Zoom in on that grainy spot. Rotate... good, now enhance it

I just saw this post on WarmingGlow. About this video:


Don't you hate it when movies and TV shows get very basic computer/tech stuff completely wrong? Or when the producers use the worst, most over done cliches and expect the audience to go with it?

Focus: What are your pet peeves when it comes to movies? Any favorite cliches?

Other than the above video, I really don't like the way gunshots sound in movies. A gunshot is REALLY LOUD. Watch Black Hawk Down and then compare it with the flimsy pea-shooters in The Dark Knight, which is easily the weakest point of an otherwise great movie.

 

Nedroid anyone?

 

Nothing ruins a movie quite like when the lead actor, who is being paid millions and millions, can't even do the fucking accent they're meant to.

A few I can think of:

1)Leonardo Di Caprio's "South African" accent in Blood Diamond:



2) Brad Pitt in Seven Years In Tibet ("Himilayas...")

3) Don Cheadle's Attempt at a "Cockney English" accent in Oceans 11

 

One movie cliche that skeeves me out a little is when a bartender uses a towel to clean or dry a glass. If I went to a bar and saw someone doing that, I'd probably leave... I don't need a sanitized glass polished with the same rag used to clean up beer puddles or Special Ed's slobber from the bar top.

 

Minor Spoilers

The movie (500) Days of Summer had was interesting and well directed. There were three HUGE problems however:

1. The 12-year old sister with dispensing sage wisdom (this also applies for the series Californication). I don't think I should elaborate on how stupid it sounds when a tweenager is suggesting that her older brother should get a hard drink, sit down and vent about his love life.

2. He works a phony, dead-end job that he hates (Greeting card writer) and aspires to be a successful professional but also creative (architect). Architect, seriously? How many times have we seen this?

3. The breakdown montage. I think the biggest travesty was that the movie had real scenes, real situations but was mired in Hollywood cliches like the ones above. The breakdown montage symbolizes everything that is wrong with romantic-drama movies. Recall the second-half of Wedding Crashers, when the jokes finish and it's just boring? Now remove Vince Vaughn from it, shorten it to twenty minutes and you have the end of (500) Days of Summer.

3a. The girl he meets at the end, Autumn?. Why does every story have to have a happy ending? I can only remember three movies that don't, No Country for Old Men, There Will Be Blood and Up in the Air.

On a more minor note, I think that every police precinct has a hard-nosed take-no-prisoners Detective/Lieutenant and I wish that he were on my case every time I have an issue.

 

-If you get in a car chase, you will end up in Chinatown. You will then be stalled by some sort of parade, because the Chinese obviously throw parades every single day of the year. P.S: LOOK OUT FOR THAT FRUIT STAND AND PANE OF GLASS, RIGGS!

-Outunning a hallway fireball (Long Kiss Goodnight, Judge Dredd, Watchmen, etc.). It simply cannot be done, not even in a fucking SR-71. STOP DOING IT.

-The steam and sparks factory. Nothing is made in these action movie settings, but lots of sparks and steam shooting out of things. For example, See: Gone in 60 seconds, Ladder 49 and other ultra-shitty Hollywood product movies.

-The high-place fight. If characters chase each other up to a high place, the bad guy will fall to his death onto the roof of a car or skylight or something that will allow the filmmakers to not have to show what an ACTUAL ground impact does to a body (think "smashed into a million bloody chunks"). Exception: Last Of The Mohicans (fucking awesome movie). Mogwa fights Hawkeye's father, gets FUCKED UP, and dies on the EDGE of the cliff.

-Making love in a room with 500 fucking candles in it. Do you have ANY idea how scorching that would be?!?!?! And who's got that kind of time to light all those fire hazards? Five minutes after engaging, I'll be watching Family Guy reruns and scratching my ass with a melon scoop.

If your movie stars Adam Sandler, you will see 500 product placements before they even show the fucking Warner Brothers symbol at the beginning. Seriously, asshole. You need THAT much money to make more over-boiled tripe you call a "comedy"?

 

"I'll create a GUI interface using visual basic/see if I can track an IP address"



Also, snipers. Movies will always show the shooter place the cross hairs right over the target's head no matter how far away they are. Depending on the distance the shooter may have to aim above the target's head in order to allow the bullet to drop onto its target like an arrow would.

 

In movies, every farmer is a bib overall wearing retard who runs a farm operation from the 1940's. Any work he does involves moving bales, shoveling, or something involving a pitchfork. In movieland it's like everyone in a rural area doesn't realize that it's the 21st century.

Guns are another thing that drives me nuts. I've yet to see a movie made where they had enough attention to detail to have the character not shoot 15 rounds out of a revolver.

 

Quite simply, the fight scenes need to stop being so damned fast. In most action movies, you can't even see the most entertaining parts, like the action of a fight. The view changes every second, and it's just boring.

One movie which was done correctly, was Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. The last fight scene, where Shredder beats the shit out of the Turtles was perfect. Good angles, good overall fighting and martial arts. The only shitty part is where Shredder loses his cool, gets emotional, and loses to Splinter.




You might notice in that scene Casey Jones jumps into a garbage truck that just happened to have BOTH it's doors open, and then managed to hotwire it in 5 seconds. What the fuck?

 

When a computer is being hacked it always has a graphic interface which not only explains what it's doing on a very basic level, it also has some sort of cute animation displaying it

 

I hate the way movies act like the blast from a shotgun or pistol will literally lift the bad guy off of the ground and throw him through a door or window. It is also capable of killing instantly when someone is shot anywhere on the body. Public Enemies got most of the gun stuff right, however, which was pretty cool for a gangster movie.

 

Same thing when the car careens off a cliff. That always causes an explosion, even though mythbusters showed how unrealistic it is.

Reminds me of a simpsons episode. The kids start a mini riot in their classroom, someone flips over a desk, and the desk erupts into flames.

 

Don't worry about the size of your erect penis. Nobody will see it. Ever.

 

College dorm rooms are always fucking gigantic in TV and movies. I don't think I've ever seen a realistic situation where two people are crammed into a one person room. I don't care if big rooms photograph better, there has to be some way to depict how dorm life really plays out. I think the first show that does that will get accolades from current and former students for finally getting it right.

 

When a man and a woman are being chased, the man is usually pulling the woman by the hand. That's fucking stupid - how would that help? Even if the man is faster, it's not like you can pull somebody faster than they could run. Furthermore, have you ever tried to sprint while holding hands with someone? Of course you haven't, it's completely unnatural and counterproductive.

Another pet peeve with this kind of scene is when the man, who's leading the woman by the hand, keeps saying "Come on!" and "This way!" every time there's a new camera angle (Transformers 2). You're pulling her by the hand, and she has eyes. "Oh, we're going into that alley that you're pulling me into? That one right there, the one that I can clearly see? Ok... well, I guess it's time for a break, maybe I'll just sit- Oh right, we're being chased by a robot, good thing you said 'come on' again!"

 

Whenever anyone is typing on a computer , noone ever makes a spelling mistake or typing error , the backspace key on Hollywood computers is non existant.

 

How about racing movie like the Fast and the Furious, where everyone shifts gears 10 times in under 15 seconds?

Also, when a bad guy flicks a cigerrette at some gasoline on the ground, and it ignites. Ive tried it. It dosent work. Mythbusters tried it too. Same result.

What about peoples bedrooms in the popular movies like the American Pie movies, Disturbia, Eurotrip etc. There almost bigger then the main floor in my house.