They just opened up a Five Guys in the city where I work a few months ago. I never really eat fast food, so it was not a big priority for me to run over there to check it out, but I've heard so much about it that it was kind of built up as the greatest thing to happen to hamburgers in the south since the first Mexican covered one with jalapenos (probably The Wife's great-cousin or something). So when The Wife had a doctor's appointment in town earlier this week and asked me to take her there, I was all for it. I don't know if it was food poisoning or a stomach virus or what (does food poisoning include a day or two with flu-like symptoms?), but I fully blame this place for making the last few days absolute friggin' HELL on The Wife and me. Fuck that place. It wasn't even worth it- Rally's even tastes better, and I don't have to spend $20 just for 2 burgers, a so-so order of fries, and two nights worth of butt-plague. And given that our house only has one bathroom, you can imagine some of the poop-walk races that were involved when the situation got REALLY dicey, and the drama involved when you ended up on the losing end of one of said races. God forbid you had to throw up- that was relegated to the backyard were you could hose it off afterwards. Anyhoo, yall drink and talk about it and stuff.
I have yet to get a fast food burger that beats Culver's. They have pumpkin shakes on the menu again and I am going to enjoy the hell out of one soon.
Twisted Root just opened up by my gym. Buffalo and game meat for the win. Fucking amazing burgers. I'm going to spend the weekend with at least one bottle of wine, if not two. Driving to see my daughter tomorrow, then making it back in town for the game.
Turns out my well water is tainted. I've been getting some stomach virus/thingies off and on for a couple of months, and my dad got really sick shortly after my folks visited a while ago, but I always signed it off to food poisoning or something like that. I got really sick a couple of days ago (as in went to the emergency room sick), and they told me to get my well tested. Sure enough, report came back today, and E Coli has moved in. Joy. Luckily I have a 750 gallon water tank which I just had cleaned and filled (for $140... who fucking knew it would be that cheap?), and am now now longer running off the well. I'll have to get it topped up every couple or three months, but at least I won't be pissing out my ass while running a fever on a regular basis. It's the little things in life.
Five Guys is fucking terrible. Everyone praises the place for being the best burger joint around, but I'd rather drink the fatty grease runoff of a George Foreman Grill than eat at Five Guys again. The food tastes worse than Mcdonalds and I felt disgustingly sick for the rest of the night. You want a great burger place? Despite the gay name, Chee Burger Chee Burger is awesome. I've only been there a few times but they have great burgers, awesome onion rings, and about 5000 different milkshake flavors. They have the whole gimmick too where if you eat their 1lb burger, you get a free t-shirt and a photo put on their wall. My cousin who could rival the Terminator in muscular size topped this challenge by eating 3 1lb burgers put together without his heart stopping.
On the other hand, I eat at Five Guys, and found the burgers to be very good, and the fries exceptional. The burger wasn't greasy at all, and the quality and taste were miles above McDonalds. To each their own, I guess. NettData, if you don't want to deal with the tank, you can have a UV system installed for few hundred bucks.
You guys must have had the 1/4% minority of the five guys franchise. I've eaten there over twenty times and the only complaint I have had was that their fries were a little bit under done. I have never had anything wrong with any of my burgers or gotten sick from them. The burgers were messy only because of the toppings I had on them, never greasy, and cooked just right. Now jimmy johns is a completely different story. Fuck that place, they put me in the hospital for a day back in college because of food poisoning. I couldn't stop throwing up for like 8 hours and lost almost all motor functions because of my dehydration.
The five guys we have near my house is pretty great. Never had a bad experience and the food is always tasty. However, I like fuddruckers a lot. There doesn't seem to be a whole lot of them. But the burgers are big and juicy and you can set it up however you want. The potato wedges are pretty fantastic as well. You can also get it in whatever size you want. 1/3 lb. 1/2 lb 2/3lb. and if you are crazy 1 lb. Honorable mention goes to SmashBurger. Always a fucking mess to eat, but the burgers are super fresh. The smash fries are delicious too. They put an olive oil and rosemary seasoning on them.
