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You're so vain. You probably think this thread is about you

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Guy Fawkes, Jun 21, 2010.

  1. Guy Fawkes

    Guy Fawkes
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    Vanity. It's something that affects 99% of the population as far as I'm concerned.

    From women with nice breasts and ultra low cut tops to guys wearing a size too small shirt to show off the guns and everything in between.

    Focus: What are you vain about? &/or what extreme cases of vanity have you witnessed?
     
  2. Luke 217

    Luke 217
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    I can't just pick one thing. Cannot.be.done. Everything about me screams perfection. I get mistaken for Ryan Reynolds every day, and its annoying because I look a lot more like Brad Pitt than Reynolds. I understand though. I'm so pretty that when I look in the mirror I do a double take.

    How did I get this perfect body you ask. Let me tell you. It doesn't just happen. I used to work out everyday. Someday's two a days. Three-a-days on the Sabbath, because trust me, God hates a pussy. But,,,, I'm not allowed in the gym anymore, because no one else can work out when I'm using all the weights. Its probably just as well though, two weeks ago I squatted so much my spotter prolapsed his anus.
    So I had no choice but to hire a trainer and have him help me. But I know so much about lifting that I ended up teaching him a thing or two, and finally I was like, "dude I'm paying you to help me train, and all you do is stand around trying to hide the boner in your biker shorts. Do something. Go bring me 6 more plates bitch. I'm gonna do curls now."


    I was so worried that I was gonna start look too big, so I took up running to lose some of that muscle mass. Let me tell you something dudes, that faggot that ran the first marathon in Greece and then dropped dead is a straight ass pussy. Marathon Schmarathon. I run marathons for breakfast and shit a cancer walk-a-thon before lunch.
    The only thing that creases me about running is that I just bought an armband case for my Ipod a week ago, and guess what. The elastic doesn't fit around my barbed wired guns. I'm forced to wear it like a wrist watch instead.
    Its hard to even find clothes that fit me too. I mean for chrissakes shoes don't even fit me. That's how much muscle I have. My feet have muscles. I gotta tie my shoes with coat hangers.
    I know I sound like I'm bitching about being perfect, but its hard to be complimentary about anything when you're pinnacle of evolution. You can't look uphill when your on top of the mountain.

    I do have real problems though. For example its hard for me to have goals. Think about it. How can you have goals when you're perfect? What's my goal gonna be. Be even cooler?
    Plus, even if I did have goals, they'd be pointless since nothing is out of my grasp.

    So to answer the focus,,, I'd have to go with my baby blue eyes.
     
  3. kuhjäger

    kuhjäger
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    In the states my eyes have gotten me more tail than I can count. The girls go nuts over them, and they let me put my nuts near them.

    Then I lived in Europe, and it seemed like everyone had blue eyes. I was nothing special, and had to use my wit and charm to get by.
     
  4. jennitalia

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    I sometimes get distracted with these things attached to my chest. Also, I frequently look in the mirror for prolonged periods of time.
     
  5. Luke 217

    Luke 217
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    Wait. Are you talking about Arabian Goggles?<<<I don't know how to post nsfw pics, but don't click if you're at work. Because its a beanbag pulled taunt like a fruit bat wing placed neatly over the bridge of a woman's nose with the man jewels placed perfectly in her ocular cavities.
     
  6. effinshenanigans

    effinshenanigans
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    My widow's peak.
    I've got a receding hair line. Couple that with a widow's peak and it looks like I've got a spear coming down from the crown of my skull. I run the razor up there to flatten it out a bit so I don't look like Eddie Munster.
     
  7. scotchcrotch

    scotchcrotch
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    Fuck women with nice tits, figuratively and literally.

    Honey, you're not wearing that extra low-cut top because you get overheated. It's because you want attention.

    So take the good with the bad. You'll get attention, but don't discriminate
     
  8. rbz90

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    I have fairly dark features such a darker hair and olive skin. My eyes however are a very light color so it contrasts. People in N. America notice that shit constantly while people back home are pretty used to it. I don't know if I've ever been laid specifically because of that, but i'm sure it's helped once or twice.
     
  9. Pink Candy

    Pink Candy
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    My hair. It's red. I look good as a natural redhead. I'm yet to meet a man that doesn't find a hot redhead irresistible.

    Definitely my favorite sin.
     
  10. lust4life

    lust4life
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    Clothes. My wardrobe is predominantly Polo RL mostly due to having a relative who works for him so I can take advantage of her discount and I like the style, comfort and quality of most of his clothes and I just like "dressed down" to be a little more "dressed up."
     
  11. Guy Fawkes

    Guy Fawkes
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    Clothes.

    I'm a clothes whore and I'm fine with it. I have a friend who works as a personal shopper/stylist for a few professional athletes and hot shot bankers that I let shop for me. She basically replaces my wardrobe every season.

    While I'll wear a t-shirt with holes to mow the lawn or fish I won't be caught dead in a polo or dress shirt with a collar that's a little limp or has any marks on it if I'm going out or working. First impressions are the most lasting impression and as they say, women go crazy for a sharp dressed man.
     
