In the hopefully successful thread on getting our resident cripple laid, the topic of how his first time was going to be came up. I said this: Code: A guy's first time in a pussy is like this: Code: You can't explain it, but suffice to say it's probably the best thing ever. Especially if your first time is sans condom. In swooped Durbanite to once again parlay his views on sexual encounters: Code: No, sir. I respectfully disagree. Sorry HotWheelz, but, it'll be awful. Just pray the girl knows what she's doing and doesn't try to (possibly inadvertedly) break your cock. We can't all possible have as bad luck as Durbanite. So, guys and gals... Focus: How was your first time? Were you glad you successfully gave away your V-card, or after the deed was done did you desire a do-over? (Alliteration is fun!) I was going to add a poll with the options: 1. A double rainbow 2. Mediocre/ not worth the hype 3. Durbanite had a better first time than I did 4. I wish my first time was with Chater but I guess only mods can add polls, so if this is bumped gogo gadget sex poll. and WHY CAN'T THERE BE QUOTES IN NEW TOPICS
Like every guy it was ultimately enjoyable but didn't come after some of the most awkward moments of my life. I was a late bloomer and didn't get deflowered until my Sophomore year of college, after I had moved into my first apartment. Like so many a splendid occasions it came when we had a little party and a friend of a friend came to hang out. She was pushing 6 feet tall and was just sitting in the corner. I literally chatted her up for maybe 15 minutes before we made the move to my room, while the party was still in full swing. A couple of things, one, I used THE WORST line I have ever used ever ever to give us the excuse to check out my room, "Hey I got a pet snake in my room, wanna go check it out (ehh? ehh?)?" As soon as we got in there we started making out and she stopped to tell me this wasn't a booty call. Since I didn't know her I told her it was impossible to be a booty call since we just met. We proceeded to get naked on my mattress that laid on the floor. As this is happening another one of her friends tries to barge in and pull a huge cock block. My girl kept insisting that she didn't want to leave and that her friend should leave, she was wanting some ass. I managed to beckon one of my friends over to get her to leave us alone. From there on out the comedy of errors were just starting. I had only one condom lying round and proceeded to fuck it up by unrolling it first. I actually tried to stretch it out over my dick like Steve Carrell in 40 Year Old Virgin sans the dick snap. After a few minutes of fumbling I told her it was going to have to be a no condom show, and she said ok. I shot it off into the corner of my room like a rubber band. Having been a party I had probably downed 10 or so beers before she even showed up. My first time was also learning about what whiskey dick meant. I was half hard and had no awareness of how to get it in. I struggled to find the hole for what felt like and hour. She started getting impatient and was sighing and wondering what the fuck was going on. I told her that if this was going to happen I was going to need her to suck my dick for a little bit first. She was very reluctant to do this and I had to keep plying her to do it while she tried getting it in herself. Right as she agreed to go down on me she somehow slipped it in and BLAM! We were off to the races. This is the moment I believe you guys are talking about double rainbows (kind of a homo description no?). It was like she had plugged my balls into a power outlet, my body finally figured out what was going on and I was hard as a rock. It was that moment when I realized that the whole history of the human race was right, this felt AWESOME. Well unlike a lot of guys who bust after two pumps I was drunk as shit so there was a very slim chance I was going to cum at all. I pounded away for a while and finally she said she was getting sore down there. I was pretty spent as well and just turned over and fell asleep. I woke up a few hours later and tried to go again but she wasn't having it. The next morning I was awakened to my roommate who started blaring the "Where are my panties?" track from the OutKast album, while the girl was still right next to me. She did end up losing her panties which were crammed between the bed and the wall, I still have them as a trophy to this day. I walked her outside gave her directions to campus gave her a kiss and let her take the walk of shame back to her friends place. She stepped in a huge pile of dog shit right out in front of my place as she left, wearing FLIP FLOPS, it was quite and end to my first time story. She ended up moving down to Clifton to go to UC and she hung in the same groups of friends that I did but we never hooked up again. A few years later our mutual friend told her it was my first time that night and she got pissed that I hadn't told her. Meh. I was glad the pressure was finally off* and that it was as great as it had been billed, even if it was a complete disaster. This was also the best year so far of my "hook up life." I forget the exact dates but this occured in the spring, just weeks after I got a BJ from this girl I was hanging out with at work. Over the next six months I changed jobs and moved and had sex with 2 more girls and hooked up with about 3 other ones, not going as far as fucking the others. *that was figuratively speaking since I hadn't busted a nut I did end up with the first and worst case of blue balls Ive ever had.
