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Sex Techniques

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Dcc001, Jun 6, 2010.

  1. Dcc001

    Dcc001
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    In honour of this little gem of an exchange that popped up in this week's drunk thread, I thought it might perhaps be time to have an educational thread on sex how to's.

    Focus: Sex tips, techniques and things you wished the opposite gender knew.
     
  2. shegirl

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    Why not. *rumpbump*

    Considering where we are, just be happy that they're awake and willing.
     
  3. silway

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    Focus: Sex tips, techniques and things you wished the opposite gender knew.

    Men can like foreplay too. I have been with various women who, for whatever reason, thought they were doing me a favor by skipping foreplay a lot. This is not the case. Men can like foreplay, touching, kissing, intimacy, caressing, and build up too, despite the cultural perception of them just wanting to hop on and hop off. Now sure, sometimes you just want a fast quick slam session, but the idea that men never want foreplay is ridiculous and all too common.
     
  4. Kubla Kahn

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    Can't be the only guy who thinks the whole, "tease the guy before a BJ/Don't worry I'll get down there!" bullshit is useless and not erotic AT ALL. Girls nothing on earth feels better than a BJ, just get down to business. Im not even really down with the slow intimate BJs that work up like a crescendo. The fast mouth twisting with opposite hand movement and suction sound, ala every porno ever, is all I need.
     
  5. ex Animo

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    Listen ladies, if you're going to jack me off, be gentle. Don't try to grab my shit like you're learning how to drive stick shift. That shit hurts. Would you like it if I tried to chew on your clit like it's bubblegum?

    For fucks sake.
     
  6. shegirl

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    Whatta bunch of Nancyboys. Look, I drive a stick, I can't help it if I power shift your unit.

    Focus: Kissing, please do not eat my face off or jab your tongue around in my mouth like it's searching for food. Thanks.
     
  7. Rob4Broncos

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    Careful with the goddamned teeth, already!

    That is all.
     
  8. lust4life

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    1. Please, be patient. It takes 30-45 minutes for the Viagra to kick in.

    2. When I'm done, you're done.

    3. Yes, I'll cuddle with you. After I go have a cigarette, check TiB, find something to eat, and hit the bathroom to clear the pipes...if you're still awake.
     
  9. Samr

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    I'm going to second this.

    It's taken almost two years for my now-wife to realize that I actually enjoy touching/kissing/feeling/biting/playing with her body too. It's purdy, and guys like to do that to purdy things. Women read in Cosmo or whatever about how good sex can last 30 minutes or a few hours? Well great, but guess what -- that's not all just straight jackhammer impaling-your-brain-on-my-dick-via-your-asshole shit. It's the lead-up too.

    Yes, men want sex, and most guys have to get our nut off more often than you. But that doesn't *always* mean jump straight on our dick and make it a race. Half the fun in sex for us is being with you, women.

    (The other technique I wish women knew was that after sex, the best thing to do would be to go grab us a cold beer or three and start making us a sandwich. But, I doubt many will take that too seriously...)
     
  10. ssycko

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    Dear mother of fuck this is so true. When I want you to blow me, I want you to put your god damn mouth on my god damn dick and go to town.

    Sorry. Too many girls who took waaayyyy too long to get down to business have made me a little bitter.
     
  11. whathasbeenseen

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    I'll second the be careful handling the junk sentiment. Just because you got your daddy's hereditary grip strength does not mean we have to test it out on my bald-headed giggle stick. Go crush some walnuts. Please do not attempt to lead me around the room with it. You'll get a newspaper on the nose. "No. Bad girl. BAD!"

    Also, the licking around the whole genital area for 10 minutes doesn't work me up and get me all horny. Here is a flow chart:

    [​IMG]
     
  12. CharlesJohnson

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    Dear ladies,

    Please stop trying to play with my peehole. I do not find it comfortable or pleasing, it actually stings a bit.

    Thank you,

    The Management.

    (Obviously this has happened on more than one occasion. Is it really that fascinating? You have one as well.)

    Can't second/third this enough. Erogenous zones are erogenous zones. Stimulating them makes the experience better for everyone. My friend asked me what men enjoy. She had no idea we gave a damn. It absolutely floored her that guys like basically the same things. Except the Jersey Meat Hook.
     
  13. toddus

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    This one either falls into:
    1) Yeh no shit
    2) Wait...fuck...that's awesome

    My stock foreplay move is 'the claw'. Index and middle finger in the vagina while the thumb massages the clit. I used to assume this was a standard move with guys, but in discussions learnt that only about half of guys know this move. For those in the other half. Try it.
     
  14. cynismus

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    Some use of the nails = fantastic.

    Clawing like a possessed cat? No, thanks.
     
  15. BL1Y

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    You can wake me up for sex really early in the morning, but don't expect me to have a lot of energy at 3:30am. If I'm up and it's up, I've done my job, you're getting on top.
     
  16. BeCoolBitch_BeCool

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    Unless you can tell I'm about to come too early. In which case, a deep gash near the kidneys can buy us another five minutes.

    Also, if you're taller than the guy you're with, widen your stance during doggie. It already takes a lot of energy without me having to jump upwards for each thrust.
     
  17. Crown Royal

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    Going to release the hounds too early,? Just drive your skull into the headrail of the bed. Vomit over the side of the bed after the concussion subsides, and you'll have at least a few more minutes until it's towel, cigarettes and fridge raiding time.

    Seriously, if you want to drive a woman up the wall just put half a pack of Listerine strips/ Altoids in your mouth 5 minutes before oral. Her grip on the sheets alone will turn them into confetti faster than you can say "When Harry Met Sally". Oh, and don't forget to tell them to shower first. The ladies LOVE that shit.
     
  18. Sam N

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    eh. fuck it.
     
  19. Dcc001

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    If a girl lets you know that what you're doing feels good, don't change it. More is not better, in this case. Keep the same rhythm and motion that you had before she said anything.
     
  20. Pink Candy

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    I cannot stress this enough.

    When going down on a girl, if you find the clit (and trust me, you'll know when you do), don't go off on some fool's errand after you find it. Keep fucking going. I don't know how many times I've wanted to haul off and punch a dude after he hit the spot, getting me almost to the brink...and then deciding to move the tongue somewhere else. I feel like Cesar Milan: "STAY! Stay! Good boy!"