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You're So Mansome

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by audreymonroe, Apr 25, 2012.

  1. audreymonroe

    audreymonroe
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    The most powerful cervix... in the world...

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    I will be seeing this movie:



    It seems like it'll be funny and entertaining, if not particularly rife with great philosophical conclusions, like we would accomplish.

    Focus: What makes men manly?

    (Level of seriousness is up to you.)
     
    #1 audreymonroe, Apr 25, 2012
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  2. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    ...gotcha.

    SO YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT IT TAKE TO BE A MAN, NANCY BOY!?!?!?? Listen here, fag...

    - You must have the ability to snatch the remote control from any female in the room because the careless vagina might break it.

    - You must drink a bottle of Cutty Sark and pick fights at every guy who bumps into you accidently at the bar. This extinuishes your nagging immature insecurities, inability to maintain a healthy relationship or blatantly repressed homosexual rage that keeps tapping you on the shoulder like a gabby Italian guy standing behind you in a line.

    - You must punch and kick any and all vending machines as hard as you can when they rip you off. Somebody must pay, why not a stationary object that doesn't have thought or pain?

    - You must take full credit along with the team you root for when they win a game. THEY didn't win. WE won, motherfucker! Where's my five bucks, bitch? Make it rain!

    - You must take a double cheeseburger, spill bacon all over it, and before you take the first bite say "I wonder if there's a method for keeping chili inside this thing?"

    - You master the timing of going to the bathroom to piss exactly when the waitress is showing up with the round that's your turn to buy. Can't have Gator Arms Syndrome when you're not actually there!

    - You must have the ability to pose in a photo wearing an unearned armed forces dogtag, a popped collar, a greasy forehead that deflects laser beams, sunglasses (indoors), tan-in-a-can while pulling your shirt up to show your abs and holding a bottle of Grey Goose in the other hand like a bowling trophy and STILL managing to make a face showing how fucking cool you are.

    You must have what it takes to be able to yell lewd things at women from your passing car and NEVER acting on them. Ever.

    You must grind girls' asses from behind without permission on dance floors, and follow them around when they casually try move away from you. If she has a guy friend that interferes, you will sucker-punch him in the throat. You are the King Of Spring Break. Hero.

    You will not refrain from speaking in a purely condescending tone and attitude to every driver of every cab you ride in with your friends.
     
  3. CharlesJohnson

    CharlesJohnson
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    Hairy knuckles.

    Wiping no more than three times under any circumstance.

    Instead of thoroughly shaking the last drops of piss out of your dick so they don't end up on your pants, you zip up lest someone accuse you of being a homosexual. Yet...

    Group showers at the gym.

    Shaving your face only, allowing your ass and crotch to resemble a rain forest of black, scraggly burnt match ends. This also applies to the unibrow, or men with caterpillar eyebrows. In the elderly, ear growth is a sign of virility, wisdom, and a learned life.

    Drinking any beer so long as you can loudly crumple the can.

    Being apprehensive of minorities, alone or in a group, even if you have friends other than caucasians.

    Phlegm. spit as much as possible, especially when drunk.

    Take your shirt off at any provocation to fight, especially if you started it because fuck that guy he bumped into you and that girl shouldn't be with him anyway.

    Biting into an onion before you kiss a woman. Carry an onion with you at all times, just in case.

    Never let anyone know you enjoy anything except beer and blowing your entire paycheck at the strip club where you sit under a laser light wearing sunglasses, slumped in a cum stained chair, throwing singles at a Romanian sex slave with a C-section scar that lights up like a pale, shining grimace in the strobe light.

    That one blackhead on your back that gets f'n huge.

    Being brown out drunk, getting your ass kicked by a one-legged drunk douche, then punching dents in my car because you're "not a fucking man at all!" in between tears and spit hurling curses about your father. Bonus points if you're 300 pounds, bald, don't own a belt, and manage in your inebriation to still be a completely delusional solipsist to proclaim you always saw yourself as my father figure.

    Farts. Anywhere. Any time.

    Ahhhhh, man hood. Can you smell it?
     
