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You're so vain. You probably think this thread is about you

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Guy Fawkes, Jun 21, 2010.

  1. Stealth

    Stealth
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    Women that do this do it just as much to compete with , impress, gain status over and intimidate other women than impress or attract men.
     
  2. dixiebandit69

    dixiebandit69
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    HAHAHAHAHAHA! What the hell is the deal with washing/waxing cars (with the exception of cars that are driven in places that snow/have salted roads)? It's just going to get dirty again. I haven't "washed" (with soap, waxing it afterwards) any vehicle I've owned in about 7 years. The last time I did, it was when I was selling a truck, and I wanted it to look "extra purty" because I know that some people cream themselves over that, and I wanted the highest price I could get.
    Otherwise I just make sure that there is no mud on the wheel-wells/ undercarriage, and that there is no mud/bird shit/etc on the body or glass.
    I laugh at people like you who are anal about washing your car, and then it rains the day after.
    I pride myself on how well maintained my car is (IE: the stuff you can't see). My car runs like fucking gangbusters because I maintain it well with the best parts possible.
    Anyway, no hard feelings man, I just think what you are doing is a waste of time.

    Focus: I have a really nice ass. I have been hearing this since my late teens (one girl I was seeing recently wanted me to post in the booty thread. She didn't know how it works on here.), from women and men. It protrudes from my body profile, but it isn't fat, saggy, or too big. I used to wear tight pants to accentuate it, but tight pants aren't really feasible for anyone who moves around a lot, so I just wear Dickies work pants now, but thanks to my body's proportions, my ass still sticks out and attracts attention.
    My ex-wife used to call me "bubble butt."
    I have hazel eyes that supposedly have psychedelic patterns in them. I get lots of compliments about them.
    I have really big, white teeth and a nice smile in general. They can make me look attractive or threatening.
    I'm tall, but not so tall that it is an inconvenience.
    I'm not fat. I cannot be thankful enough for this.

    I wasn't aware of these traits until women pointed them out to me; prior to that, I had really low self esteem because I was "different" and mocked about it (I was the only white kid in a school system full of latinos).

    But the thing I am most vain about isn't one of my own physical features; it is a sort of passive vanity: I am most vain about my son.
    He looks like me, has many of the same ideosynchrasies and mannerisms that I do, and he looks up to me.
    This pisses off my ex-wife to no end, and she sometimes calls him my "trophy son" (because I always brag about him).
    He really is an awsome kid; his fontanell (soft spot on a baby's head) closed up in less than 3 months, he started walking at 10 months, learned exceptionally fast (sometimes for the worst; child safety locks didn't mean jack shit to him), and he has always been really strong and ambitious, and has grown faster than all of his cousins.
    It almost makes me high when I hear people say "Oh my god, he looks just like you;" or "You two walk exactly the same."
    I think of him as the new model that makes me obsolete.

    EDIT: Also, my son has "my" butt. My ex-wife pointed that out as soon as he could walk.
     
  3. Chellie

    Chellie
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    Disturbed

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    My eyebrows. I have the biggest purtiest blue eyes you've ever seen, but instead of being obsessed with them, I must have the brows keeping them perfectly framed at all times. There is not ONE errant brow hair on my face. The arch is mathematically precise, and damn it, it's exquisite.
     
  4. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    I'm 32 years old, but look about 20. I am fond of that.

    My eyes. My optometrist says they're the colour amber (traffic light yellow) which is an extremely rare colour, and girls have always lost their shit over them. *Bat Bat*...swooooon......

    Whenever I get my hair cut, it gets huge compliments because of it's bulletproof thickness and texture. I have what you would call "Anchorman hair". The lions of the field have the manes to match, I guess.

    I can also grow a kick-ass Sonny Crockett-esque five o'clock shadow perfectly without grooming.
     
  5. Robert

    Robert
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    Should still be lurking

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    My hair. I check it and notice how straight it is. Yes, it's true, I care that much about my hair.
     
  6. Dyson004

    Dyson004
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    My hair. I have my father's thick Vietnamese hair. I wore it longer when I was in elementary school, and then I rocked a short buzz cut from the beginning of high school til November of last year when I let my hair grow back out. I'm not gonna lie- I wash my hair with three different types of shampoo. There's a method to it though. Asian hair gets greasy, the first shampoo strips the grease, the 2nd takes care of any dandruff, and the 3rd make my hair softer (allegedly).

    I got a lot of reps when I mentioned I predominantly date black chicks wanting to know how I got them. A sizable amount of the booty I've gotten started off with the chick wanting to run her hands through my hair, even when it was short. Chicks would sit behind me in high school just to rub my head and feel my hair.
     
  7. CaptainHook

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    Besides going to the gym and feeling vain about that kind of shit, I'd have to say my speaking voice.

    I must have been complimented on it a thousand times. Mostly by women, but men also compliment every once in a while.

    Its apparently distinctive, powerful, and low. And I'm not a huge guy, nor am I a singer - just genetics, I suppose.

    Oh, but I still don't like the sound of it on recordings.
     
  8. carpenter

    carpenter
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    Disturbed

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    I'm vain about my work. It doesn't matter if I install crown moulding, hang a door or window. That's the best work mortal eyes will ever behold. As far as my appearance? I shower and brush my teeth. I use whatever is on sale, soap wise. Conditioner? I know some women who use it. I like jeans and t-shirts. This whole thread reeks of narcissism. I know that's the whole point, but sometimes a bunny rant is what's needed.
     
