Inspired by the "I Only Bang Athletes!" thread, this quote caught my eye: "Also, is it just me or is it hilarious how different her perception of events are than a guys. I can't tell if it's because she's crazy or because that's how girls actually see stuff like that." I find it interesting, because although I think the Duke chick was nuts to make a Powerpoint, complete with full names and pictures, I found the way she described each guy/event to be fairly similar to how I would recall a hookup. I wouldn't break it down quite so definitively as she did (Memorable Moments/Pros/Cons/etc), and her recollection for detail is nothing short of remarkable given that booze was involved, but on the whole, yeah, that's kind of how I think. So the focus is: How do you rate your sexual encounters? What makes someone good or bad (let's try to stay away from generic 's/he made me cum' lines) in bed? Alt Focus: Share your craziest hookup story.
If it lasts more than 5 minutes, and I get off, it's a 5. If it lasts more than half an hour and I get off a few times, it's a 7. If a guy can dominate me without being creepy about it, make me feel like his personal fuck toy while still making it clear that my pleasure counts too, we're in the 9-10 range. Bonus quarter points for each time I squirt.
For me I'd say it's more about the level of interest I have in the sex. With my most recent ex I was always paying attention to what she was doing, how she was enjoying it and would always be ready to go for seconds almost immediately after first time was done. With the girl I've been hooking up with recently I kind of just have the sex to get off, not really focused as much on the actual act. A lot of this has to do with her unwillingness to give me head two times in a row when she got tired from sex, and he overall lack of attention to me. Before this girl I had been with a few others and never really had sex that I would consider bad, but with her I find my mind wandering all over just waiting to finish. (The fact that I continue to have sex with her is an entirely different story)
How hot she is, what she lets me do (+ points for anal, facial, etc.), and how chaste/promiscuous she was before she met me (obviously the chaster the better, mega minus points for having hooked up with any guy I know).
For someone with the options I have, I'm a picky bastard. For me girls get points for being open minded, self-confident, acts interested, active and connected. This is what I mean by the last three. A girl acts interested if she somehow demonstrates that she wants to have sex with me, instead of making it look like a matter or resignation (which sounds really bad). I've had girls who say things like "you can have sex with me if you want". To me, that's a turn off. It's like saying "I don't care, do what you want. My brain's going to go off doing something I find worthwhile while you use my body as a fuck toy." Active means she's not a starfish. If you're going to fuck someone; fuck them. Lying there and just taking it with barely a sign they're actually engaging in intercourse is insulting. And by connected I mean that they're having mentally having sex with me; not treating it like a masturbation session I just happen to be in the middle of or thinking about the pool guy/Brad Pitt/whoever. I may sound like I have a vagina here, but hey, I like to be recognised as being present. Those sorts of things get the girl to a 5, or pass, mark. To get above that they have to be dirty, kinky, foul mouthed, unreserved demons on heat. Then maybe they'll get to a 7.
My only major concern is whether or not the girl likes to give blow jobs. I love me a good/average/any blowjob. If a girl likes to do them and does them because she enjoys doing it, she gets major fucking brownie points. The girls that him and haw about not liking to do it and only will do it for a brief few seconds before wanting to move on (like the Chris Rock bit) are the worst. Id rather like to know before hand if a girl is into them or not. If she doesn't then why waste major calories to get her to do something she really doesnt enjoy?
The more I respect a girl the better it is. I'm also a big fan of girls with Chellie's mindset. How I synthesize those two I have no idea, I've stopped questioning it.
This might just be the kind of guy I choose, but the longer he goes without trying to put it in my butt, the higher on the scale it is. The fact that he lasts puts him up there as well. Also, and I know this is cliche, the longer foreplay lasts, or even the longer he teases before putting it in, the better it is.
That works both ways. I can't get off just from sex unless it's amazing, and I mean a-fucking-mazing. Usually it takes a little more work for the guy than just climbing on top and going to town. All I'm asking for is a little attention to the clit...it's not too much to ask, in fact, when it comes to oral sex it doesn't take me long at all. Sorry for the rant, but I'm willing to bet that 9 times out of 10 it's not that the girl 'doesn't know how' to orgasm, it's that you're not willing to give her one. Focus: I tend to rate it by bad, eh, good, or great, there's no need to involve numbers. But in order for it to be great sex, it just takes what I mentioned above. We both have to be into it and that usually requires the switching of positions many times as well as venturing south. The best sex I've ever had lasted several hours and multiple times. The worst lasted a few minutes and that even seemed too long.
I'm just going to bring an element of girliness into the discussion, if I may. I've found that the main factor into whether or not sex is good is whether or not I have some kind of connection with the guy. I don't have to be in love with him or anything, (or even dating him, because that certainly didn't help with one guy) but I just need to feel something more for him than "I saw you from across the room at a party, you were hot, we made small talk out of politeness, and now we're banging." Probably the best time I had hooking up with someone for the first time was because we had both been waiting six years, and the anticipation slash romance-novel-esque-background made it that much hotter. A few weekends ago I simply kissed a guy I had been attracted to since Freshman year of high school and had just found out that I actually really liked as a person, and I'm still giddier about that kiss than all of my one night stands collectively. The most consistently good sex I have is with my ex-boyfriend-turned-best-friend. We've been boning for over three years and it's still good to smoking hot every time because we know exactly what the other wants, and he's one of the most important people in my life. If I'm just having sex with a guy I picked up because I feel like having sex, it tends to be in the range of forgettable to satisfactory. Even if it's good on all other scales of judgment, I never end up caring about it or them much afterwards.
