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ZOLTAR SPEAKS. 2011 Predictions Thread!

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by DrFrylock, Dec 28, 2010.

  1. DrFrylock

    DrFrylock
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    The White

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    OH YEAH TiBitches it is that time again yes it is it is time for the YEARLY PREDICTIONS THREAD FOR 2011.



    FOCUS: STEP 1: AIM RAMP AT ZOLTAR'S MOUTH. STEP 2: INSERT COIN AT TOP OF RAMP. STEP 3: PROGNOSTICATE THE FUTURE.

    ALT FOCUS: Go back to the 2010 Thread and see whether you were right or wrong. Or make fun of people who were unbelievably wrong!

     

    Attached Files:

  2. Ogee

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    I have less than high hopes for 2011:

    Gas hits $4/gallon,
    Tim Geithner replaced by someone from Academia who is even worse than he is,
    Massive recalls for Chevy Volt and lots of news stories about firefighters being electrocuted when attempting to cut open a car after an accident,
    Dick Clark finally announces he has, in fact, been dead since 2006; Ryan Seacrest delivers eulogy.
     
  3. Viking33

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    Worldwide
    Gas still hovers around $3/gallon through next year.

    North Korea stays quiet for the majority of the year and then pulls another shit stunt on South Korea. Diplomacy keeps things from sparking into a full blown war.

    Julian Assange doesn't get tried for espionage but ends up mysteriously dying of a heart attack or other "natural" cause. Conspiracy theorists have a field day with it.

    By the end of the year, a neutral internet is gone. AT&T, Verizon and Comcast will pound packages up our asses to access sites like Facebook, Hulu and Twitter.

    2011 will be better for movies. It's not saying much but I'm crossing my fingers that it's not worse than 2010 at the box office.

    Sports

    In February, the New England Patriots blow out the Saints in the Super Bowl. The Bears make it to the NFC Championship and lose a close game in a shootout between Cutler and Brees. The Patriots cake walk through the AFC.

    2011 Rugby World Cup: New Zealand beats Ireland in the championship 23-17. The US barely makes it out of pool play and gets hammered in the first round of bracket play. England chokes in pool play and doesn't advance.

    MLB: Yankees/Cardinals in the World Series. Yankees in 6.

    NHL: Detroit wins the Stanley Cup.

    NBA: The Heat don't win the championship.
     
  4. DrFrylock

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    1. Oil hits $100 a barrel but closes below $100 by this time next year.
    2. Unemployment around 7-8%. Still high but drops a little.
    3. Fed is still too cautious to raise rates. Home prices rise slowly - faster than inflation. I will still complain about them being way too high.
    4. Economy as a whole in a slow recovery. Congressional/executive gridlock works in our favor.
    5. Everyone (else) will be on Facebook. Less emailing.
    6. More grousing by the cable companies as money starts to move to Hulu and Netflix. A little less than you expect because more disposable income is freed up with slow economic improvement. The Internet remains (mostly) neutral.
    7. A movie with a realistic, synthetic human character that crosses the uncanny valley. Debate rages on whether it did or not.
    8. Absolutely nothing funny from Will Ferrell.
    9. Everyone wants Thor to be the next Iron Man. Instead, it blows ass.
    10. Kung Fu Panda 2 does huge business.
    11. Cars 2 is Pixar's first real misstep.
    12. Sucker Punch is a modest sleeper hit.
    13. Pirates breaks even. They release 5 only because they have it in the can already.
    14. Harry Potter 7.5 wins an Oscar or two, but not in a major category.
    15. Cowboys and Aliens sucks hard but makes some money anyway. Harrison Ford's "detached grandpa" character in full effect in a way it hasn't been since that horror movie he did with Michelle Pfeiffer. Audiences begin to wonder if he will ever have charisma again.
    16. Michael Douglas dies; nation mourns Gordon Gekko.
    17. Red State has more talking than any other horror movie ever. Makes $8M which is a lot on a $3M budget but Kevin Smith is heartbroken. Kevin goes into a 2-3 year period fueled by soft drugs and mildly self-destructive behaviors, like Belushi-lite. Everything he makes until 2015 is crap.
    18. Scream 4 is surprisingly good/fun and is a return to form. Plans are made for Scream 5, which will be meh.
    19. Steve Martin and Steep Canyon Rangers win a Grammy for their new album.
    20. At least one TiB member will become real-world infamous and get in the news for being involved with some event, probably not in a good way.
    21. House is still the best show on TV but contract negotiations fuck up season 8.
    22. John Locke and Ben Linus' buddy drama falters for a few episodes, then shows real promise and is abruptly cancelled. Nation mourns.
    23. That neat show with Colin Hanks and Bradley Whitford gets cancelled, sadly. Whitford's role of a lifetime evaporates.
    24. There are enough cooking-related reality shows on TV to fill a full channel.
    25. Some backwater state like Montana legalizes pot.
     
