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Zoom in on that grainy spot. Rotate... good, now enhance it

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Supertramp, Dec 28, 2009.

  1. Fernanthonies

    Fernanthonies
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    Lots of good ones posted so far, but there is one in particular that always bothers me. Anytime you see someone in a movie or TV show go into a bar and order "A Beer". Or even worse they will just look at the bartender, raise their finger, and then go back to their conversation and the bartender knows exactly what you want.

    My step dad is a police officer, has been for 25+ years, and I used to hate watching anything with him that had any sort of police involvement. Anytime they did anything, he would pull the whole "a real cop would never do that" and then he would explain to me the proper procedures. As much as I hated it, it rubbed off on me and now I do it all the time.
     
  2. lust4life

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    Gun recoil, or lack thereof. Yes, Dirty Harry is a badass, but the recoil from a .44 magnum is going to be slightly more than a few inches.

    Star Trek IV: Scotty giving the guy the formula for transparent aluminum. Just a few keystrokes and 23rd century technology is processed, configured and diagramed in nanoseconds? And I believe this was done on an Apple Lisa.

    Friends: Unless Rachael and Monica were trust-fund babies, there's no way they could afford the rent for an apartment that size in Manhattan.

    Doubt: Nuns weren't that nice.
     
  3. Rush-O-Matic

    Rush-O-Matic
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    I think this happens in CSI Miami more than any other show. (I know, I know, why the hell am I watching that . . . mostly for the hot chicks.)

    But, when Horatio (or whomever) gets a call at the lab, and the suspect is at 123 Maple Street "right now." And, then he screeches up across town in his Hummer. What the hell? There's not a radio car or some other unit that's closer than he is at the lab? The screeching Hummer shot is always preceded by an obligatory helicopter view of the Hummer rolling down the freeway. Hell, it would take 6-8 minutes just to get on and off the freeway, much less to the address.
     
  4. Luke 217

    Luke 217
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    I think you and I are watching a completely different kind of horse movie.
     
  5. walt

    walt
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    A couple things that I notice and they bug the shit out of me:

    - In several movies, a car comes to a sudden stop or suddenly takes off and you hear tires screeching. The only problem... it's not on pavement.

    - When someone picks up a shotgun in the movies and pumps the action to put a shell in the chamber ( or whatever the hell doing that's called). I'll give you the first one, but if you do it more than that without firing, you're sending a perfectly good shotgun shell onto the floor, unfired.

    - In any medical show, the paramedics, doctors, nurses and other medical staff act is if every trauma, cardiac arrest, etc was their first with all the yelling and running around. That kind of thing is pretty rare, or should be, but those people do it for every checst pain. Don't get me started with all the mistakes they make. I now know where those first year med school drop outs end up: technical consultants.

    I'm sure there's more, but I'll leave it at that.
     
  6. fly1180

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    I can't believe I'm posting this. In one of the very first episodes of Friends, Monica explains that the apartment is/was her grandmother's and that they were pretending that she was still she was alive/lived there so the landlord couldn't unlock rent control.

    Focus: Fighting. I'm sorry, I don't care how tough you are, but a straight shot to the jaw from a bare knuckled fist is putting you out cold. Now with all the MMA movies its shocking how many basic moves they do wrong/call the wrong name/mispronounce.
     
  7. The Village Idiot

    The Village Idiot
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    Porn Worthy, Bitches

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    Double Jeopardy

    Dear God, the whole premise is so legally flawed, and for a movie based on a 'legal doctrine' this one falls short. Ashley Judd is convicted of killing her husband (whose body is never recovered). She then is paroled after like 5 years. For murder. Yeah, not going to happen. She then is under the impression that she can now kill her husband for real because she was already convicted of it once...and hence, double jeopardy applies. Majorly wrong.

    Pretty much any legal movie (and most law based shows-with The Practice possibly being the worst offender, ever) I've seen really gets it wrong. Two that I can think of off the top of my head that actually do a decent job are A Civil Action and The Verdict.
     
  8. breakylegg

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    If you're ever in a collapsing mine or cave in, sprint to the exit. You will escape in the nick of time, because the rocks will fall in a handy concentric pattern.

    If you ever cause something to blow up, casually walk away silhoutted in flames. Coolly straighten your lapel in the process.

    Those guys firing machine guns mean you no harm. They are really aiming at bottles and flowerpots behind you.

    If you're a complete loser with a heart of gold Drew Barrymore will do you--but only after a heart-warming montage.

    Get away from the random pile of cardboard boxes in the back of that warehouse. Soon a skidding car or fighting humans will topple it.
     
  9. NMW

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    I've never understood why people care about this stuff, it's a movie, it's not a documentary. How boring would it be if all movies were completely accurate, Bond would be dead in the first 5 minutes of the movie, there would be virtually no gun fights/explosions etc....
     
  10. Currer Bell

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    If you sleep with a stranger while on vacation halfway around the world, you will soon find out you two have a connection. At best he or she will be the sibling of your greatest enemy. At worst he or she will be your sibling.
     
  11. breakylegg

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    See, I'd pay to see that.

    Come to think of it, why can't we have both?

    Really, who cares about this thing called plausibility? Bond can just die every couple of minutes and still get the girl... And when aliens attack we can just cut to tossed hubcaps flying through the air... And why have people speak before they kill or fuck each other? Oh, to provide some sense of real life? Aren't those what documentaries are for?
     