I rate mine based on several factors. You get points for actually being into it instead of laying there and not doing anything. You get huge points for paying attention to what you're doing. If you can speak to me in a foreign language, that's all the better (I love speaking in a foreign language while fooling around) The best hookups I've always had involved me and the woman getting along on an intellectual level. It might sound completely stupid to some of you, but I think the chemistry just ends up making everything work more smoothly without even having to speak. You get minus points if you're a fucking prude who is close minded. I don't like doing just a few positions and then be done with it. I'm going to throw you around and have my way with you. Or I might feel like letting you take the lead sometimes. This is going to sound like the typical macho guy bullshit, but I've got a super huge sex drive. If you aren't able to go at least 3 or 4 times, then you get points taken for that too. Say what you want, but I can't fool around with a girl who doesn't do this.
Usually, I rate a girl sexually by her enthusiasm. Sure, I'm had some chicks that were not 'technically gifted,' but if they were really into it, then they rate much higher. I guess for me, I get more turned on by a chick that is enthusiastic rather than a chick that knows umpteen positions. I've fortunately had a lot of crazy hook-ups, but the one that comes to mind (no pun intended) was a chick that I didn't know very well but that I had recommended to the Judge that I had worked for. We knew each other from law school and had hung out a few times, but nothing had ever happened. So one night, we ended up getting drunk together, and she brought me back to her house. I don't know how to describe it, but she went down on me and she did this crazy thing. I don't know about most guys, but most girls that have given me a blow job tend to (and the rest of this is NSFW, by the way) go down on the shaft while you're coming. And it's fucking great, your dick is plunging in her mouth as she's coming down on your shaft. Wouldn't trade it for the world. But this chick? Wow, she reversed it. She was going up the shaft while I was orgasming. Oh. My. Fucking. God. It was the most intense thing I ever felt in my life. Shame she was so fucking crazy.
Strangely enough, I can't fool around with a girl who actually does anal. Just not my cup of tea. FOCUS: My experience, and thus the rating of the lay in question, is largely based on the kinds of sounds a partner makes. If she's moaning and panting and groaning and screaming, then she scores major points. The more primal it sounds, the hotter it is. Dirty talk ruins it for me, because no matter how much I want to believe I'm a porn star, I'm not. This is sex, not a made for TV movie. And fuck the 1-10 scale. That shit's meaningless unless it's a 1 or a 10.
Actually, I strongly disagree with this. I've had this discussion with numerous friends. I'm of the opinion that all guys want to make the girl they're with cum so hard she passes out. Even if it's a drunken one night stand; even if it's a goodbye hate-fuck and they can't stand the bitch, they still want to make her orgasm so hard she's ruined for other guys. I think it's a power thing - most guys rate their experience by how well they performed. In addition to this, guys don't have it as easy as girls do. As a chick, you can do three or four stock moves well and they'll work on the majority of guys. Men, on the other hand, might as well throw away the playbook completely with each woman they're with...no girl likes the same thing as other girls. Or they rarely do. So, given the complexity involved sometimes in getting a new girl off, added to most guy's burning desire to do so, I have to argue that if a girl isn't orgasming it's 90% her fault. The guy can't read your mind - nothing wrong with communication. Also, if you don't know how to get yourself off, how the hell is he supposed to figure it out in 20 minutes or less?
I printed this off and gave it to my wife. She demanded the above edit. I have to agree with Dcc here, every girl I've ever been with, no matter how much I did or didn't like her, I've tried to get her off. I will disagree that's it's a power thing - it's more a 'good business' thing. Let's face it, girls get cock thrown at them every single day of their life, but if you're a guy, it's very rare (unless you're a college athlete apparently) that you're getting pussy thrown at you. So when you do, you try to make the most of it because no matter what you think of her you either want a repeat performance or for her to speak well of you to other girls so on the off chance they're interested you have an in. Supply and demand. Chicks have the supply, we have the demand. I would suggest it's that simple.
As I said, it works both ways. If she's just laying there not giving any direction, verbal or physical, then it's her own fault. I do have to say that I've been with guys that have figured it out pretty quickly, as well as with a few that no matter how much direction I gave them it didn't seem to do any good. Stereotypes aside, which I'm guilty of using in my last post, I can say that I have personally experienced both sides of this. Some guys won't give up until they get you off. Other guys I've had actually refer to it as a race, one they almost always won. I didn't mean that all guys just give up as soon as they're done. I was just saying, based on the way that post was phrased as well as my own experience, that sometimes it takes a little effort to result in an orgasm. Some guys aren't willing to put forth that effort, plenty of guys are.
Jeff Foxworthy actually does a pretty funny bit about finally learning your wife's combination. "4 to the left, 19 to the right, 6 to the left, and.... you're welcome."
Say what you want, but I can't fool around with a girl who doesn't do this.[/quote][/quote] Is this post serious? You can't have normal vaginal sex? You don't like blow jobs? I get being annoyed with a girl who lies there like a corpse, but if you can't get off without sticking it in her ass that's a little weird. I'll agree with the overall point though -- the more open minded the better. Personally, I'll have to 3rd/4rth/whatever enthusiasm. It's also fun to fuck girls who can orgasm easily. There was one girl I used to date who would occasionally start squirting 30 seconds after I put it in. It made me feel awesome, but of course it's hard to call yourself skilled when it's that easy.