  5. Juice

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    -Housing market plummets Q2
    -Gas prices will not drastically fluctuate
    -North Korea attacks the South again
    -Mass exodus of doctors/nurses into other fields
    -Flexible spending accounts dry up
    -US officially attacks Yemen
    -Chinese economy slows down due to large elderly population
    -Bankruptcy of the E.U.
    -USB 3.0 is released
    -iPhone 5 released in June
    -IBM begins designing/testing a petaflop computer
    -Windows 8 is released for beta testing
    -William Shatner, Carrot Top, and Lindsay Lohan die
     
  6. thevoice

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    Focus:

    2011 Sports Championship Predictions:

    NHL - Vancouver Canucks vs. Pittsburg Penguins - Canucks Win.
    NBA - LA Lakers vs. Boston Celtics - Lakers win.
    MLB - Philadelphia Phillies vs. Boston Red Sox - Phillies win.
    NFL - New England Patriots vs. Philadelphia Eagles - Patriots win.

    2011 World Predictions:

    - Miley Cyrus will pose nude and or have nude photos leaked.
    - The cast members of the Jersey Shore will all magically disappear from the face of this earth. (One can hope)

    2011 Personal Predictions:

    - Will certainly be engaged to the girlfriend of nearly three-years.
    - Will reach my 200 pound weight goal.
    - Will interview for a WHL job.
    - Get my first hole-in-one.
    - Will be able to run 10K without stopping.
    - Will have traveled to either Montreal, New Orleans, St. Louis or Nashville (all are on my travel bucket-list).


    ALT. Focus:

    My Predictions for 2010 were:

    Super Bowl: Colts - WRONG.

    Stanley Cup: Sharks - WRONG.

    NBA: Cavs - WRONG.

    MLB: Cardinals - WRONG.

    My Personal Predictions for 2010:

    - The girlfriend and I will be engaged by this time next year. - WRONG, But it's coming soon.

    - I will finally reach my goal of weighing 200 pounds again. As of right now I weigh 224. - Wrong. But I'm only 10 pounds away.

    - I will win the Media Award for the SJHL. - Wrong. But nobody won.

    - I will finally get my 'brown belt.' - Right. Woohoo!
     
  7. Crown Royal

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    Focus
    - There will be major climbing in the housing building boom, but little climb in the housing value boom. Big fucking surprise.
    - My kid will have her first major trycycling accident.
    - Even with the best goalie in the league between the iron, The Sabres will not even make the payoffs this year, pissing me off even more.
    - The Captain America and Thor movies will suck, causing script re-writes for the Avengers high-concept movie.
    - I think the Saints will win the Supwerbowl again this year. I don't know why, but I see it happening. Patroits will blow it again because they're evil. At least the Cowboys suck.


    OSCARS (for a monumentally shit year of films):
    Best Picture: The King's Speech
    Director: Darren Androgenovsky or whatever- Black Swan
    Actor: James Franco- 127 Hours
    Actress: Natalie Portman- Black Swan
    Sup. Actor- Geoffrey Rush- King's Speech
    Sup Acterss- The kid from True Grit. She was superb.

    Alt-Focus
    Christoph Walz will win best supporting actor for Inglourious Basterds. It's the most brilliant performance of the year.RIGHT
    MTV will sign fifteen more reality shows, including House of Date Rape and My Coat Hanger Abortion Story.WRONG
    Darryl Strawberry will be arrested for something.DUNNo. PROBABLY RIGHT
    I'll manage to have my fourth no-fault right-off of a car I own within an 18 month span.AMAZINGLY, WRONG
    I'll finally get back to Cuba for a week. The good money's on this prediction, since I'm already going.WRONG. FUCK.
    Kings of Leons will still suck. That's right, Hoagie. Fuck yourself and your shitty taste in "rock" music.RIGHT
     
  8. kuhjäger

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    My 2010 prediction:
    Mission accomplished.
     
  9. Omegaham

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    Another slight recession will hit, smashing any sort of progress we've made over the last few months. Much blame will be thrown around, and the government will be clueless.

