I had a girlfriend who always talk about bananas, I didn't realize what she meant until I was eating a banana out of her.
Now that right there would have ended the relationship. No way Jabba's bitch is going to stick anything in me.
One thing I've been curious about ever since I discovered it is prostate stimulation, with the Aneros ( www.aneros.com ) being the most popular tool for the job. Now, I'm not gay, and I don't find the idea / mental image of an l-shaped piece of plastic going up my (or anybody else's, for that matter) butt to be arousing in the least. But, from the tons of feedback on the Aneros forum / wiki, aswell as various videos on porn sites, the thing really does seem to have its benefits. Reports range from increased sensitivity / intensity in regular orgasms, all the way up to mind-blowing, earth-shattering, full-body orgasms that last for several minutes. I wouldn't really refer to the thing so much as a sexual fetish, but rather an alternative form of physical stimulation, which apparently can yield spectacular results.
I have an old fuck buddy who is coming into town for the Thanksgiving holiday. The other day she told me she wants to do a whole Don Draper/boss and secretary role play. Unfortunately I have never seen an episode of "Mad Men", let alone done any kind of role playing before. However, you can bet your ass I'm going to DVR/Hulu/download me the fuck out of some "Mad Men" in the next few days.
I once put an 8 ball (billiard ball) in my ex's pussy and fucked her for awhile with that in there. I couldn't really feel it, and she said that it wasn't spectacular either, so we took it out...with some difficulty. It's pretty hard to grasp something round and slick like that with only a couple of fingers.
..... What?!?! I can't even fathom this. The sheer geometry of the situation is mind boggling. Ok, I could maybe see someone being able to stick a pool ball up there, but to then fuck afterwards? How? Did you just keep shoving it deeper in there? Go around it? Wormhole? And how in the hell did you get it out afterwards? Plunger? This obviously needs more explanation Focus: ... I got nothing, because of dixiebandit the universe as I once knew it has unraveled before my eyes.
I really don't know who's posts I like reading more/ scares me the most, dixiebandit's or ballsack's. Seriously though, what. the fuck. I've done some weird things, I've had ideas of weird things, but never have I ever thought, "Gee, I bet putting an 8-ball in there before I pound away will REALLY make her toes curl." Not to mention, unless you have a 3 inch dick, how did you not feel that? An 8-ball has what, a two inch and some change circumference? And an average vagina is about 6 inches, right? How was your dick not a crumpled mess?
Vaginas are very, very stretchy. It's also not a direct cervix-to-outside path, there's some extra vagina around the cervix.
Thanks for the explaination, Crazy Wolf. Ok, some background on the situation: This was after she had our son (9 pounds, 6 ounces, head like a grapefruit); even if it had been before she passed our son, vaginas are very elastic, as has been mentioned. As far as what was going through my head: What can I say? We were always very "Creative" in bed; it was one of the only aspects of our relationship where we always got along. To get it out, she squatted down and somehow pulled it out after some trial and error.
I think I found video of Bandit and his woman: http://www.efukt.com/2350_The_Indestructible_Vagina.html (obviously NWS) Play Ball!! Honestly I always wanted to see a woman vagina-poop an 8-ball. Is there any significance in the 8-ball? Why not a striped 13? Do you even play pool?
[/quote] Wow. I'm a bit..adventurous but if I'm not sure how I'm going to remove it, I won't insert it. Last thing I want is to be in an E.R. trying to explain accidently falling on my pool table at a "funny" angle.
Great, now all I can think about is your ex one-upping people who play ping-pong. It'd be most impressive if she could get a clean break with the cue ball.
My new girlfriend is a virgin (!), I'm going to abuse the SHIT out of her inexperience. Not literal shit though, that's gross.
Bell...I am your fucker. Look in your snatch, you know it be true. In my picture collection I have a GIF somewhere of a giner that suddenly stretches reaaaally wide and ginapoops a nerf football. Come to think of it, I also have a picture of an ass that slowly spits out a double ender that's at least 2 feet long. Obviously I took the opportunity to not only speed it up, but also to reverse it so it looks like an army of 2 foot dildos climbing into an ass. I also have a GIF of a man with a shaved head shoving his whole head into a woman who looks on bemused. If I had more than 2 minutes left to edit my post I'd totally look for the pictures.
Dude, I understand that the vagina is really stretchy. What I don't understand is why you didn't have to go to the ER for the dreaded "smashed dick" disease.
c'mon man. what century are you living in and how unprogressive are you. I love smashing my dick into thermoset resin. It's the shit. that finger in the asshole thing is old news, this is where it's at yeah since I'm drunk I don't know how to do that uber cool thing where you put a link into mid sentence with normal words. http://ask.yahoo.com/20000727.html So there
SANTA'S HERE AND HE BROUGHT PRESENTS Ok, I lied, but I'm here and I brought images, which is arguably even better. Bell, this one's for you. It's sort of related. NSFW And the rest of you get a ragtag assortment of images that are vaguely related to the topic at hand, as per normal. And I've even individually wrapped each image in its own NSFW tag so you don't get hit with a shotgun blast of OMGWTFBBQ all at once. You're welcome. Whisk: NSFW The GIF I edited: NSFW Shaved head dude: NSFW I even got you people at work a present. Here's one censored to the point of SFW. And the original: NSFW
Well, dixiebandit69's post didn't do it, but Allord's most recent post did...thanks for the images. Now, I'm going to go see if one of my dogs is willing to claw out my eyes. I might actually have to consider gender reassignment. Jesus Christ.