You want to hook up HERE? NOW?

I may have posted this before but my strangest place was probably on top of one of the science buildings in college. She didn't want to go back to her room for some reason and I lived on the other side of campus, so we started looking for alternate venues. The library was closed so as we walk past the psych building, I spot a fire escape and come up with a brilliant idea. Hammered out of our minds, I boost her up to the ladder and we both climb up the ladder and 4 flights of steps to the roof.

I later found out that she wanted to keep this story quiet, as she's not the type of girl to do this sort of thing. Unfortunately for her, she didn't tell me this and I announced it to a room full of people as soon as I walked in the door.

Unfortunately for me, the story eventually got back to her and we never hooked up again after that.


This one wasn't me, but I was flying back from Germany and a flight attendant busted a couple that were having sex a couple rows up from me. All I'm trying to do is watch Ice Age 2 and instead I get some weird German exhibitionist sex show??

But the best part of that was seeing them in line at customs exchanging phone numbers.

 

Man caught masturbating at Starbucks. This happened locally. I had been wanting to bring it up somehow, maybe start a thread with it, but I couldn't figure out the best way.

Anyway, on focus, I had sex on the ten-foot diving board at a public pool after hours one night with my ex-wife (when we were still together).

 

An old girlfriend of mine was often up for shenanigans in public places. Apart from the obligatory road head and backseat bonking in carparks, we've done: the bonnet of my car in a new housing estate, most rooms in our respective family homes, bathroom of a hotel room we were sharing with a bunch of mates in the middle of the day an hour after we all arrived, while watching Pixar's Cars in the cinema with a family two rows in front (partial credit, only oral), in a multi storey carpark while ducking out from a friend's Police Academy graduation party, on a field or in a park somewhere, the toilet of a gay bar and at my work after hours.

While I'm sure joining the mile high club would be somewhat logistically difficult (i'm tall), it's still high up on my bucket list.

 

Hand job at the top of a slide at a roller rink when I was in 7th grade. Yes I kept my skates on.

 

I've only had one public performance. I was in my friends pool with his wife's friend (she totally took advantage of drunk me) while his wife was in the pool with us...I'm pretty sure she wasn't watching though, pretty sure. It was actually a lot of fun but I generally don't do the public thing.

 

The best place I have in the 50 yard line in the middle of the logo at my university's(Arizona, for those who care) football stadium

I was stumbling back to the dorms drunk when I passed the stadium and decided to find a way to break in. When I finally found success I immediately called my girlfriend at the time and told her we had to fuck right that instant before this chance slipped away. She agreed of course, and the rest is part of my college lore.

 

In terms of audience, I did it once when her gay best friend was in a bed about 2 feet away. It's was cool because he was sleeping...I thought, until later at brunch he commented on my predilection for ass-slapping.

I also gave head in a movie theater once, but who hasn't?

 

Me, received plenty of times, but never gave. Hell I've fucked in every movie theater in this city but I've never went muff diving in one.

 

My best public expedition was getting eaten out on a picnic table (I also got fucked on it, but that's not as amusing to me).

 

I once masturbated in my office while on a conference call with our satellite offices and a client. Phone was not on mute and they never suspected a thing. I managed to actually participate on the call too.

I am stealth.

 

Another case of when keeping it real goes wrong.

 

After reading this thread I'm afraid sitting down anywhere in public since it is likely one of you scoundrels have fucked on it.

 

Worst semi-public decision was to convince a girl to have sex in a cramped, smelly hostel bathroom in San Sebastian, Spain. I wised up a couple days later with a different girl and hopped a fence into a closed hilly park. We walked in near pitch black darkness up to a balcony and had sex with a view of the city below us. I think it was one of the more smooth things I've managed in my generally un-smooth life. I probably only managed to swing it because she was French and didn't speak English, only French and Spanish, and my Spanish isn't good enough for me to say the stupid shit that usually gets me in trouble.

Another memorable one happened during college. While waiting for the bus to go to some sorority formal, we went into the business school building we were waiting in front of and had a quickie on a study table. Anytime I walked by that table and saw someone studying, I had a good laugh to myself. Come on, who studies in business school?

 

I fucked an old FWB at her workplace after hours. She worked as a social worker for emotionally damaged children. Raise your hand if you've fucked someone on top of a pile of stuffed animals that 7 year olds have cried into.

Add me to the list of people that have whacked it on a plane.

 

Seriously? Did you do it for the thrill factor or was the time between take off and landing too long for you to go without beating it?

 

Any time a dude is wearing boxer briefs as if they were pants, you know some serious shit is about to go down.

"NURSE, NURSE, THERE'S A STRANGE LOOKING MAN WITH A MOHAWK AND PIERCINGS GIVING A LADY THE BUSINESS OUTSIDE!"
"Sure there is, Sally. Now take your pills and go back to bed."

 

Honestly? I was bored as shit and not even thinking about the potential consequences. It was a red eye and the plane was about half full. After spending three hours trying to get comfortable on an airline seat designed by someone with scoliosis, I figured a post orgasmic snooze would work. It didn't.

 

First time I got head was the Harold Washington Library on the 5th floor in a conference room with glass doors, and half the wall missing. Later that summer, ate a girl out and got head in the middle of a park, then later in another library.

Then years later had sex in Chicago's Medical History museum bathroom. There was no one around and it just had to happen. Good stuff.

 

When I was a senior in high school my girlfriend at the time and I went up to Glenwood Springs for the day. While in the hot springs, she let me fuck her for a little bit but then a few people seemed like they were on to us, forcing us we to stop. On the way back home that day, we took pulled off on some random exit, drove a few miles down a less busy highway and I fucked her in my car.

Not my story but a kid I went to jr. high with got expelled in 8th grade for masterbating while in math class. He was rubbing one out for quite a while before some girl sitting next to him noticed that he had his dick in his hand and immediately yelled out something about Jack tugging on himself. The teacher told him to stand up (I didn't have math with him so I don't know if he put his dick back in his pants at this particular point) and marched his ass down the the principle's office. Jack had to go before the school board to receive his expulsion and explain exactly what he was doing and why he shouldn't be expelled. I only saw him a few times after that incident but it was all everyone at school could talk about for the next two months.