    With the Space Shuttle getting retired, NASA will sit on its ass and do absolutely nothing.

    The EU will have a large amount of trouble. Ireland, Portugal, and Italy are on the brink, and the EU is already hurting from bailing out Greece. England and Germany are well-intentioned and reasonably healthy, but sooner or later they'll say "Sorry guys, we can't help you." Mass mayhem will ensue, to include political upheaval and riots as governments enact drastic measures to stay afloat.

    The war in Afghanistan will continue as usual, and no one will give a fuck.
     
  10. Rob4Broncos

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    I'm just hoping for a zombie apocalypse.
     
  11. ghettoastronaut

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    Members of this board (and / or its successors) will make wild predictions about fields they have no business making predictions in.

    As for me, I've got this nagging feeling I'm going to be living somewhere I didn't particularly want to live with a paucity of social contact and a low "shit to do" factor. The fact that I'm living in a big city right now is going to make the contrast seem that much worse.
     
  12. Kampf Trinker

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    For 2010:

    Sports:

    - Packers will win superbowl. Shegirl apologizes profusely for losing faith.
    - Oregon beats Auburn in BCS championship.
    - Wisconsin routs TCU
    - Ohio St wins NCAAB championship (it will probably be Duke, but I hope not).
    - NFL lock out doesn't happen.

    TIB:

    - WDTs hit all time low. People start chronicling everything they do on the weekends.
    - Every male on TIB continues to accuse every other male about complaining about not getting laid.
    - There is 100+ threads about sex. I learn even more about strangers' sexual habits.
    - Not totally related to TIB, but Tucker Max becomes irrelevant. Fascination ends.

    Personal:

    - I will get a new job and move to a new city/town.
    - I will have sex with a black girl (I have to do that damnit).
    - I will quit smoking. I will start smoking. I will then quit smoking and start smoking again.
    - My crazy ex will stop stalking me. Hopefully because she kills herself.

    Other stuff:

    - War in Afghanistan finally ends.
    - Economy continues to improve, but does not reach full recovery.
    - Will be a better year for movies, but still not great.
    - New music continues to suck.
     
  13. iczorro

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    Either Miley Cyrus or Lohan will have a full on leaked sex tape this year. Lohan might actual just do legit porn.

    Agree with Michael Douglas dying, but I'll add Mel Gibson. Either that, or he'll live to be 95.

    Superbowl will be Pats - Eagles, Eagles will eke it out, half of America will be in love with Mike Vick, people with dogs will not understand why.

    Five Words: Mark Wahlberg, Best Actor Nominee (haven't seen the movie yet).


    Personally:

    I will learn more about wine than ever before, and drink a great deal of it.

    Back down to around 210lbs after allowing P90X to kick my ass again.

    Buy a new Camaro Convertible.

    Minimal relationship type activity.
     
  14. Volo

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    Yeah, wouldn't want anyone to have any fun now would we? Christ, you even dropped the most boring and vague post I've ever seen on this forum right after it. To top it off you used paucity in a fuckin' sentence. We're not in the 16th century here.

    Pfft!

    FOCUS: Zoltar, and other old pop-culture icons/quotes, will fall further into obscurity despite the Information Age, causing Volo to put a gun in his mouth because he gets blank, and sometimes offended, stares after saying "Do you remember when you used to sit on my face and wriggle?", while shit like "I'm bluffin' with my muffin" gets a fuckin' standing ovation.

    Ahem...*clears throat*

    Sorry about that. Just got a little angry there, please carry on.
     
  15. Samr

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    - Durbanite gets laid, regrets it.

    - TiB either gets shut down, or blows the fuck up. If it gets shut down, it will be because of a job switch on behalf of those keeping us around; if it blows up, it will be because someone on here does something to gain notoriety.

    - My wife gets pregnant. God I home this isn't true, but knowing how much has changed in the past year, I can honestly see this happening, and I will support it.

    - I get accepted into law school. It sucks. I keep with it.

    - America ceases military operations in the middle east (not to get political)

    - Someone on/from Jersey Shore commits suicide.

    - Dave Chappelle gets arrested

    - Ballsack returns, posts
     
  16. zyron

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    Ballsack4.0 will have joined the board sometime in January.
     
  17. lust4life

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    Lindsay Lohan will appear on "Celebrity Rehab" where she will get clean and spark a new chapter in her career which will be catapulted to new heights of fame and fortune, starring in a movie that KIMaster rates 10/10. Several members of TIB commit suicide.