WoW wasn't around when I lost it. As intimated in the cut/no cut thread, it sucked. I didn't work, and it was painful. She got upset because I was upset and tensed up. Then there was the blood as we were both virgins (not from me, I just got a swelled up glans that turned bright purple. You've all seen the guy who gets the garotte in the movies? Same effect, just with me kicking, gurgling and frothing at the mouth). We were prepared for the blood, but it's actual appearance coupled with the general mood killed everything. We tried several more times over the ensuing weeks with the same general result. She was starting to develop a complex. Eventually, she just said stick it in and do it as we were both getting frustrated and thought maybe it would be better once we got going. For her, it was. For me, it felt like a burning ring of fire. She's now a lesbian. I think I might have had something to do with that.
My first time was with my high school girlfriend. We were both virgins (read: retarded). Fairly standard first time virgin sex, but when it got in there oh dear sweet Jesus did it feel nice on my dick. I was THIS close to being a two-pumper but somehow I held it together. I remember thinking something along the lines of OH MY GOD THIS IS THE BEST THING IN THE ENTIRE WORLD I AM HAVING SEX I AM THE FUCKING MAN WAIT WAIT SHIT SHIT DON'T CUM DON'T CUM On the other side of my dick, things weren't going so well for the girlfriend. Because we were dumb, we didn't use a condom/ any sort of lube, and due to the combination of her tightness and my dick not being terribly small, it hurt like a bitch for her. So after a little bit she told me to stop, basically pushed me out, and then said her first words since my dick had entered her: "You broke my hymen, you asshole", which I of course thought was hilarious. So I didn't get off inside of her the first time, but she blew me after so it all works out.
This occurred early in my junior year of high school. I was inexperienced, but she sure as hell wasn't. She actually lived right down the street from me and since her parents were out of town, it happened at her house. I had been there all night and could just tell I was going to get laid, but we had to wait until her little sister fell asleep. This girl wasn't and never was a girl friend but we had been flirting for a few week prior to that night. Besides that, there's not much to say. She put on the condom for me because (like the guy above me) I fucked it up with the first one. Then we had sex for three minutes and I came. Even though the sex lasted three minutes the post sex "was it good for you" inquiry must have lasted for 30. That was about it. It wasn't earth shattering, but I had a good time. We ended up hooking up for a couple months after that. To this day I've still never had sex without a condom. None have ever broke on me either.
My first time was with a British girl I met at a bar. At that point, I was so unconfident around girls that I felt it was necessary to get completely smashed if there was a prospect of getting laid. In fact, I was so wasted that until now I barely even remember talking to her, and don't know what her name is. Long story short, we went up to my room under the pretext that she is going to teach me how to dance. Upstairs, after a few minutes of actually trying to show me how to dance, she says "man, it's a shame that your friend is here, we could really have some fun." The friend she was referring to was my roommate, who was passed out on his bed. I, not being one to miss out on having fun, inform her that my friend is so piss drunk that a bomb could go off now and he wouldn't wake up. To prove my point, I go up to my friend, grab him firmly on the side with both hands, and start screaming his name while shaking him violently. He doesn't wake up. I turn back to British Girl matter-of-factly and say "See? Nothing's going to wake him up." So we move to the bed, start fooling around, and it becomes pretty apparent that I don't know what I'm doing. She asks me at some point how many girls I've been with, and I made up some bullshit lie because she was older, much more experienced, and I was insecure. Somehow though, through my inexperience and a little guidance on her part, we start going at it, but I can't come because I'm so hammered. At some point, my other roommate walks