Everyone has that friend. You know,the one who disappears while drinking. They are like a ghost, there one minute, who knows where the fuck the next. No one saw them left the party or the bar. I have that friend, and he is legendary for it. If putting his shoes on will make him be noticed, he will leave his shoes behind and walk several miles home barefoot. So one night, this friend and I were in a bar, after drinking all day, and were keeping the buzz alive. He decided while my back was turned he wanted to go for a walk (more like a hobble as he was on a cane) I noticed that he was gone, and figured he would be back. He didn't come back after 45 minutes, so I went home and waited (read fucked Jägerette while he was gone, since it was our first time alone that weekend) I called him several times and there was no response, and finally about 2 hours I heard the clicking of his cane on the driveway, so I opened the door for him, and asked where he had gone. He had woken up sitting on a swing on the wraparound porch of a random house. His shoes and cane were set neatly at the base of the stairs waiting for him as he rocked away. Apparently, drunk him found the pastoral charm of a porch swing so overwhelming that he had to go onto a random person's porch and swing for a while, where he eventually passed out. Focus: What random places/positions have you woken u? Next to a fat chick doesn't count
I woke up on a sidewalk in Pamplona, in a starbucks in Berlin, and on the train in Berlin. I have no idea how I managed to pass out at any of these spots but it sucked a lot.
In college, I went to the beach with a big group of friends and proceeded to stay obliterated all weekend... that Sunday morning I wake up in the bed alone and wonder where the fuck my boyfriend is. Not in the bathroom. Not answering the phone. Wait the balcony door is open... so I walk out. Not here either. Maybe he's at the pool... I go to look over the rail down at the pool & I see him. On the beach. Buried up to his waist. Passed the fuck out. I dug him out and he was sitting Indian style with his hands in his lap. He didn't remember how he got there. Shocker.
I woke up in Boston one morning. I had gone out drinking one afternoon to a couple of parties off campus with the plan of bringing the party back(read: girls) to our dorm later on. Well according to my roommates I was like the ghost in the above post. One minute I was there, the next I was gone. I went to school in southern CT and I guess in my infinite wisdom I thought it would be a good idea to go visit a couple of buddies I went to high school with who were going to school in Boston. I woke up(came to) on a bench in Back Bay Station. I couldn't find my friends because I had not remembered to take any of their phone numbers with me before I got on the train. When I got a hold of one of my roommates the following morning he said that he had given me my friends phone numbers at least a dozen times the night before, but I was so drunk I couldn't remember them.(God bless the Metro North and Amtrack for their bar car.) He said he finally gave up on me and unplugged the phone around 4am.
I could make this post ridiculously long, but I'll keep it short and sweet and say an apartment building lobby in Nanaimo, BC. I missed the last ferry to Gabriola Island by a couple of hours, and it being November and pouring rain, there was no chance I was spending the night outside. I was absolutely hammered (the reason I missed the ferry in the first place) and so the greatest plan I could come up with was stand outside the doorway of the apartment waiting for someone else to come who lived there. When they showed up I said my friend lived in the apartment but I couldn't remember which number he was, so I was gonna wait in the lobby and try phoning him from inside. Once they went into the elevator, I curled up on one of the chairs there, used my soaking wet jacket as a blanket and had one of the most uncomfortable and cold sleeps ever. Still better than my brother who managed to wake up in the drunk tank beside some dude wearing long johns. Seeing as how we were supposed to catch the ferry to Gabriola Island to meet up with not only my parents and sister, but also my extended family (cousins and aunts), my mom was not too pleased to say the least.
Two of my buddies and I woke up on lawn chairs outside a furniture store in Saarbrucken. It was 9am and we were surrounded by Germans going about their day shopping.
In a club, sober, multiple times. When you gotta sleep you gotta sleep. This morning, in my bed, but I was completely naked. I hate sleeping naked, especially at the moment because it gets freaking cold in the morning. In fact, I don't actually know where all my clothes are from last night, not good.
Probably a trap house. Usually I am a master negotiator about securing a place to sleep, even at two AM. I guess I have the "take pity on my drunken self" thing down to a tee.
in my beat up ford outside of a strip club in new orleans waiting for my "friend" to get off of work from 'big daddy's" so i could drive her back home to Lafayette.
I'm this guy, the runner who will take off at the drop of a hat, usually to go find a shower. The first place to look for me is the shower. When I'm really drunk I love showering. If I'm not there then go to the closest pizza place. I love cheese when I'm drunk too and have been found passed out on more than one occasion sitting in a booth surrounded by crusts. Or I'll be on a boat. Not mine mind you, but rather one where there's a party. I never cause a scene and I'm apparently very polite to the owners but I never remember meeting them or how I talked my way into their party.
Pamplona during Running of the Bulls is the king of random pass wakeups purely because all you do is drink in the streets for a week and occasionally get chased by bulls. In three trips there I woken up in: - The underground carpark of the bus depot - A park to find myself being pickpocketed - A field at the university, quite an effort seeing it was about 10 miles from town and no where near my campsite.
I woke up in the back of a VW bug once in a really weird position [I'm 6'4 so any position back there is awkward. It's weird because no one I know owns a VW. I went inside to look for my wallet and the car was gone when I got back out.