  9. pincinelly

    pincinelly
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    I'm good looking, tall, smart and funny. No jokes.
     
  10. scotchcrotch

    scotchcrotch
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    Same here. I've been told I should do radio a few times.

    I get hit on a fair amount, even after I stopped working out and gained a few pounds.

    It's nice.
     
  11. 31stday

    31stday
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    Blue eyes for sure.

    I'd I've gotten compliments on them from about 70% of the women I've ever actually talked to for extended periods of time. Other than that, I'm skinny I guess?
     
  12. TX.

    TX.
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    The Mad Pooper

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    I'm so vain about my eyes that I refuse to get glasses even though I desperately need them and will be reading a TON over the next 4 years. Also, I borderline obsess over my bangs, eyebrows and eye makeup because I like my eyes and (I'll admit) I like when people compliment them. I have dark brown hair and blue eyes...like others have said, that gains a bit of attention in North America. I know this is sick.
     
  13. Mike Ness

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    I also forgot to mention I'm vain about my giant cock. Before I was married I would try and lay it on women's legs while we were talking so they could just marvel at it.

    I also had a pair of elephant underwear which enabled me to put my unit in the trunk portion of the garment, always got a ton of attention.

    My best trick was I would stand up in a bar or restaurant and exclaim "Crap I sat in gum!" At which point everyone would look at my nether region to see my giant exposed bird.

    Just kidding of course, although one of my college roommates had a giant hog stuffer I told him he should break it out whenever he could.

    P.S, I really did do the sat in gum trick, although I would usually just let my balls out. This is also referred to "hanging brains."
     
  14. no use for a name

    no use for a name
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    I wrote a long thing about being good looking, but it was stupid and not funny. To summarize: I'm vain about being good looking an ripped.

    Trying to get girls as a good looking guy is 1000x easier than being ugly. I have a couple below average looking buddies who can flirt just as well as me, but they have to try so hard. I can smile at a girl from across a room, and I'm in. Not to mention that in professional and social situations I find that people, even dudes, are much more drawn to me and more likely to cater to me than the ugly folk of the world. Also, I work out maybe once a week, I eat more tacos and pizza than is reasonable, and I crush mountains of Bud heavy on the regular. Yet I still have rippling muscles and a six pack. Genetics rule. Thanks mom and dad!

    Yes, I'm superficial. I would go into a deep depression if something tragic were to happen that changed either of the above scenarios.
     
  15. Supertramp

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    My style and my quick-wit. I rarely demonstrate either on TiB but those are the only two things about me that I'm 100% confident about in any social setting; I won't be poorly dressed and I won't ever lack something to contribute to any conversation about anything.

    I think I'm good looking and whatnot but that's different, everybody has insecurities about "looks". I'm tremendously vain about my style and my intelligence/wit.
     
  16. Rob4Broncos

    Rob4Broncos
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    Ever since I discovered that women go apeshit for the V-shape under a guy's abs (example here), I've been a lot less shy about going shirtless at pools and beaches. I've never been terribly defined (other than having cut biceps, regardless of how skinny I've been), but that little cut below my abdomen almost acts as a "hit it here!" sign for girls.

    The only other thing I'm terribly vain about is my drive to get what I want, particularly when met with constant disapproval from others. It's not something I grew to have until the last couple of years. I guess you could say it was the biggest positive effect from being exposed to Tucker Max's writing. Growing up I was very meek, and wouldn't strongly pursue what I wanted, usually because of disapproval from others. Now, I take great pride in going balls-out to get what I want, such as a career that I would kill to have, even though it has nothing to do with my current major. It's taught me that it can be very good not to always play it safe.
     
  17. McSmallstuff

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    My avatar is the best avatar on all of TiB!!!
     
  18. taste_my_rainbow

    taste_my_rainbow
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    My teeth. I never had braces because I didn't need them. Two Christmases ago, I had bleaching trays made so they're always sparkly white. I floss like a demon too. It makes me feel good every time my dentist tells me that my teeth should be in a textbook. The pic is of the molds they took to make my trays. (and yes I'm short two molars, I had them removed with my wisdom teeth for reasons that are none of your business)
     

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  19. Dcc001

    Dcc001
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    New Bitch On Top

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    I have some of the thickest hair you'll ever see. I've had one hair dresser ask me if I was a mulatto (I didn't realize people still use that term), and every person who has ever cut it has faltered when they've run their hands through it and said something like, "Oh...well, we'll have to thin it first."

    My eyes are my best feature. They're a funny shade of green that can look blue sometimes or grey others.

    Lastly, and I have my mother to thank for this, I tan like an Indian. This kid can be on the beach in the surf for three days of uninterrupted sun on the island of Crete without sunscreen, and not be bothered at all. I don't burn, and I tan fucking black. I know that the experts say I should wear sunscreen, but I'll deal with the repercussions in a few decades.
     
  20. Trakiel

    Trakiel
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    Call me Caitlyn. Got any cake?

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    Ok, now you have to tell. What possible reason could exist that would lead you to say getting your molars removed are "nobody's business"? Hell, even if a guy said, "yes, I'm short my bottom ribs, but I had them removed for reasons that are none of your business" I could probably figure it out, but I'm seriously at a loss in this instance. Maybe I just don't have a very vivid imagination?

    Focus: Honestly, I can't really think of anything I'm vain about. Proud of? Sure. But nothing that comes to mind that I would call vanity.