I hadn't used Facebook for a couple of years, but recently, a friend of mine convinced me to check it out again. The way he put it, it would be fun to see what all my ancient, out-of-contact acquaintances were up to. And it was. One of my good high school friends, a nerdy Chinese guy, came out as gay, with a boyfriend and all. Totally caught me by surprise. Although, in retrospect, we were once on a school trip together, sharing a dorm room, with bunk beds. When I took off some clothes to go to sleep, everything except my wife-beater and boxer-briefs, his reaction was "EWWW!!! That's disgusting! I don't want to see that!" On the flip side, there was a different nerdy Chinese friend who I had always assumed was gay (he wore pink shoes, goddamn it), who just got married, and to a fairly attractive girl at that. Good for him. There was a girl I was acquaintances with when we were both in junior high, and she was ugly, marginally fat, with acne over a good portion of her face. Now? She has gotten rid of the acne, dyed her hair blonde, grown in terms of height and breast/ass, wears stylish clothes, and looks like a completely different human being. Now, she looks like one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen anywhere. I'm not even exaggerating. However, not everything was amusing or good. A very cool girl I knew got diagnosed with Hodgkin's lymphoma at 22. While it was caught relatively early, and her outlook is good, that's a brutal thing to live with. Focus- What amusing transformations or stories have you seen/heard about people you used to know back in the day?
I graduated in 2004, and most of the people I went to high school with have been surprised to see pictures of me. I weighed 275 lbs when I graduated, and I am now down to 190 lbs. I am 6'4'', but trust me, I was a FAT 275 lbs. Dexter Fowler, who was in my class, is playing center field for the Rockies. Aside from that there is nothing very major. A few instances of kids who were nerds turning into drinkers/pot smokers, but none who have screwed their lives up over it. anti-focus: I can't believe the number of kids who I went to high school with who are already getting married--to each other! I can think of at least 10 couples who were in my class who are already engaged or married, and several more who were in my class and are with somebody from one of the next 3 graduating classes from my school. Some of them are ones who got together when we were still in high school, but there are a few who started dating after they started college, and some of those are ones who didn't even go to the same college! Granted, most of the people I am talking about are pretty smart and have decent jobs, but still.
About half of my old classmates that I have on facebook already have kids...i'm 20. An all-league football and basketball player who I played with from 1st grade through senior year has 3 kids with 3 different women. I'm betting he'll have 5 by the age of 23.
Got added by a girl I knew in high school. She is probably familiar to most of you from her body of work, and well, her body. Bree Olsen.
Same shit happened with a girl from my high school. We really should have seen it coming. She was a frumpy confused girl who had a rat nest hair do and wore Jynco jeans everyday. She also happened to be sisters with the hottest biggest breasted girl from our school. Again we should have really really seen this shit coming. She went off to OU freshman year and turned up at a frat party I was at, hey I was a freshman it was the easiest way to score booze. She had slimmed down to a normal size and had adopted a more girlie look. After chatting her up a while she invited me and a friend back to the place she was staying. I thought it was game on. But the house's owner refused to let us in and I was thwarted my attempt. She transferred to UC a year later, started training for marathons and worked out every day at the gym. She turned into an absolute stunner. I used to talk to her quite frequently at the gym but she never warmed up to my attempts to get her to come out drinking with me. She writes a blog now and has had some of them picked up by college humor, I dont know how stringent they are, where she laments about still being nerdy and never being able to get laid. A stunner who can't get laid? What a knee slapper! She hooked up with this guy from our high school a year or two ago and he claims shit got weird real fast so maybe it's not an act. The other amazing story was a kid from our class we nick named stinky. He was a hillblly and had a constant dirt cloud of stink that followed him around like Pigpen. I met an older brother of his whilst he was high on morphine at a friends party. Great family. Word got out that a couple of years ago stinky PASSED OUT ON RAILROAD TRACKS AND WAS RUN OVER BY A TRAIN. He lost all but one limb and was only saved when the conductor made the quick decision to rig up some tourniquets. I never believed the story, even after I read a newspaper clipping about it. But I found his facebook site once and saw that he did in fact lose two legs and one arm. According to the story they didn't find any drugs in stinkys system, not even alcohol, so the story goes.
