In my office, the following discussion (triggered by the Jian Ghomeshi trial) took place. Paraphrasing: Dude: Are you watching the twitter feed of the Ghomeshi trial? Female Coworker: Yeah I've read it today. What's up? Dude: 19 Partners! That's kind of whorish, eh? Female: *Silence* Focus: I know we've done the whole, "How many have you slept with" thread before, but what number do you hear from a person and think, "Wow, that's too much." Or does it even matter? Alt Focus: Ever met someone who was decidedly in the "whore" category? Funny stories can be told about them here. And the relevance to Ghomeshi is tangental at best. Let's not turn this into a discussion about him.
I frankly don't give a shit. Provided you're clean, don't have a vagina like a wizard's sleeve, and I don't know you to be banging every disgusting dude that showed interest, I don't care if your number is 5 or 50. I'm on record saying I'd rather date a girl who has had closer to 20 partners than one who is closer to 2-3. More likely to know their body and or be less awkward about it all. Granted there are exceptions like a girl I knew in college who was "whorish" strictly to seek validation and I don't think she even liked sex all that much as she was a notorious starfish. I once had a guy friend who said he can see absolutely no reason for anyone to have a number over 20. I tried to reason with someone in their late 20s who had been sexually active for 10 years who had 2 partners a year during that time, nothing crazy in my mind, to which he replied it was pretty skeezy. Ridiculous
Alt Focus: I have a fishing friend who is a whore, he travels frequently to South America with the sole purpose of having sex with as many girls as possible. It typically goes like this, he finds girls on line and sets up dates with them, so usually he sets up 6-7 dates and then books 6-7 different hotels so he does not stay in the same place 2 nights in a row so his previous night date can't find him, the girls show up around 3pm, he gives them a gift like lotion or perfume, takes them for drinks and dinner then back to his room where he takes as many naked pics as he can and then bangs them, then he tries to get the girl to bring her friends in for a party and more naked pics. The girls are dismissed when he gets tired of them and in the morning he changes hotels and starts over. When I first heard this I called bullshit but was quickly rebuffed when he decided to write a daily log including pics and email it to me daily. Every summer I go to San Felipe for a fishing trip, the night before we leave some of us go to a club where there are naked girls, in Mexico the tittie bar is really a whore house, my friend always procurs one for an hour and takes her to his hotel room where he and the guy staying with him each take a turn along with a lot of pics and if he ever offers to show them to you, take a pass.
Focus: Maybe it's more about how the number came to be than the volume itself, though I'm going to go ahead though and say 1000 would make you a whore. Alt-focus: You know that lady cop the Red Hot Chili Peppers were talking about in Sir Psycho Sexy? I went to college with her and bet I could bribe my way out of a ticket today by offering the right pleasure. She banged so many dudes in college her vagina was like a was like a party bus hopping from frat to frat.
A whore is any girl who sleeps with two more guys than the number of guys she slept with before she slept with me.
Online dating and residual issues from five years of monogamy have led to me being quite a slut. I could probably not sleep alone for the rest of the month. How many? Who the fuck cares anymore? A new one for me is "poly" or girls who are in open relationships. I have been with one and it's been fascinating so far to see how that dynamic evolves. Maybe I am just a heathen bound to die from AIDS, but at dating in your thirties, I don't know or care about "the number". Be attractive, honest and confident and the rest will work itself out. Besides I can't get mad at you for things that I do.
It's not the number I can be offended by, it's the attitude and motivation behind it. If someone is doing it just to "fuck a lot of sluts" or whatever, it displays a moral emptiness I find unattractive.
I don't think a number denotes 'whore.' There are girls that I enjoyed sex with that others might deem 'whores' but there are several things about me that lead me to enjoying the company of women that others call 'whores.' For instance, I like when I don't have to jump through a gazillion hoops to have sex with a girl. If she likes the idea of being with me physically, and I like the idea of being with her physically, then cool, let's do it. I don't need a bunch of societally imposed courtship bullshit to get naked. If she doesn't either, so much the better. I like a girl that knows what she wants in bed, and is willing to guide/tell me. I want her to enjoy the experience. I don't want to sit there having to ask every three seconds 'is this ok?' 'Can I touch your boob?' 'Why is your husband calling?' I don't want sex to necessarily be tied to some greater emotional connection. Sometimes I want to have sex for physical gratification. Sometimes I want to be nasty with a chick. Sometimes I want it to be more passionate and sweet. I find that girls that others call 'whores' tend to be the same way. In short, girls that are 'whores' are way more sexually compatible with what I want in bed. If that makes them 'whores' in the eyes of others, so be it. I like 'whores.'