into the room and just gets into his bed and starts watching. She comes and says that she's just going to have to blow me because if I haven't come by now then I'm never going to come. She starts to blow me and I start to go soft so she says she's just going to leave but I beg her to keep going and eventually she does. About three seconds after her mouth gets to my dick, realizing that I barely feel anything, I decide she needs a little encouragement. I put my hands behind my head, look up at the ceiling, and go, "C'mon, is that all you got?" I look down and see her throw up her hands up in the way people do when they get frustrated and completely run out of patience, and she starts getting dressed. At that moment it became obvious that my passed-out roommate had woken up, thanks in no small part to the fact that he was laughing obnoxiously loud. Seeing two random guys staring at her from their beds, she says, "Hey, I just taught your friend how to have sex!" The roommate that just woke up starts laughing even louder and goes, "Thank you so much, you just took my friend's virginity!" Me "SHUT THE FUCK UP! DON'T JOKE LIKE THAT!" Friend "My friend isn't a virgin anymore!" Her "What... are you.. WHAT?!" Friend "Thank you so much!" Me "SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!" Her "I'm going to go fucking vomit." Yeah, that kind of shattered my already non-existent confidence when it came to women at that point. I finally manage to get laid and all the girl wants to do is throw up. I was insecure, caught in a lie, and disappointed that finally having sex wasn't the most earth-shattering thing I've ever done, so I did what any idiot teenager would do, I started cracking up at her. I laughed a little at first but by the time she got all her clothes on and left I was rolling in my bed laughing hysterically, totally content to let my insecurities take over so that I wouldn't have to feel badly. I know that doesn't make sense. I like to think that I've grown up since then.
Oh what a timely thread. My first time was last weekend. I'm 21. Thankyou, I'm here all week. I wish I was kidding, but due to a string of bad luck, most of which being the fact that I'm awkward and suffer social anxiety, I managed to get through high school and a four year degree without ever touching a girls bits. So, with that out of the way, my first time was more or less as I expected. I had been warned about the physical sensation being totally overhyped and so I went in with low expectations, and they weren't even met. Maybe I just have a small dick, but it wasn't the double rainbow some would have me believe. Since I've already put everything else on the table for you jerks, I might as well say that the best part was the emotional connection. We both liked each other and that made it so much better. Actually, I can't even imagine having sex with someone I don't like. Isn't that what porn is for? Fuck it, I'm going to shut up now. At least I'm not durbanite. Yet.
I'm really really happy for all of you who's first time wasn't terrible. Had mine been just normal sex it wouldn't have been that bad. Oh but it wasn't... from behind, no lube - and he rammed it in my butt. The whole 'popping the cherry' was nothing after that.
I had the first time straight out of a John Hughes movie probably. I was in high school, I had been dating this boy for about a year, I found out later that our nicknames around school were "Barbie and Ken". I was trying to decide what to get him for his 16th birthday (I was 16 already), and what better gift then the gift of both of our virginities. He worked at a country club so this occurred on a bench in some sort of game room after hours. All I remember is awkward fumbling and a bit of pain followed by a "is that all there is" moment. We both got better at it, but in hindsight, I bet he would have rather had a real birthday gift. Oh, and then right before my senior year I dumped him to date older boys and turned into something like Slutty Barbie. Poor guy, he deserved better.
My freshman year of high school, one of my new and older friends thought it'd be cool to snatch my virginity. Luckily, it was a friend of the female persuasion. We skipped class, smoked some dope, she laid me out on my living room floor and did all the work. No condom, three pump chump action, it was magical. I love whores.