Nothing too major here, but a few come to mind: The little bony kid in English who used to pester me for info regarding upcoming punk shows... Ffwd a few years and there he is on TV, the leader of a notorious racist skinhead clique, ranting to local media about them Jews as his clique pickets the Imperial Palace (which, I believe, was showing Hitler's car collection or something). The black halfback I befriend in Pop Warner football... Ffwd and there he is on the front page of the newspaper, in handcuffs during sentencing for murdering a milkman during a robbery gone bad. The stoner friend of a friend I let stay at my house when he was homeless... Ffwd to the night he and some of his new friends sneak into a golf course, steal some golf carts, and then somehow he gets beheaded in the process. The little girl in 6th grade (note: previous milkman murder happened at the same 6th grade center after hours, years later) who followed me throughout the school year begging me to make out with her (I never did). Ffwd to her being a very prominent judge out for a pricey steak dinner and me parking her car w/out "catching up".
For those of you who have watched Fright Night (1985), you may be surprised that little "Evil Ed" became a gay porn star. <a class="postlink" href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0313267/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0313267/</a>
I went to school with a guy who we heard had went on to become a gay porn star. Gorwing up in rural Ohio finding out someone is gay is pretty shocking, but being in gay porn is totally unheard of. To quote my brother- "It's the only time I have ever looked at gay porn. But I felt like I had to." I never looked, but he did, and informed me it was in fact him cornholing some dudes.
In high school, my boyfriend was a major dork. At 15, his mother was still laying out his school clothes, he played with Yu-Gi-Oh cards every weekend, and he was legitimately fat. Now, at 23, he's in the Navy, buff as shit, and the only card game he place is Texas Hold'em.
A guy who was a grade before me in boarding school was Pam Anderson's boyfriend on Baywatch for a few seasons. Since it wasn't mentioned in the alumni newsletter and I don't watch the show I had no idea till years after the show was canceled. Two brothers a couple years after me are fairly well known musicians and once again none of this is mentioned in the alumni newsletter and it was only due to one of them wearing a school t-shirt after a show that I made the connection. My class ? Nothing.
By all accounts, I'm the guy who went through the transformation since high school. Back then I was teetering near 300 pounds and was awkward and shy as hell. Now, I pretty much engage in some sort of grueling physical exertion at least 2-3 hours a day and regularly do dangerous shit for fun. It's always fun when the girls from high school who were bombshells see me now and recognize me. Shallow bitches will always remain shallow bitches. Circa 2003 (after high school graduation) June 2010 I've seen some people get fat as fuck after high school graduation. It happens to men, but it's staggeringly tilted toward hot women getting fat after high school, and I have no idea why this is the case.
What? You can't just leave us with that, you tease. What was she like? What she hot in high school? Particularly slutty? Know anyone who hit that? Nothing too exciting from my high school. One guy ended up racking up a few hundred posts on the Tucker Max Message Board, later the Rudius Media Message Board. Oh wait..
My favorite was the socially awkward kid we all used to call "gay" and beat up on. He's awaiting sentencing on trying to lure an underage girl into a sexual meeting with apparent intent to record it. He hasn't logged into Myspace recently (it's been awhile)...