  12. Crown Royal

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    Nerds that win over the hot chick. Tony did it in Dazed and Confused, and neurotic, Harland Williams imposter Shia LaPoof scores a grade 11 packaged like a brunette centrefold in Transformers.

    This doesn't happen in real life. It's not scientifically possible. In reality, popular girls in high school use dweebs to copy their homework, berate them in class/the hall than invite them to parties at houses of people they don't know in hopes they get the shit kicked out of them by some random stranger.

    Also, police stations are not glossy looking rock star mansions. They are dingy, welfare grade flourescent-lit shitholes that reek of stale piss in every room and have the biggest rejects of society dwelling in every corridor.
     
  13. scotchcrotch

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    The stripper with a heart of gold that will not only play Halo with you after work, but introduce you to her kid within hours of meeting you.
     
  14. dixiebandit69

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    AHEM.....


    OK, I don't care how badly I have to shit, there ain't no goddam way in hell that I would squat down on a toilet like that. Ever had to shit in the woods? Me too. It's not that bad.

    FOCUS: People, specifically cops, are invisible in a parked car.
    Have you ever sat in a parked car for an extended period of time? If you are in a neighborhood, parking lot with a security guard, by the side of the road, etc., pretty soon you have some dipshit (usually with a badge) asking you what you are doing there and to move your ass along.
    Hell, several times when I have been drunk and tried to sleep it off in my car, a cock-sucking cop comes by to harrass and/or arrest me.
    Seriously, a few months ago, I was on my way home from a friend's wedding, and I was hungry (not drunk), so I stopped at a convenience store and got a hot dog and a soda. I sat in my car on the side of the store WITH THE DOME LIGHT ON, eating.
    Next thing I know, a cop pulls up behind me with his lights on, blocking me in, asking me what I was doing.
    His excuse: He said that he was watching traffic from across the street, and he saw me waiting in the car AND THOUGHT THAT I WAS WAITING ON PEOPLE INSIDE WHO MIGHT BE DOING A BEER RUN. FUCK YOU, GUMSHOE.
    Seriously, I know this from experience: you are MUCH less likely to be caught doing anything illegal (drinking in a car, doing drugs, getting a blowjob, etc) when the car is moving, as opposed to parking it somewhere and drinking your 40, snorting your bumps, or getting sucked off by a crack whore.
    Most cops are assholes.
     
    #54 dixiebandit69, Jan 5, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  15. kuhjäger

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  16. Idaho_Vandal

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    For that matter I think the cast spent about 3 hours at their jobs a day and about 7 at that fucking coffee shop.
     
  17. CYbrosis7

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    Focus: No one ever, fucking ever in the history of hollywood or television, locks the fucking car door when they exit a vehicle. The car may beep but when they use the remote locking - but it's usually a car that's over 15 years old.
     
  18. Allord

    Allord
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    Bullets that randomly explode and send sparks in all directions on impact. Because every bullet, no matter the caliber or design, is really a miniature high explosive rocket.

    The infinite clip of ammo/The unlimited number of clips in your pockets/The weightlessness of carrying six different guns and about a thousand bullets for each and the perfect Tetris-master-esque ability to apparently have been carrying all this ammo with most of it invisibly packed except for a few dozen in the bandoliers over your chest.

    But nothing bugs me more than The girl who falls for the nerd precisely because he is a spineless pussy, a pushover, and totally devoted to worshipping her despite any of her serious character flaws and inconsiderateness. The portrayal of this perfect way for a guy to stay celibate, unhappy, and confused as to why he is a failure with the women as the normal way to get the women.

    I would say it's far more pervasive than the apparent ability of fictional computers to impossibly enhance information that doesn't exist in photos, and I would argue the toll is much greater from a social perspective because it sets up young guys to bash their heads against the wall repeatedly and not understand the problem.

    It's the male tween equivalent that Twilight is for impressionable young 40 year old bored housewives.
     
  19. Bob Trousers

    Bob Trousers
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    One of the stupidest examples of computer related fuck-wittery I've ever seen was on TV last night.

    The film was 'Fortress', starring Christopher Lambert. Basic premise is that it's set in the future, and he gets arrested and sent to this high-tech prison fromm where he tries to escape. The prison is run by a super computer called Zed, and prison operations are overseen by Zed's operator. At the end, Mr Lambert and a couple of other convicts gain access to Zed's control room, and after killing her operator commit the laziest example of computer hacking ever commited to film.

    The nerdy convict amongst them plonks himself down at the keyboard, manages to guess the password required to access Zed's mainframe, and then delivers the killer blow: He types (and I'll have to paraphrase here) "Upload virus". And that's it. Chaos. Lights start flashing, machinery goes haywire, prisoners are free to roam and destroy the prison and someone kicks a puppy.

    This is a state of the art, futuristic, maximum security prison. Seems highly dubious that they would install a virus in the operating system designed to run it-even if they needed a failsafe in case Zed went all Skynet on them, you'd think it would be a shut-down type programme as opposed to the software equivalent of Ebola. Christ-a couple of seconds to show the convict accessing the virus from an outside source would have made sense-instead, he types one line and disables the entire facility.

    Shite.

    No apologies for length.
     
  20. Poison Puss

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    How the bad guys with automatic weapons can't hit the good guys who just have to run around a little to avoid all those flying bullets, but if the good guys have just a hand gun, they can nail the bad guys with just a few shots. Irritates me.