I have played WoW for quite some time, and when I got to college, my freshman year, WoW was a comfort for me. I didn't have to go to parties, I could stay in and play WoW. Yes, I was a dorky no-lifed virgin. Well, fast forward to my second semester. I'm still playing warcraft quite a bit, and end up chatting up a girl named Jackie who is also playing. It turns out that Jackie and I live within 3 hours of each other. One weekend she decides to drive up and see me, prior to this she and I had flirted a bit, and exchanged multiple pictures, because frankly I was having none of it if she was a land-beast, and furthermore I was not above saying leave if she was.(Ok, maybe I wouldn't have been able to be that big of an asshole, but if she had lied about the pictures, I would have been pissed.) She come visits me at work when she gets in town, and then heads back to my room because she also knew my roommate at this point. She was not bad looking, in fact, she was really good looking. I'm still friends with her on facebook, and I cannot reiterate enough (because I realize the WoW stereotypes, especially for women) that she was skinny, in better shape than I was, and definitely cute. Well, that evening, I get off work, send my roommate out of the room for a little while, Jackie and I make out for a bit, then go for a walk. We come back to the room where my roommate (on the top bunk) is asleep. I throw on some music ( I lost my virginity to the song "Crash" by Dave Mathews) and we have at it. The only condom I had ended up being too small and left a very very tight ring around my dick. it was not comfortable or fun, and I didn't finish. The rest of the weekend however was a blast, and we were able to make up for the first night. My roommate was not asleep, and I was the second friend who lost their virginity in the same room as him. He remained a virgin until he was 21. Jackie visited a few more times, always coming to see me, over the next year. Since then I've had multiple girlfriends, realized that I'm not a half-bad looking dude, and my confidence has shot up considerably. Jackie and I stopped talking after a pregnancy scare. Do I regret it? No not really, I still think it's pretty funny, and Jackie was a cool girl. Am I embarrassed to tell the story? Hell yes I am. Apparently for this poll I need to select more than one option.
It was both a double rainbow and not worth the hype. Two and a half years later and I don't think that my girlfriend's pussy has felt that wet. We had barely been dating for a month, half of which was Christmas vacation, and the first two weeks were in the middle of exam season, and yet, we still spent most of our time fooling around gratuitously. She didn't quite want to have sex yet, but that didn't stop her one night from grinding her vagina against the length of my dick. She grinded a bit more and I could feel the tip of it feel the warm, wet ocean that lay inside. I made a very not serious joke about "just the tip" and the next thing I know she's pointing my dick up and bringing her pussy down. It went in with speed and smoothness and felt amazing. After gathering my wits from the "but I thought she didn't want to have sex. Wait, no, shut up dude, you're getting laid, don't tell her that!" train of thought, I got out one of the free condoms the residence gave her, put it on, and we went to town. I was so nervous about the condom breaking that I came outside of her, with the condom on. I think because we'd been fooling around so much I didn't come right away, but I didn't last very long either. And as far as I could tell it didn't hurt for her - but then again, I'd already popped her cherry with my other appendages. Afterwards she laid there, very quiet, for about fifteen minutes while I awkwardly asked her questions to see if she was okay and wondering if she was about to freak out. After the initial awkwardness, she rolls over and says, "Let's have sex again." I obliged. I say it was mediocre and not worth the hype because you really do realize what the phrase "Relax, it's just sex" means. I don't think sex is "natural" as some hippies would say, but given the evolutionary impulse towards it, it is by definition the most normal human behaviour we can engage in. You also discover that every virgin in the world railing against premarital sex is positively the least qualified person in the world to discuss its evils.
The story itself was long, but let me break this down into a readable highlight reel: - On a cruise, I was drunk, she "lost her room card" so she couldn't pay for drinks. Bartender who I'd been tipping like crazy did me a solid and kept feeding her drinks. - Went back to my room, apparently she decided to wear several layers of confusing clothing, including her bra. I eventually removed them all through brute force and determination, possibly ruining several of the items permanently in the process. - Finally got her naked, realized she hadn't shaved bush in... well, forever. This normally would have come into play, except it was my first time and I really wanted it. - Stuck it in, immediately went limp. I said "try sucking on it" and proceeded to get the toothiest blowjob of my life. I may or may not have immediately stopped her by smacking her upside the held and yelling "you suck!" - Fresh condom, went back to regular sex. Quickly realized I wasn't going to cum, so I "accidentally" stuck it in her butt just to say I got the trifecta my first time, then randomly said I had to piss. - Locked myself in the restroom with the shower running until she left. Irony is about a month and a half later I met my now-wife who was "saving herself" (which in hindsight I actually really appreciate, and not for religious reasons), and the next time I had sex was about a month or two before I proposed. So not only did my first time suck, but if I had just kept my dick in my pants for a few more weeks I would have "saved myself" or whatever dumb shit for my wife, which would have meant a lot I think to both of us.