This kind of reminds me of a joke, What's the difference between a bitch and a whore? A whore will fuck anyone, a bitch will fuck anyone but you. Similar to some of the other responses, I don't care about the number. At this point in my life it doesn't matter unless she has the herp or something else that can't be fixed (that's bad luck, not necessarily her being a whore). The only thing I really care about is that none of my close friends have been with her first. That just seems awkward. I remember when I was a lot younger thinking anyone who had been with 5-10 partners was a slut. Oh the stupidity of youth. I would agree with those who said the reason behind sleeping with people would have a lot to do with what I think about it. Also VI touched on something that I think is important. Girls who know what they want and aren't shy about talking about it are easier to hang out with because it's not some sort of dance around sex. In that they are more fun because generally you have to be less careful about what you say and or do, they don't seem to get offended as easily. I'm not sure I'm saying that exactly what I mean but hopefully its close enough.
I would never begrudge a woman for her past sexual partners. Whether its 1 or 100, its really none of my business and I have no right to pass judgement on it. The only time I'd call a woman a whore is if she cheats on her partner or is, by the literal definition of the word, a whore working a corner.
I've never cared how many partners a girl has had, just as long as she's clean. As for the whore qualification, outside of calling a girl dirty names while doing it (assuming she likes being called names, and I find most do), I think of it as a mental/confidence/personality thing. Like if she fucks a lot of guys cuz she finds it fun, all good. If she feels like her only worth comes from putting out, or the only way she can get a guy interested is by fucking, then...well I'm not sure whore is even the right word, I just kinda feel bad for her. I knew a guy who would qualify as a whore. We were maybe 21 at the time and he had been with over 50 girls already. The crazy thing was, he legitimately did not care what they looked like -- at all. He just wanted pussy. As in, literally their vagina. His joke was that he was on a quest to find one that went sideways and said he didn't care much for blowjobs. Dude was average looking, and could charm, but it almost didn't matter because he would just stay out at the bars until he found anyone with a front hole who was willing. He could be completely sober and would happily take home the fattest chick just because she was putting out a vibe. Then go back to the bars and find another. He also said he never wore a condom unless she demanded. So yeah, total whore in my books. Oh that reminds me of a mimbo I went to college with. Could pick up girls easier than anyone I've met. He even had a strategy on weekend nights when he didn't feel like going out where he would drive to the bar at closing time and ask hot girls who were looking for cabs if they wanted a free ride instead. If they weren't down to hook up, he'd take them home and go back to the bar. One time he had a threesome out of it. Dude was dumber than spit, but damn did he pull hot ass. EDIT: In the spirit of equality, I will tell the story of a girl who maybe qualifies as a whore, mostly because the post-script was so odd to me. We met online, flirted a bunch, was obvious she was looking for sex. All good. Take her to a hockey game, we walk back to her place, drink more till really late, then head to her room. Start fooling around and she says she's on her period. I already thought it was strange, given she was obviously looking for sex, that she would agree to go out when she had her period. But whatever, figured I'd still get a beej. And I did, only it was the roughest, most aggressive face-fucking beej I've ever had, all following her cues (things like 'go harder', when I was already going as hard as I ever have)...three-and-a-half times over the next six hours. So that was nice. And when I left the next morning I said, knowing she wasn't looking to date, that we should hang out again so I could make it up to her. She said sure, but never replied to my texts or contacted me again. Like all she wanted was for a guy to aggressively fuck her face and that's all. Outside of grinding on me in her underwear, and kissing a bit, I guess, she got zero stimulation and was totally fine with it. She was basically a slut angel from whore heaven.
I don't know if I would call her a whore, but I once knew a girl who lost her virginity freshman year of college, and managed to sleep with 136 guys by the time she graduated. She was in a relationship for 6 months, but the rest were not serious. This was by her own calculation and I didn't ask what she defined as sex. I say I wouldn't call her a whore because this wasn't a fact that defined her. She was a double major math and biology who finished both programs in 4 years and still managed to go out every weekend. She just happened to sleep with a wide array of men.
I maintain one simple fact about whoredom: it's sex you have in a quest for self-worth, rather than sex you have because you love it. Ergo, a person who slept with two people because they were trying to fill the void inside their soul is a whore. A person who has slept with 100 people because they wanted to is not. Which is why my man is a whore, and I'm the greatest.