Wow, what good timing. The WDT opens only moments after UPS deliveries a shipment of wine to my doorstep. However, I think I am going to ignore the fates and take a nap instead. And on the Five Guys debate, I am not much of a fast food or burger fan, but I do like Five Guys. Sure it is messy and sloppy, but when you splurge on a burger about once per year, it is everything that you want a burger to be. I tried Smashburger last week (granted I had a chicken sandwich so I am kind of comparing apples to oranges) and wasn't impressed. Even if I didn't have the same meat, the bun and toppings were pretty underwhelming, and to me that is what often makes the sandwich.
Their chicken sandwiches leave something to be desired. I've only had one chicken sandwich and I was underwhelmed. The burgers are super greasy and delicious. I felt a new gallstone form last time.
Back in high school, we used to go to fudruckers a lot to attempt the 1lb burger. It was only at the end of the cross country season my senior year that I was able to down it. And not only did I eat it, but it had bacon, cheese, pickles, and other assorted condiments on top, followed by a basket of fries and a milkshake. I didn't feel too well after that for a couple days.
I've eaten at Five Guys once and the burger was pretty mediocre. Considering for the same amount I paid for a meal (burger, fries, drink) at Five Guys I could've gotten the same thing at Culver's plus an additional burger, I'm not going to go back. Their fries were ok, but again nothing to write home about. As long as we're on the topic of fast food, there's like one, maybe two Popeye's Chicken in my area, so it would be a trek to go there. How much better is Popeye's than KFC?
Yeah, there are a few options I'm looking into right now, and this was just the quickest and easiest right now. The tank is there for "party weekends" when all three showers are going and lots of visitors are here, so the well doesn't run dry. "Why is there sand coming out of the faucet?" isn't something you want to hear. Long term use isn't really ideal or planned.
Man. I don't think Five Guys lives up to all the hype, but to say it's terrible? The only other fast food burger joint I like more is In n Out, but I'm on the far end of the country, so I don't get to indulge all too often. Praying for nice weather this weekend. Been out of town a lot this year, and it's finally starting to cool down in South Florida. Crab dinner tonight at Rustic Inn. Garlic farts tomorrow morning. Golf on Sunday.
So what's going to happen to the well? Is there something that can be done to untaint it or are you straight fucked?
Yeah, probably not fair to judge a burger joint by the quality of their chicken sandwiches. But the fries, oh my, you were right, still thinking about those fries.
The owner's wife came in this afternoon with her dog. I just discovered that the dog shit in one of the offices. The dog has done this the past four times it's come in. Owner's wife has since left, and is not here to clean up. I can't smell the shit from my office. Do I: a) Go all super employee, grab a newspaper bag, and clean up the shit, or b) Say fuck it My dilemma: I'll look good for picking up shit, but if (read: when) this happens again, this duty will almost absolutely fall to me if she's not around and/or busy/doesn't feel like picking up shit again. What would TiB do?
I'm not a huge fan of Five Guys but I enjoy their food. I think the superior made burger is at Brown Bag Burgers...with only a few locations in Ohio though. Every time I order from their I'm never disappointed. Just deliciousness. I drank a few beers last night but still feel like I got beat over the head. Tried a dark, coffee stout at Fat Head's Brewery (Koko Nuts) I think was the name of it. 12%ABV, maybe thats why I'm moving extra slow today.
Cook-Out > Five Guys. Fact. If you aren't lucky enough to live in the NC/SC/TN area (never thought I'd write that before), then I pity the fool. Their milkshakes, it is rumored, can cure cancer. Also, I might have a job lined up for me in New York. I won't know where and when until next week, but I'm excited. It wouldn't be my first choice for my first major move of my life, but I think it'd be an awesome transition. Going from never living in a place with more than 80k to NYC will be...interesting.