Rant: Best way to start a fucking Monday: With a sinus infection AND bronchitis. Stupid respiratory system.
Rant: I've never ranted before, but this woman just approached me to buy some of my stuff and when I gave her the total damned if that piece of shit creature didn't hike up her foot, reach into her boot; no, unzip her boot and reach into her sock underneath her foot and pull out her.........well,that's when I did this. I sent her away. "Ma'am, that is disgusting! You need to go." Looking at me like I'm the crazy person. "I mean it! No purchase for you! Just be on your way!" I need to find a new way to make money. Edit (I have and will accept money pulled off a tit), but underneath a foot? A fucking foot?
Sorry for two posts in a day, but... Rave (I guess): My aforementioned car problems have been solved--or at least figured out. My girlfriend's uncle runs the parts dept. at a Mazda dealership and said that this shit happens all the time with my car (an '03 Mazda 6S). The rubber seal on the coils fails and cracks, allowing water to penetrate in times of heavy rain (which, if you live in New England, heavy rain was fucking constant the whole weekend--just look at Fawkes' river picture). The water runs down into the engine bay and enough ends up over top of the coils that it causes a misfire in the rear bank. According to her uncle, they had about a dozen cars in today with the same problem; all with over 75K miles, all with misfires somewhere in the rear bank, all requiring coil replacement. Rave: Getting the coils at cost and saving some coin. Rant: Of course it'll be the rear bank! Why? Because you have to remove the damn intake manifold to get to it, that's why. It's a pain in the ass install. Once the car is done shaking like a chihuahua taking a piss in a blizzard, I'll drive it to Autozone and have them pull the codes for free to confirm that the problem is, indeed, in the rear bank and not the front. Knowing my luck, it'll be rear. Rave: Dry, nice weather through the weekend giving my car a break from the monsoon and giving me a great excuse to open up all the garage doors at my mom's house, blast the radio, and work on my car this weekend while drinking inappropriate amounts of beer.
Rave: I had a good, low key weekend. Friday night I finished reading my book and spent time with my husband. Saturday night we had friends over for lasagna and played cards. Rave: Next weekend won't be as low key. We're headed 90 minutes south to the town where I went to school for the St. Paddy's Pub Crawl downtown. We're staying at a friend's place and since she's pregnant she's the DD. Rant: Daylight Savings Time fucking blows. Twice as much when you have to wake up at 4am.
I miscalculated when retaking my stool at the bar and fell flat on my ass. I wasn't even drunk, just halfway through my first. The entire place saw. Talk about humiliating. The winners out of it? The two old men sitting at the table directly across from where I bit it. I know they got quite the view of my ass, (top of my) crack and all, when I got up. Fucking low rise jeans. The rave is I got a free drink out of it.
RANT: Was at the bar today, and this hot ass bitch fell on her ass. When she got up, we all got an eye full of the top of her buttcrack and her thong. Ugh. Then she wouldn't shut up about how awesome she is despite the blunder. I think I may be gay.
Rave: Completed the "appleization" of my house yesterday. The wife got an iMac, I got a new Macbook Pro, gave my youngest my old (less than 1 year old) Macbook, and set up AirPort Extreme. It took me no time to transfer all the data from my old macbook to the new one, set up the new computers and get the wireless network established and running. When does AT&T's exclusivity contract expire for the iPhone? Answer: Not soon enough.
Rant: A man on the moon. Microwave ovens. Fucking iPhones that let me browse the www in the palm of my hand. And there's no cure -- cure, fuck, there's not even a useful treatment -- for the common cold. Congestion, you cad go sug it! Bodern bedicine by ass.
Rave: That new clutch feeling Rant: $1400 down the drain Rave: For a new bearing kit ($250) new clutch ($330) and machined flywheel ($60) and 9 hours worth of labor, it's actually a decent price.
Major Rant: Cocksucking, motherfucking, disorganized as shit managers caused me to waste an entire motherfucking day because they're too inept to make a decision until less than 12 fucking hours before something needs to happen! Son of a bitch god damn it! (If you really want to read the story, click the spoiler...it's a long one) Spoiler (Preface: this conversation revolves around a 3rd shift job, 11pm-7am) Saturday night, 11:00pm Manager 1: "Hey Facepalm, 'Dumbass Retard' is really sick and might not be able to come in Monday night. Do you want some overtime this week? Facepalm: (after thinking it through, because I could use some extra money) "Yeah, sure. I'll take that shift." Manager 1: "Cool, I will let you know by tomorrow night for sure if we need you to come in. Facepalm: "OK." Sunday night, 11:30pm Facepalm: "Hey, 'Manager 2', I was just calling to see if you knew for sure whether or not I'm coming in to cover 'Dumbass Retard's' shift tomorrow night. 'Manager 1' told me that I'd know by tonight and I haven't heard anything. Manager 2: "Oh, uhhhh...well, I haven't heard anything, but I would just plan on coming in to work tomorrow night." Facepalm: "Oooookay..." Monday morning, 9:00am Facepalm: "Hey, 'Manager 1,' I still don't know if I'm coming in to work tonight. I kind of need to know now because if I'm going to have the night off I need to stay up and run some errands." Manager 1: "Oh, uhhh...well, I haven't heard from 'Dumbass Retard' yet, so if I haven't heard from him by 10am I'll let you know." Facepalm: (heavy sigh) "Okay." 11:30am Facepalm: (talking to Manager 1's voicemail) "Hey, this is Facepalm, just calling to see if I need to come into work tonight. You guys told me to plan on being there so I guess I'll go ahead and go to sleep, but please let me know something. Thanks." (I hang up the phone, and go to sleep) 6:00pm (I wake up to find I have a voicemail from Manager 1 @ 1:00pm) "Hey, Facepalm, 'Manager 1' here. Please DO NOT report to work tonight, 'Dumbass Retard' will be here to cover his shift." Facepalm:
Rant: Stupid government wanting to know all this shit about me. Rave: I got the huge census form. I answered the only question I had to: How many people live here? 2 Am I convinced that the census is a large Obama conspiracy to corral us into FEMA camps? Am I a crazy Republican? No. I am just lazy.
