The "FUCK THIS DAY IS TAKING FOREVER AAAHHHH!" WDT 6/4/10

Damn it all... Me and a couple buddies went to go to this "haunted" battleground about 20 minutes away from us but ended up having to back out because the only place we could park was right in front of these closed gates in front of the main road so we couldn't for the fear of getting caught trespassing and shit like that.

This is a paragraph from some website.
"In August 1777, 800 militiamen from the brigade went with General Herkimer to relieve the siege of Fort Stanwix. Nearly 500 were killed or wounded at the Battle of Oriskany. The loss of so many able-bodied men was a catastrophic blow to the settlements of the Mohawk Valley. The battle, fought on August 6, 1777, has been described as the bloodiest battle of the American Revolution."

It would have been sweet to go in and check it out.

On a side note, I've been sober for 2 and a half weeks..Not 1 beer....Yikes

 

??

Fuuuuuuuuck

Drunk as ten movie stars right now. Whatevvvver ]\\

So this is what its like to type when ou've drank 20 beers and a whoooooole lotta Canaidan Club.

Whoswasa youre night folks?

iVE SET a new standrad for being shitfaced

I dare 6you to challenge me.

Antee up bitches, Bring the funny. NOW. I nealry was gang raped on the danceleoor tonight. I feel violated. Im not a piece of meat. I just want to be held. is that so much to ask?!?!??!

I'm ginmg to go pray too the porcelian gods now. peace out, homes.

In closing, Enjoy this tune, like I always do:



GOD'S GIFT TO US IS CANADIAN GIRLS. Memorize that. MAke the necessary changes in life.


However, you yankee girls are alright in my book too. Bless ou all. G'night, and I'll see you in Disneyland.

 

I wish I could compete with crown royale but he takes the CAKE

I just nfucked this girl and it took me 2 HOURS TO CUM. Normally in this situation I would just give up but for some reason i was determined tonight. After I had gotten her off a few tiems she was almost falling asleep while I pounded away... might be the most disturbing thing ive ever taken part in.

To make myself feel better I was all "bitch you owe me pretend you like it" toward the end and so she moaned and shit for me until I spewed man goo in her pink cave.

Thanks for being a trooper,

Sincerely,

elephant diarrhea

 

Looks like we've got some up and running hams here. I don't remember how much I've drank today, but if you can't feel your face like I can, then you must clearly CLEARLY must be fucke dup.

So this one time. . . . Ahh I forgot.

What a pleasant satrday night though. How much corona can a wood chuck chug if a wood chuck could chug corona!!??

Take care of your shoes everyone.

 

I'm hella drunk
D, msn me tomorrow, I cannot reply

oy vey.

i went to bar. i was laready drunk. i got druikerl. i met a lot of poepple. so many people wanted tom talk to me. cool beans.
i am awesome.

gnite.

 

Pizza: breakfast of champions. Accept no substitutes.

The ball and chain has been asleep for the vast majority of the past 36 hours. What the hell.

 

My wedding -- featuring an open bar, amongst a shit ton of food -- included one of the bar tenders attempting to cut off all of my groomsmen and the father of my bride (but curiously, none of the guests) about an hour and a half into the reception.

I was still stone cold sober at the time, was there when she cut them off, and can personally attest to the fact that while I'm guessing they were all over the legal driving limit, in no way were any of them even remotely close to being overly-intoxicated.

She was promptly fired on the spot (not by me), and she took the damn tip jar with her.

 

I'm nursing a bottle of slim fast (fuck you, I have blood sugar problems and those work like crazy) while the wifey is laying in bed quiet, probably slowly realizing that it now takes a court and attorney fees to leave my happy ass.

This was the logical thing for me to do.

 

Maybe your ass will be less happy when you discover that it takes a court and attorney fees to leave her, too.

As a personal question, did you succeed in getting laid last night? Among the married friends I know, for all the effort it takes to put on a wedding, you're so exhausted by the end of it that having sex just isn't on the menu. Then again, one of my married friends got married the day before leaving for basic training and at least five weeks of being confined to barracks so he wasn't going to forgo pussy one second longer than he had to.

 

Nope. We're in Texas and it was an outdoor wedding, so we were both so fucking drenched in sweat, dehydrated, and exhausted by the time we got back to the house (reception was on the ranch, and yes, we did leave in a decorated tractor) that all we could think about was taking a long shower. We took it together, but that was basically the last romantic thing we did. Out of courtesy, I did formally ask if she wanted to have sex, but for once I didn't really want to and was relieved when she said no.

From my understanding -- and from asking the same of friends who have gotten married -- the wedding night sex, if it happens, is actually more like a chore, simply because both parties are usually tired as fuck.

 

You're going to be in Montreal for the Grand Prix, yes? Or was that other homosexual who knows you. In any case, how much are you paying for hotel rooms? Last I heard, one of the sketchier hotels on Crescent st was charging upwards of $200 / night that particular weekend. And I'm accustomed to paying $140 for a room with two double beds at the Holiday Inn on a street name I can't remember. Richmond, I think.

Some buddies were mentioning that they wanted to go see it and the ticket prices aren't nearly as obscene as I thought they would be. And another buddy knows someone who owns a bar that overlooks part of the race track. Says he makes 300K in champagne sales alone that weekend. Would be a great party.

 

Okay, Sunday afternoon game. Aaaaaand...go.

 

WTF? A cat just walked into the apartment from the patio door and made himself at home. I have named her Kevin. After the bird from Up. No after my father.

 

Had something like that happen to me once a few years ago. Balcony door was open, my bedroom door was open and I was in my room using my computer. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw this black cat just staring into my room. I spent about 3 or 4 seconds trying to figure out what the Hell was going before I got up and followed it back into the living. It calmly walked through the apartment, hopped back out the balcony door and crawled under the divider back onto my neighbor's balcony. Odd.

Motherfucker had the decency to not loot the place, though. That was cool of him/her.

 

Like black cats usually do?

Speaking of Montreal hotels, my friend had a random sex session 2 hours earlier and 1 room to the left of my random sex session last week. He was room 605, I was 606. We only found out the next day.

 

Someone gave it some ham out of the fridge. The gun is incase it makes itself too comfortable.

I actually left the gun outside last night while I was waiting to kill the skunk.

 

Actually, it is an American thing.

 

We do what we want.

 

Holy sweet tits on a goat, I haven't been that drunk in quite a long time. I met an absolute fuck tonne of people, it was a little beyond nuts. Unfortunately, I left my phone at home, so I didn't get any numbers - ah, such is life.

Time to drown myself in a shower, a nap and a pile of perogies.

 

Now for something completely different: I haven't gone down on a girl in over a year. The only times I ever have are to apply more spit, and that's for ten seconds at the most. (I always get head though)

Am I a prick or is this common?