  4. Kubla Kahn

    Kubla Kahn
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    Never use pansy ass combo words like Mansome. You don't have Moobs, they are bitch tits because you are a fatt ass.





    As far as the movie, it looks funny and in the same vain as Chris Rocks doc on black women's hair. It'll be a little depressing hearing about how beards and mustaches are fucking manly (they are) and I can't grow shit even close to respectable. But hey, I do have a bear pelt between my scrotum sack and top of my ass crack. Line forms on the right.
     
  5. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    Uncanny. The shirt coming off before that fight is gayer than the entire British Navy and Fire Island on the 4th put together. Are you so tough you can't wear clothes?
     
  6. ssycko

    ssycko
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    Fixed for more manliness.
     
  7. SMUGolfer

    SMUGolfer
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    Experienced Idiot

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    Sideburns, mustache, chin beard/goatee can all be grown separately or combined into a beard. Immediate castration if hipster motives are detected.

    Ability to shit talk. Creative words are nice, 12 letter words are cool, but leaving someone stammering because of your verbal intimidation equals doggystyle sex that night.

    Ability to physically whip the "young guy running his mouth". Nobody can dispute what you just did, and 64% of the panties in the room are more moist as a result. (note: gender of panty wearer is inconsequential)

    Self aggrandizing on a popular message board spin-off.

    in my opinion though, manliness comes down to respect. Respect given and earned as a result of your actions. The most respected motherfuckers in a room are the most manly because everyone else in the room defers/knows it.
     
  8. lust4life

    lust4life
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    An appreciation for The Three Stooges.
     
  9. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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  10. dixiebandit69

    dixiebandit69
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    Okay, that's a movie that will not be playing down here in the asshole of Texas. I guaran-fucking-tee you.

    Anyway, onto the focus: Ability to hold one's liquor.
     
  11. Aetius

    Aetius
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    Women. Anyone who says differently is deluding themselves.
     
  12. PewPewPow

    PewPewPow
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    [​IMG]

    Wielding a chainsaw makes you manly.
     
  13. gtg2k

    gtg2k
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    Experienced Idiot

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    Being a tough SOB that gets up, no matter how brutal an asswhipping, and saying "Bring it on!" Figuratively and/or literally speaking.

    Also, being born with a penis.
     
  14. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    Break a pint glass over the face of any motherfucker who "makes eyes at your girl". How pretty is she NOW, Jigsaw?

    Yell threats at any and all asshole fans that dare show up at the game wearing the colours of the opposing team. How DARE you walk into OUR HOUSE wearing those faggot colours. Throw popcorn and cup-whip beer foam at him until he and his family leave will tail between legs. Pussies.

    You are required to be able to photocopy your taint at work without being caught by fellow co-workers.

    Make sure you offer creepy massages to any and all not-so-willing girls you are trying to hook up with at your place.

    Do push-ups in between drinks at house parties. Maybe punch a hole in the sheet rock to show that you're all business.
     
  15. Juice

    Juice
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    Moderately Gender Fluid

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    Wearing Tapout and Affliction shirts and pretending that you do MMA.

    But it can be better summed up with a quote:

    "What makes a man, Mr. Lebowski? Is it being prepared to do the right thing, no matter the cost? Isn't that what makes a man?"

    "Sure that and a pair of testicles."
     
  16. The Village Idiot

    The Village Idiot
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    Porn Worthy, Bitches

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    I try to live up to the following, even if I fall short at times:

    A man does what's right, especially when there is a cost to him for doing so.

    A man does what he wants, and pays the consequences without complaint.
     
  17. Trakiel

    Trakiel
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    Call me Caitlyn. Got any cake?

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    Hasn't this been addressed already?

     
    #17 Trakiel, Apr 26, 2012
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  18. silway

    silway
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    Paying your bills, keeping your word, making hard decisions. Though those are just, basically, being an adult.

    Being a man? As distinct from a woman? Writing your name in the snow without moving your legs.
     
  19. Blue Dog

    Blue Dog
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    Wieners.
     
  20. sartirious

    sartirious
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    Disturbed

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