Rave: as someone who weighed a buck forty all through high school, I've noticed today that the last 6 months of hitting the gym have really paid off. I actually look like I possess some iota of upper-body strength. Rant: the above realization came during a cursory glance in the mirror immediately after a workout. Christ, I'm becoming everything I hate. If you'll excuse me, I have a tanning salon to go to and innocent citizens to assault.
Rant: I thought my first final was on Thursday, turns out it's Tuesday. God. Fucking. Dammit. Rave: That boot up my ass made me really productive, I've already covered half the material I need to and I've still got 19 hours till the test. cover 10 lectures in 19 hours? I can do that. Rant: My finals are stacked hardest to easiest on consecutive days, which means I'm pulling a marathon study session until at least thursday. Rave: It's seriously motivating me to be productive. Empathic Rave: This means I won't be posting for a few days. Plus after finals I'll be home and won't be procrastinating, so I doubt I'll post much on here for a while. CONGRATULATIONS, EVERYONE ELSE. I'M SO ENVIOUS OF YOUR FORTUNE. Rant: Back to the grindstone. Rave: Going to my friend's place for a fast breakfast/dinner. Leftover pizza and cherry pie for the win.
Rave- A job that I actually want has called me for an interview! Rant- I am not sure if I was talking to a man or woman when booking the interview, their name, jaime. arrrgh Rave- Swiss Chalet is on its way!! oh delicious cake what would I do without you? (not be turning into a fat ass perhaps?)
Rant: Trial actually started today and my stress level has me completely fucked. Added on top of it, my star witness was interviewed by the prosecution and gave them a leg to stand on. He hasn't been called to testify yet but he isn't a strong witness anymore. My stomach is in complete fucking knots.
Rave: Finally making some progress on my project at work after over a month of being stalled due to waiting on support from other groups. Rant: Said progress is due to my boss green-lighting me to cut some corners in order to get the thing finished. Now this project is really just staging work for some actual products down the line but fuck it, it's my deal and I wish I had the support to get it done right.
Rave: Iwent to the dentist for the first time in 9 years. X-rays looked good, gums looked good, and only one possible cavity that needs watching. Rant: Previous to the visit I was envisioning myself toothless with poorly fitting dentures and an empty bank account.
The best scrambled egg sandwich ever: -Whisk 2-4 eggs with a tiny bit of cream or half&half. -Melt a big hunk of butter in the bottom of a sauce or frying pan. Like 2 tablespoons. -Pour in the eggs and cook over a medium-low heat. When they start to form up, mix them gently and fold them over on themselves , like miniature omelets. DO NOT break them all up into dry grainy little chunks like all the shitty eggs you get at restaurants. -Dash of fresh ground pepper, dash of kosher salt. -BEFORE the eggs look done, take them off the heat, and off the burner if you have electric. If they look like they're done and you still have them on the heat, they will be dry and shitty by the time you eat them. Add a little more butter because butter is awesome. -Add some chopped chives, preferably fresh. Stir gently and let sit while you butter a toasted plain or sesame seed bagel. - Slide those greasy bitches out of the pan and onto that bagel. Top it all with 2 strips of bacon and cheese to taste. - Die young of myocardial infarction.
Rave: I was walking through the campus center today and noticed a few people handing out condoms to everyone passing by. One of them (a cute little Asian) ran up to me and said, and I shit you not, "Have some condoms. You're really cute I bet you use a lot of them." I don't know what came over me, but out of nowhere I pulled out a perfect Mac from Always Sunny. I just looked back at her and said, "Ooooh... Yeah. Not really into the whole condom thing." She looked at me horrified for a second and walked away. So I ran after her and tried to explain it was a joke and even took 4 condoms from her. But I think I blew my chances.... So rave for four free condoms, those things are expensive man. That is, unless you want to use the free bubble gum flavored ones they hand out at clinics that frankly, I don't trust.