bright blue bikini. Her gait making those pendulous breasts with an areola the size of a saucer plate poke out from behind a precariously placed swath of insufficient, cheap cloth. Her bosoms swayed over a gut concaved in the middle horizontally, as if it collapsed under it's gravity and formed another stomach; like 2 bronzed hams. As she walked by I couldn't help but turn around to see her ass swallowing her bottoms. I don't know if it was originally a thong, but it was now.

    I hope you all have a wonderful dinner hour.
     
    #4863 CharlesJohnson, Jan 8, 2011
  4. Fernanthonies

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    Couldn't agree with you more.
     
    #4864 Fernanthonies, Jan 8, 2011
  5. ghettoastronaut

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    Well, was that Olympic-style shooting with just one hand? I imagine most cops typically do two-handed shooting. And one-handed pistol shooting is a bitch.
     
    #4865 ghettoastronaut, Jan 8, 2011
  6. Nettdata

    Nettdata
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    It was any way you wanted to shoot. Just hit the target.
     
    #4866 Nettdata, Jan 8, 2011
  7. ghettoastronaut

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    Well in that case, please don't let me come across as though I'm defending cops.

    Last time I was at the shooting range we had a cop come in and use his service pistol. So while the rest of us are shooting .22 pistols and rifles, he was shooting what must have been at least a .38. "plink... plink... plink... BOOM..." He'd try and time his shots to screw people up. Funny.
     
    #4867 ghettoastronaut, Jan 8, 2011
  8. Arctic_Scrap

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    Wow, what a run by Lynch. So happy to see the Saints get beat.

    Also, with people talking about what they would do in a shooting. I was involved in one this past summer, I posted about it once before. Me and a friend got into a small argument in a bar with 2 guys. We left and started walking home. The 2 guys got in their car and confronted us about 100yds down the road. The passenger got out and took a swing at me and I just threw him on the ground. At the same time my friend was shot by the driver[still in the car]right above his package, since he was standing parallel with the car the bullet then went into his leg and shattered his femur bone. The guy that swung at me ran back and got in the car and they took off. It took 2-3 seconds to figure out what happened, I took a few steps down into the ditch but I wasn't just gonna run and leave my friend there and I wanted to get the license plate off the car. The guys got caught on the other side of town since I was able to give a good description of car and the license plate. It was a 9mm so it wasn't particularly loud and at first I thought it was a firework or something. Hmm, thread idea...when have you been in serious imminent danger and what did you do?
     
    #4868 Arctic_Scrap, Jan 8, 2011
  9. JGold

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    I'd love to be in a room with Chater right now.
     
    #4869 JGold, Jan 8, 2011
  10. Dcc001

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    That was one of the most remarkable touchdowns I've ever seen in the NFL. The quarterback was running blocking, for Christssake.
     
    #4870 Dcc001, Jan 8, 2011
  11. whatisinaname

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    Hoping to be even a fraction of the man Jim is.

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    No offence to N.O. or Mr. BD, but I am so sick of hearing the "feel good" story about the Saints. I so hope they lose and we can drop this pitty-party that's been going on for years now.
     
    #4871 whatisinaname, Jan 8, 2011
  12. Gravitas

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    Whatisinaname doesn't care about black people.

    Edit: I can't believe I fucked up that iconic quote the first time.
     
    #4872 Gravitas, Jan 8, 2011
  13. Blue Dog

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    The wife is napping- I'm drinking. Heavily. Grr.
     

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    #4873 Blue Dog, Jan 8, 2011
  14. Beefy Phil

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    [​IMG]
     
    #4874 Beefy Phil, Jan 8, 2011
  15. JGold

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    Now if Peyton punks Rex Ryan (again), today will have been a perfect day of NFL football.

    EDIT: For the record, yes, I was rooting against the Saints because I'm a jealous and vindictive Panthers fan. Fuck the Falcons, too.
     
    #4875 JGold, Jan 8, 2011
  16. Beefy Phil

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    It's on, you backwoods ginger network systems analyst.
     
    #4876 Beefy Phil, Jan 8, 2011
  17. Beefy Phil

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    It sounded like a thing.
     
    #4877 Beefy Phil, Jan 8, 2011
  18. JGold

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    I just threw up a little bit in my mouth. Then again, I'm drinking Miller Lite, so General Tsao's Chicken and Wild Turkey sounds delicious by comparison.
     
    #4878 JGold, Jan 8, 2011
  19. Beefy Phil

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    Also, for that to be 100% accurate, he'd have to close each press conference with something like:

    "An', uh, in cuh-cloo-jun, I jus' wanna say, Pey-uhn and them, yuhz are a buncha fuckin' faggots, and we're gonna fuck yuh filthy bitch muthaz cuz yuhz got no class."
     
    #4879 Beefy Phil, Jan 8, 2011
  20. Jimmy James

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    SEA!

    HAWKS!

    Beast mode baby.
     
    #4880 Jimmy James, Jan 8, 2011
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