I thought that we were due for a good creative humour thread around here, and what better to attack our friends at the Low Hanging Fruit Factory. This one is easy: channel one of society's most infuriating douchebags and use their sterotypes as bragging material. Like so: "Dude, you can you spot me over here? I've got some serious weight on over here and my arms are already feelin' pretty jacked. Nah, I don't play football. Although I could be a walk-on for the team. I wouldn't be able to get my pump on nearly as much if I played, though. Instead, I go the gym seven times a week, checking my myself out in mirrors indirectly while carrying around my mystery shake that looks like a rat threw up in a hobo's diarrhea puddle because blasting the quads helps drown out the sobbing in my head. Think I'll walk past the treadmills where the hot chicks are running. I'll make sure to flex and lock my arms like switchblades as I walk by, because the hopes that one of them would check me out will help simmer down my crippling insecurities. I blame my pushy ex-jock father, who still holds onto his high school football stats like they're the alpha of his job application. This installed in me a needless macho attitude and a feeling of all-around superiority over women. To drown out these guilty feelings, I binge drink with my douchebag friends and pick fights with groups that are smaller than us at bars. Anyway, time to throw more weight on the bar. Think I'll spin this 45 plate around in between my hands while carrying it to show off a little more. Fuck, I hope that bitch in the yoga shorts is watching. Wish I knew how to talk to her." Focus: Use somebody we collectively can't stand as a vessel and have it, jackals.