My first time was in March of my senior year of high school. I had been dating this chick for about a month and we had been fooling around for a little while. Anyway, one night I picked her up from the airport as she had been visiting colleges in Oregon and while she was there we decided that when she got back she would take my virginity. She was MUCH more experienced than I was and was actually quite the slut. After picking her up at the airport and taking her out to dinner, we went back to my house where the awkwardness ensued. We both sripped our own clothes off and she laid down on the bed. At this point in time just seeing her naked got me as hard as a rock. As I slid my dick in I thought "Holy SHIT! This is fucking awesome! Wait, don't blow it. Think about something else". As I was thinking this she said, "well, how is it?" All I could respond with was "Great, how is it for you?" even though I damn well knew that she was bored as hell and I might as well have been fucking a blow up doll. Fast forward three minutes and it was all over. It happened so fast I couldn't even enjoy it and neither could she. Afterward, we quickly and awkwardly got dressed and then I dropped her off at home. She came over the next day to have sex and it went much better. By better I mean I actually enjoyed it when I came and it was slightly less awkward. We ended up dating for three years and had much less sex than I would have liked.In retrospect we should never have dated and her one redeeming quality was that when we had sex she let me do what ever I wanted to her in bed. However, she was pretty much a dead fish who claimed to have "amazing sex skills". I never saw them but the guys she cheated on me with have have.
We had dated from February 1996 to January 1997. All I got during my time with her were three blowjobs. I switched schools, she went crazy, we broke up. Fast forward to that fateful day on December 23, 1997. Do you remember where you were? Because I do. I was sitting around watching TV, minding my own business trying to push out the excess noise in my home. My parents' friend took his daughter overseas on a trip and his wife who didn't want to stay at home alone for two weeks took her an and moved in to my room while I was forced to share the room with my brother. She is a banshee and her screams can shatter the heartiest of souls. Her son and my brother were up to no good, she starts yelling, my mom starts yelling at the kids, my dad starts yelling at the women and everybody is yelling back and forth (ah, to be Israeli...there's nothing quite like it). Somehow through all this I hear a knock on the door. Since everyone is screaming, I go and answer it. It's my ex-girlfriend who even though she lived ten or so houses down, I haven't spoken to since April of that year. Me: Hey...what's up? Her: Not much just going to the mall. I gotta buy my niece and nephew Christmas presents. Wanna come? Me: *looking back into the mess that is my family* Let me get a hoodie. We head to the mall and she does nothing but window shop. I don't think anything of it. So her niece and nephew get shit all for Christmas whatever. I remember them being brats anyways. I don't remember what we talked about. There may have been some flirting going on, I don't know. At this point in my life I'm pretty retarded around women. What I do remember is that we're hungry so we grab a bite to eat from McDonald's and take the food back to my place. At some point along the walk the universe decided today was going to be the day that the stars line up in Deepinit's favour. As we get to my house we see my family getting into the van to go out to dinner. The ex says hi to my mom as we go inside and upstairs to my brother's room to watch TV. My mom yells down from below "We'll be back in an hour!" She opens the door, the alarm bell chimes. She closes the door; another chime. Then we hear the lock being turned from the outside. As soon, as the key is out of the lock, the Ex grabs the remote from my hand, mutes the TV throws my half eaten fries across the room onto my brother's desk, straddles me, takes off her shirt to reveal the greatest set of tits I had laid eyes upon at that point in my life (I had seen two), kisses me and says those six magical words everyman longs to hear. "I want you to fuck me." Unfortunately, not thinking I was getting laid anytime soon, my friends and I had used the only three condoms I had as water balloons to attack squirrels in my back yard that previous summer. Thinking quickly, I hop out of the bed and bolt to my parent's room and rifle through my dad's shit until I find a box of condoms. The box is sealed which makes me happy as it reaffirms my belief that I was brought via stork. However there is an expiry date on it...October 1994. Thus reaffirming my parents live a sham marriage. But what am I to do? In my hands I have a box of condoms three years expired. In my brother's room I have a set of 16 year old D-cups waiting to unleash the fury on my dick. In a snap decision, the risks justify the means. I grab a rubber, head back and go to town. I actually have to go right now, but let me sum it up... You saw how she looked like she was in control that whole time? that feeling waned as soon as I got back into the room. She refused to take her pants off the whole way. They were around her ankles. She gave no instructions and even though I was inside of her I don't recall much sliding motion. I had the standard HOLYSHITI'MHAVINGSEX!!! thought but that waned in less than ten minutes before my thoughts turned to is-this-all-it-is? I was no where near coming so I faked it. Yes, I faked my first time. I made my dick twitch a few times, made a slight groaning noise and pulled out throwing the condom off me so she wouldn't see it wasn't full. She got up, went to take a shower. I ran back to my parent's room and called my best friend to brag about my exploits... "DUDE! YOU'LL NEVER BELIEVE WHAT I JUST DID!!!" To the virgin dudes reading this wondering what it's going to feel like...it ain't a big deal.
