Your water broke: the LWDT (consider NSFW, as always)

Viking is a drunk bitch.

Yeah, whoever was talking about Niagara Falls and trying to tone it down: no. The most drunk I've ever been (same as you) was in Niagara Falls. Top 3 weekends of my life. It's an absolutely insane place.

Shit, second night in a row I'm drunk as fuck and it's awesome. I've missed this so much. Also, I love having a balcony now, yelling at people off of it is the greatest pleasure.

 

I'm in Boston in a second floor apartment with no AC right now. Anyone else currently in the area probably knows how miserable I feel right now. It's only about 75 degrees but the humidity makes it feel like 90. I want to die.

I wish I could say that I'm posting at 5 AM staying up late after an epic night of partying, but I went to bed at about 11 and woke up an hour ago because of the damn heat. Supposedly it'll be in the mid 50's tonight, I'm praying that's correct because even if it isn't I can't bail back to CT since apparently we just lost water at the house and the landlord is probably too lazy to fix it before Tuesday

Thank god I'm moving out.

 

Driving home in 90+F heat with a hangover is seriously on my top10 list of horrible. Also note to self: Stop being a good wingman and buying chicks a drink at the bar because your buddy might actually have a chance with her friend. Odds are she will still ignore it ruin it for both parties.

 

They should continue to name hurricanes weak names, like Theodore, Percival, and Nathanial. Nobody's going to be afraid of Hurricane Nathanial. He'll just up and sputter out because he's such a bitch.

 

Going to my sister's wedding rehearsal in a bit. The groom is a die-hard aggie who we can barely stand, so of course we're all showing up with UT hats, shirts, cozies, doing "hook em horns" sign in many of the wedding pics, etc.

Having proudly lived in Austin for a year, I'm fairly quick with the goat-fucking-aggie jokes, but anything the degenerates of this board can throw my way would be much appreciated.

 

This board is dead right now everyone must drinking and watching College football, I knew I liked you guys.

 

And it would be funny to hear people say, "Man, Percival really fucked shit up."

 

I don't understand your freaky Fahrenheit shit. Is 50 cool or warm? I know 90 is hot and 1 is very cold, but that's about it.

My patio furniture looks like a goddamn SWAT team turned it over in a raid. I have no idea what was going on outside the last hour, but that shit isn't light and it's thrown all the fuck over the place.

 

50 is nice cool fall evening weather that you would be able to be warm enough in a light jacket but not too hot to sit around a campfire. 75 is heavenly weather.

Yep, a bit dead here today. Currently watching some football, but getting ready to head out for Spanish themed dinner at a friend's house because he has perfected his sangria mixed with hard liquor recipe. Already planning on taking a cab home. I typically don't drunk post, but perhaps I will make an exception this evening.

 

I am profoundly bored. I am so bored I'm upgrading to Windows 7. I'm so bored I went to a kitchen supply store just to browse. Could have bought a $150 frying pan. What makes a frying pan worth so much? It better either come with blow jobs, or cook food so amazing that women who eat it will give me blow jobs. And then whenever I consider buying things from there, I remember what the last psychiatrist says: you will not start cooking better food just because you have that 8" German chef's knife. Also I don't have the space in my apartment to start storing more kitchen stuff.

Maybe time to visit the liquor store and top up my wine collection.

 

I just saw Machete, and I have to let all of you know that you must go see it or Danny Trejo and his army of migrant workers-turned vigilantes will come after you. And they don't fuck around.

Anyway, last night a buddy of mine and his new girlfriend begged me to go with them to a club because I haven't been going out much lately.
The experience reminded me of why I hate clubs and the people who patronize them.
When I used to hang out with this guy, we were trying to pick up women, but I am just not the club type. I don't dance, I don't like music so loud I can't hear anything else (except at a rock concert), and I don't like phony people.
He would practically drag me over there (probably because I had a car; he has his own now), and after awhile I just started acting like a complete asshole and fucked with people with the intention of getting kicked out.
I would:
-Dance with/hit on girls who were obviously there with another guy
-Go up to the bar and walk off with drinks without paying for them (you can only do this once or twice a weekend, or they won't serve you. The bartenders were so fucked up most of the time they didn't notice or care.)
-toss empty cups of ice of the balcony into the crowd below (plastic cups)
-I stole a flashlight from a bouncer. I just walked over to his table/ledge, grabbed it and walked off. I still have it, it's a silver Maglite. Great flashlight.
-Piss in the womens' bathroom. When I was asked,I would say "The men's room is full," or say that the toilets were overflowing in there. The security would go to check it out and I would leave and get another drink.

NONE of those shenanigans ever got me kicked out. Really.
I stopped going to clubs because it just brought out the worst in me.
Oh, and for the record, I didn't do any of that stuff last night, I was just giving examples of what I used to do. It was pretty damn boring.

 

Minus 32 and divide it by 1.5. You're welcome/

 

Just got back from my sister's wedding rehearsal. My UT hat was an unmitigated success, given that the entire groom's family is a bunch of proud aggies. I'm now blitzed.

Turns out the wedding tomorrow will only have wine and beer ("because we don't want everyone getting crazy or anything"). I have decided to bring several flasks full of whiskey and gin. One in each boot, plus another in my front pocket. I may be driving there, but it's someone else's problem to get me home.

Q: How to aggies practice safe sex?

A: They remove all the goats that kick.

 

So today was my first experience with college football tailgating. Unfortunately the game was at 3:30. This meant beating traffic and finding a good spot required getting up at about 7 in the morning. Never before have I set an alarm to go drinking. I also did not have an easygoing Friday night so I was on about 4 hours of sleep. However, in the morning all was right ith the world. It seemed like a beautiful day and there's really nothing like bbq'ing and drinking. Unfortunately was good and drunk by gametime. It also became fucking hot as shit. So I decided I'd head home and then head out again after the game, giving me some time to sober up and let the heat subside. I fell asleep and....just woke up. Everyone I know from the tailgate has called it a night and I'm still tired as shit. So fuck it I think I'll just watch some tv and drift off to sleep again.

Success?

 

Wait, you didn't go to the game? Success no.

 

Also, aren't you brown? The heat should be the least of your complaints.

 

1.8

You're welcome.

 

1.8

You're welcome.[/quote]

I knew it wasn't 1.5. Damn it.

 

Lousy weather weekend. No way for summer to go out after this hot-ass season. Thanks to two colleges this city now has close to 15,000 extra people looking to get twisted out of their heads until November.

...hands raised and Moses spoke, and the sea of popped collars parted...

Cops in London relish September, because they know that thanks to Fanshawe students they are going to get to the opportunity to be legally entitled to whomp some ass. You can take that to the bank. Once you throw empties at firefighters trying to put out the tree you lit up in flames, how do you up the ante?