  12. Mike Ness

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    My hair. I'm thirty four years old and I feel like I have been losing my hair for like five years now, somehow I'm holding on strong but it's definitely thinning. This makes me furious for two reasons:

    1. My dad and both grandfathers had excellent heads of hair. Seriously my dad looks like a fucking senator with his thick, lush hair.

    2. All the damn bosley, propecia, and rogaine commercials make me think that I should give it a shot. I mean why the hell not?

    Some of the movie stars drive me nuts, honestly Brad Pitt has had like 22 different hair styles in the past ten years, I've had one. I'm not at the comb over point yet but I absolutely strategically place hair in certain parts of my head.

    If the vanity genie came to me I would wish for a full head of hair. I have an athletic built, good teeth I just need the dew.
     
  13. Hoosiermess

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    I'm also going hair. My body is far from perfect and I've accepted that. What I have not yet accepted is that my once very thick blonde hair is now allowing the top of my head to get sunburnt. Luckily it doesn't look like its thinning yet.....so maybe nobody else has noticed.
     
  14. toddus

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    Are city gardeners guilty of vanity for growing flowers in public space? Is a child smiling to brighten up you day guilty of vanity? When God creates beautiful blue lakes that reflect the mountains like a mirror guitly of vanity?

    My showing off the guns has nothing to do with vanity. It is simply an a selfless act to bring a bit more beauty into the world. My arms often go cold and sun ravaged dammit.

    Hater.
     
  15. LindseyBluth

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    My skin. I use Lubriderm lotion every day, year-round. My skin feels like a newborn baby. I am very careful about my face as well. I take my makeup off every night, and I use Proactiv every day, twice a day plus moisturizer. Anyone who touches me says I have the softest skin they have ever felt.
     
  16. ssycko

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    God, I'm so glad I don't view my body in the same way you neanderthals do. All of you, so obsessed you'll spend an hour in the mirror and then spend the next 8 checking out how you look in any reflective surface you pass by. "Oh, my biceps are so rippling, oh my skin is so soft, oh my breasts are so great I have three of them." Shame on you all, and I thank the maker that I was born with such an astute perception and knowledge of the world that I never feel the need to fellate myself in an attempt to make my accomplishments in the world seem a tiny bit less insignificant. Simpletons.
     
  17. shegirl

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    I know this sounds weird but shoes. I spend a decent amount of money on them and I have a lot of shoes. I have all different styles of them ranging from my love of boots to my almost equal, love of slingbacks heels in the summertime.

    My friends and family compliment me on them often and, mostly in the checkoutline, strangers (other women) do too. Just last night I had went to my cousins B-Day party and was wearing my newest purchase, my aunt commented on how cute they were and that she liked them shortly after I arrived.
     
  18. Chirpy

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    Bunny?

    But you do bring up a good point. Not all vanity is about the physical. Lots of it occurs in the mental stage, having to be the smartest in the room, the most moral, the one with the most insight. Yes, vanity doesn't have to be physical at all.

    That said, I'm vain about my hair. I'm a brunette and now that I'm a certain age, the greys are starting to come out more and more. Since my hair is so dark, I notice every single one of them. I used to be dilligent in literally plucking them from my head but if I contnued to do that now, I'd be bald in patches. Ugh. I can't stand the silver twinkle if I look in the mirror while driving or that one little piece that stands out in a picture. I have a little tub full of products that will help cover the little fuckers and I'm willing to try just about anything. I figure if my skin still looks young, I'm not letting the greys give me away. Hell no.
     
  19. Kubla Kahn

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    How old are you people jeez...


    Im kind of vain about how young I look. All I have to do is shave twice a week and I go from 25 to 17 all over again. I don't go out of my way to look younger but I do like that I can blend in with college freshman each year. Unless I start going bald or somehow grow a decent beard Ill probably look like a teenager well into my 30s. I wouldn't say Im vain about my hair, I hate my hair, it is a nasty brillo pad puff ball if I don't gel it. Even when I do it is unstyleable. I am envious of people who can do what ever they want with their soft straight hair.

    I'll admit, I did fall prey to the whole, checking myself out in the mirror more, when I started working out hard a couple of years ago. I had totally vain goals for working out, I wanted to looked ripped in "The Situation" sense of the word. Strength goals were just ways to keep my going to the gym. Ive since regrown my gut and haven't been able cut it back even though I still lift. Still it felt nice to see a positive change in my appearance. This was also fueled by many more compliments people started giving me. Shit is it so wrong to feel good about yourself every now and again?? Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit.
     
  20. JoshP

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    Honestly, my vehicles. I try and keep my truck and motorcycle as shiny, clean, and looking new as possible. My motorcycle is black, so it looks like absolute shit if not kept up with. I am buying a boat soon, and that I will be super anal retentive about keeping clean, and water spots off of. I just think if a person keeps their car looking like shit, then their house and general way of life is probably kept the same.

    On myself as far as getting ready in the morning, shaving my face and trimming my goatee. My girlfriend bought me this Shave System so it does take time to use all the steps, however it works fucking GREAT! Other than that, its slap on some cologne, spike the hair with gel, put on some nice clothes and out the door.