In this case, a picture is worth a thousand words. Yes, that is me passed out in the hotel bathroom. My mother would be so proud.
I'm usually that guy who disapears in the middle of the night without a trace. It usually happens when I'm blackout drunk, like the time on my 21st birthday when I woke up laying on the sidewalk in front of a movie theater, in a raging snowstorm. But other times I remember everything. One night some friends and I went to a bar, and just before closing time I decided I had to get something to eat NOW. There was a Perkins restaurant about two miles away, so I called the local taxi service. The phone was busy. I then waited outside for the random taxi that always shows up at closing time to pick up drunks, but after about 20 minutes of no taxi, I got tired of waiting. At this point I decided that Taco Bell would suffice, and it was just across the railroad tracks, two blocks away. I got there just in time to find out it was closed. I then decided to settle for the McDonalds across the street, which is usually open 24 hours. They were open, but it was drive-thru only. I tried the walk-thru method, but they were not impressed. Fuck. I tried calling all my buddies, who apparently had thrown their phones in the snow somewhere, since I couldn't even get a ring. The place I was staying at was 18 blocks away, and I didn't feel like walking that far in 20 degree weather. My only other option was to go back to the bar and wait for a taxi. I started walking back, and when I was near the railroad tracks, the crossing arms went down and a train was going by. The train was going pretty slow, about 15mph. This is when I started thinking, "this train goes right by Perkins, and It would be pretty easy to jump on and ride it there. Plus, by the time I'm done eating, the taxi service wouldn't be so fucking busy and I could get a ride home." I walked up close to the train, and started timing the cars so I could grab one and jump on. Just then I heard "DO IT! YEAH! HAHA! DO IT!" Some drunk was cheering me on from one of the cars waiting for the train. Awesome. I turned back around and started getting ready to jump again, and the train started speeding up. "Fuck, I better jump or I'm gonna miss it! It's going too fast, Fuck!" I chickened out. When the crossing arms raised up i walked across the tracks to the bar, where there were still a few people waiting for a taxi. Apparently they had been waiting since closing and hadn't seen one fucking taxi, and no one could raise the taxi service on their phone. "This is just fucking great, looks like I'm walking home." I started making the 18 block hike to my buddy's place, and grabbed a gas station burrito and a bag of chips on the way. I remember checking car door handles on the way, just in case someone was stupid enough to leave their car unlocked so I could "borrow" it to get home. No such luck. By the time I got to my buddy's place, my feet and ears were almost numb, so you could imagine my excitement when I realized that nobody was home and the door was locked (I found out later that by friend went home with the woodland troll he was hitting on earlier and the other guys went to an afterparty). I looked in all the obvious spare key hiding places. Nothing. I tried calling my friends again. Nothing. I finally found a basement window that was unlocked and I was able to push it in and climb inside.
A lot of times the strangest place I will wake up is in my own bed. By that, I mean that I will get blackout drunk and not remember any transportation that got me home. i One time I took BART to the city to see a concert and I got shitfaced off of Racer 5 IPAs. The venue was a good twenty minute walk from the BART station. I have no recollection of walking, taking a cab, getting on BART, taking the 10 mile ride home from BART. I woke up thinking, "What the fuck am I doing in my own bed?"
Isn't that always such a nice feeling though? All the litany of places drunk you could have put you, and he made it to the bed. Sometimes in one piece. "Pat on the back, drunk me! Bravo! I don't understand why I'm not wearing a shirt or socks yet still have jeans on, but still, well done!"
BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP. It's Wednesday, it's around 3 AM, and I am in an all girls dorm wearing nothing but pair of boxers. The fire alarm had just gone off at the worst possible time. BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP. The alarm starts reaching near deafening proportions. It literally sounds like a hoard of crickets on crack. I actually try to get up. But have you ever been so shit housed you can't even move? It was like my body refused my conscious will in some sort of drunken defiance. So I just lay there for awhile hoping the alarm will finally shut the fuck up. Minutes later, these two guys decked in firefighter gear bust into the room, which at the time looked like something out of a scifi horror film. They order me to get out. I try to get dressed, but its really no use in my current state, so they just shove me out of the room. I stumble outside and it is bitter fucking cold. My balls have receded into my stomach, right next to my kidneys. Of course, I am the only guy out there amidst of sea of girls and wearing nothing but a pair of boxers. I contemplate how awesome this would be if 1.) I hadn't drunk enough beer to kill a small blue whale and 2.) The cold hadn't acted like David Blain and magicked my dick away. To make matters worse, the girls are finding this hilarious and won't leave me alone. I have also regained enough of my consciousness to remember how annoying it would be to be fined for violating coed curfew. So, I tell my friend to bring me my clothes, and I go over and hide in the woods, like I am the fucking Yetti or something. I easily stand half naked in the 'fuck me' cold for at least another twenty minutes before they let everyone back inside. The funniest thing is that there wasn't even a fire, some fine example of humanity had just pulled the alarm.
In Tomkins Sq. Park in Manhattan. I'm not even sure how I got in considering it is closed at night or why I decided to go in all by myself. A cop woke me up and asked me what I was doing. I apologized and surprisingly he actually just told me to go home.....after first asking if I had any place to go. I also had an inexplicable cut on my forehead. Apparently at some point I ran away and when my friends called me I screamed something about being chased by a dog and hung up.