Lookup Michelle Bombshell if you don't already know who she is. She's the respectable young lady who Jesse James cheated on Sandra with. She claimed to grow up Amish in Canada among all sorts of other lies. Oh, also that she was 24 or some shit. Well, she's a bit older than that. 32 or 33. I know this as I graduated high school with her. In suburban Cleveland. She ran cross country, was a cheerleader, nothing crazy. Her mom used to cut my hair. We didn't know each other too well, but ran in similar circles. I was en route to Cleveland on St. Patty's Day this year when the story broke. I looked at all my yearbooks right when I got to my moms. I'm still kicking myself that I wasn't the one who sold the pictures to TMZ or whatever gossip site. I heard they sold for 15k. I had time too as they weren't sold for a couple days and in my drunken haze that day even talked to a couple friends about contacting one of those gossip sites or magazines. I'm a huge fan of tattoos, but I think "Pray For Us Sinners" really big on the forehead is just a bad decision. Good luck with that one when your fake tits are hanging down to your knees and the tattoo has faded and gets surrounded by age wrinkles. NSFW NSFW
One of the funniest thrills is walking into a strip club when you're young and fucked up and seeing ex-classmates up on stage. Looking way HOTTER than before as the school outcast. This, of course is when you're young and naive enough to buy into a stripper's bullshit.
I went to high school with two future porn stars, one a guy who did gay porn and got corn holed by that power ranger who did gay porn, and another a little blonde girl who went on to bang A LOT of big black dudes in porn. Funny thing was she was a huge whore in high school, dumb as shit, and known to run around naked and drunk at parties trying to fuck anything that walked so every buddy saw it coming. I worked with her at Quizno's for awhile and almost fucked her in a walk in fridge in the back of the store until a customer came in and ruined it. I will never forget, I played center 3 years on varsity football and my QB all three years lost his virginity to this whore. By the way, the girl I am talking about is this gem....... <a class="postlink" href="http://www.freeones.com/html/b_links/Bailey/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.freeones.com/html/b_links/Bailey/</a> I have no intention of looking up links of the guy who go corn holed for y'all.
When I was in high school I had a horrendous job of incoming call service for a bank. One of the girls in my training class had the name "Mistidawn". Of course I posited that this was a stripperish name. She denied and laughed it off. Fast forward 2 years and she is on stage at a local club, completely nude (except for pasties. Why are those even legal?). Funny thing is, when she saw me I could swear on my life that she blushed. We had a nice conversation, which mostly included my laughing at her after she got off stage. Now she is into alternative porn. Burning Angel/Suicide Girl type stuff. NSFW
I just joined Facebook last week after intense pressure from, well, everybody. Facebook knows more about me than I do. I gave it the name of two friends and it remembered people I had totally forgotten from school years ago. Seriously, if you just made a fake account for Osama bin Laden and gave it two or three other Al Qaeda names, you would be able to unravel the whole network. No huge surprises, unfortunately. I had a preview from every fucking person in my life who was constantly on my ass to join Facebook. Non-surprises included: Perennially frustrated (but funny) guy from high school with initials G.A.Y. turns out to be gay after all. Now much happier. Little Orphan Annie raised by grandparents with huge insecurity issues marries young and has approximately 14 children. Also happy. Friend for whom high school was the best years of his life friends me immediately and "wants to hang out, bro!" Several high-school-reconnect relationships/marriages. My theory: after college/grad school relationships fizzle or don't work out for whatever reason, people move back home or move somewhere new for work and start looking on Facebook for people they know/knew to connect with. They re-connect socially, then re-connect genitally, and it's all good. They will be squatting out little homogeneous babies soon. Family members I don't see very often who friend me, then I realize it's just a ploy to get me to work on their virtual farm like some kind of digital Bracero Program. It is likely that my unwillingness to participate will cause friction at next family get-together. Every ex-girlfriend, ex-crush, ex-female-acquaintance-who-I-was-ever-mildly-attracted-to posting a photo album from their wedding. Dude you knew in college that would carbon-copy 800 people on emails informing them of events coming up is still the Event Informer, only now he friends all those people and posts shit endlessly on his wall. But what're you gonna do? They're the people in your life. My strategy is to not be That Guy, for as many values of That Guy as possible. We'll see how well that works out.
Wow. Sorry that I forgot to add this but, this chick started playing World of Warcraft the first day it was released. She would proudly talk about the game and her character as if it were her own life. That was the nerd part to compliment her whore part.
I went to High School with the chick below. I saw her poster at a gym and only realised who it was when I saw her name , then looked at her face and then realised who it was.... my first reaction was WTF ! http://www.amg-lite.com/sharon_waters/