My first time was like a badly exaggerated version of this. It was some girl who lived in my dorm who I ended up dancing with at a party. I was very drunk. I remember we started making out and I nearly toppled her over a few times because I couldn't stand up straight. When we came back she promised to come to my room, she was going to "freshen up." While she brushed her teeth or whatever I chugged another beer in my room. When we first started she went down on me and I had a boner. I took out a condom (very, very deliberately and obviously) and she just laughed and said "I'm not ready for that yet." So I figured hey, I need to warm HER up a little bit, and so I basically licked her neck and rammed a finger up her snatch. She thought I was cute for some reason and eventually told me she was ready. But I couldn't get it up. I started issuing orders like "maybe just use your mouth again." She waited very patiently as I tried jacking myself off while squeezing her tits. I was directing my own porn, which would have been awesome IF THE TALENT COULD GET HIS GODDAMN DICK UP. The thing was not only could I not get my dick hard, but I REALLY REALLY had to take a shit. I didn't want to leave and squander the opportunity. But I was also focusing a lot of energy on not ripping a huge fart. This all sort of peaked in a moment where I was "pretending" to mount her missionary style while she jacked me off and I kissed her. I had to fart so bad that I couldn't hold it all in-- it hissed out very slowly like air from a bicycle pump. That might've been when I decided to call it quits. The worst part was she slept over and when I woke up a few hours later of course I had a raging erection.
Definitely an interesting first time for me. 4/20/99, a freshman in high school, and having just discovered the joys of marijuana, I skipped school with a couple friends and a few girls. One friend's dad was a Vietnam vet, and had pretty bad combo of PTSD and raging alcoholism I'm guessing, as he was always staying for weeks at a time at the local VFW, he had a personal cot in the corner. (Just a side note, this dad was nuts. He had 14 DUIs since returning from 'nam, and was on Anabuse, and still drank a handle of vodka or more a day, and drove everywhere.) Since he was sure to be gone, we went to his house and spent a few hours smoking out of a paper towel roll steamroller, good times. For some odd reason one of the girls changed the tv from scooby doo to the news, and all of us were shocked. One of our rival schools, Columbine, had had a shooting. All of that I remember clearly. What followed was a that-could-have-been-us freakfest. We stole dude's dad's alcohol and got annihilated, and somewhere in there I banged one of the girls. She then banged another dude. And another. I remember enjoying it thoroughly, and lasting about 5 minutes in drunk time; could've been two pumps, could've been an hour, but most likely in the low single-digit minutes. I even called my mom while I was shitfaced and was a little teary and emotional, from both the shooting and the sex. The next morning none of us wanted to face the real world, or anyone else involved, after all the retarded shit we'd done. I never hung out with that girl again, and it took about 6 months to even bring it up with the other guys from that night.
Who are these creepy, future McDonalds fire-ee, drug abusing, "older guys" who want to date high school girls? A year out of high school my absolute floor was a high school senior, two years out and just the words "high school" alone were enough to send me running. Focus: Like most others it was quick and awkward, just like the learning of any new skill. Only really notable thing was that we didn't have any condoms, so we had the "do you want to keep this to oral or make a convenience store run?" conversation which preceded us walking into a 7-11 together and buying nothing but condoms. Subtle.
I was trying to keep it brief and in doing so I did forget to mention that I did successfully stick my erect penis in that same girls vagina a week later. We became what I thought was called a fuck buddy, but she secretly thought was potential boyfriend. This dynamic culminated in her stopping me as we were having sex to ask "where this was going," which led to her crying while I was still inside her. Thus began my inability to cum unless they are crying. No but seriously. That happened and I feel like such a fucking creep just writing it.