So the recent themes on this board seem to be positive topics where we all discuss things we like, I think it's high time we go back to our roots: drinking the hater aide, randomly grouping large sums of people we don't take the time to relate to and shitting on their ideals for no other reason than personal amusement. Focus: What are the groups of people that give off a vibe of smugness that makes your blood boil? Well traveled people that think their expeditions make them better than everyone else - Don't get me wrong, I love traveling, and I love immersing myself in new cultures, but I know that spending two weeks in Honduras doesn't make me qualified to speak on the behalf of an entire nation of people and their plight. Listen asshole, you're still white and you still go back home to a town with more than one bathroom. Stop talking like you can relate to these people and that you feel their pain, you can't. Also stop acting like you have a superior perception of the world just because you can circle more areas on the globe that you've been to than the guy next to you, you smug piece of shit. Life long liberal arts academics - I get it, you think that 'learning for the sake of learning' is the greatest good in the world. You're a fucking moron, take the same amount of money you spent on your worthless education and spend it on world travel, I guarantee you will learn more about people doing that than you ever will in a classroom you antisocial, pasty faced, financial leach of an adult piece of shit, I hope all of your future children die of rabies. Fitness 'gurus' - I get it, I'm a fat slob and you have 6 pack abs with bigger biceps than me- oh what's that, you don't know what deadlifting is? Seriously, get the fuck out of here you moron, I don't care if the lump in your arm is bigger than mine, if you can't life 300 pounds off the ground, I am much stronger than you, shut your fucking mouth when it comes to strength training.
Oh...oh God, there are just so many choices. Where do I begin? Let's start with this month. And just for fun, we can do it Real Men of Genius style. Today, I salute you, Mr. B-School Grad. I know you spent two hard years of night classes learning how to make PowerPoint presentations about how you and your classmates are the most important people in any organization. Without you there would be no original thought since the remainder of us are simply mindless automata just biding our time until the invention of slightly-more-capable machines that will inevitably replace us. Without you to go out of your way to set up a pithy Facebook introduction between me and another distant acquaintance on the opposite coast who does something vaguely similar to what I do, where would my opportunities come from? How would I possibly get along day-to-day? How would I fill my time? Luckily, I have you there for me, Mr. B-School Grad, forcing me to build a flimsy and useless social network whether I like it or not. I cannot forget you, Mr. Domain Expert Who Learned All of Software Engineering in A Single College Course 25 Years Ago. That's right, the one class you took in Pascal programming in 1985 has totally prepared you to develop modern software. Based on that one experience, you have been able to both extrapolate and dismiss 25 years of "advances" in the field with a single masterstroke. You certainly don't need to consult anyone who will try to flim-flam you with a bunch of new cock-a-mamie ideas. After all, once you've learned a little bit about rocket science, everything else must be trivially easy. I also salute you, Mr. IT Security Guy. Thank God for you and your compatriots, the first, last, and only line of defense between us and a completely and utterly raped and pillaged network. It's clear that your job is incredibly hard, because every new request to do something useful for the company requires extensive review, and you have to make up new criteria for each one. It's so subtle and complex that it would be literally impossible for you to make up requirements in advance and write them down. We peons probably wouldn't even be able to understand the language you would write them in. Let's not forget you, Mr. Guitar Center Guy. When I was just a wee lad barely forming chords on my instrument, you treated me like a gigantic retard every time I wasn't 100% sure what I wanted. Whether I knew it at the time or not, this pushed me to work hard, learning and practicing for years and years. Now, when I walk in knowing exactly what I want and what I'm talking about, you still treat me like a gigantic retard. Thanks for keeping all the amateur musicians of the world humble, Mr. Guitar Center Guy. ~ ~ ~ (I'm exaggerating about most of the above. Sorta.)
The Ungrateful Recipients of Assistance. At one time or another in your life, you will be in a position where you will need some sort of assistance. Whether or not you get that assistance will come down to an individual making a "will I" or "won't I" decision. I hope that you are humble and appreciative of that assistance, and for those of you who aren't, fuck you and I hope you die from scabies. It really pisses me off when people go out of their way to help others (and I"m not talking about for financial gain or anything), and then the recipients get all pissy and take on a self-entitlement air about themselves. It's amazing how much a simple smile and "thank you" is worth. Never mind those people that look down upon servicemen and women. I"m not talking about military types, but those people that spend their day doing work for others; cable men, electricians, concrete guys, what have you. Treat them nicely and with respect, unless you have some good cause for not doing so. But if you treat them without respect, or as if they are beneath you, then fuck you.
Bartenders Over the years I have met some good people that are bartenders, but collectively you may as well meet the new Ground Zero for Smug: bartenders. Guess what? Cocktail was a phenomenally shitty film, but that's all it took for legions of assholes to believe that they are literally the coolest person on earth, ignoring people waving money at them so they can discount hot chicks that are suckering them successfully for drinks. You're job is EASY. A retard could do it (in fact, I've actally seen that, so there) yet you expect to be tipped more than a dollar for flicking the cap off a FUCKING BEER BOTTLE? You treat anybody without cleavage with utter contempt and you then charge $10 for a vodka/redbull and you keep the last half of the can. Oh, and thank you for giving $20 back in small loose change as a reminder to tip you since you just oh-so busted your ass for me. Here's a tip: Get a job where you work for a living instead of charging a drunk person full price for a third of a shot. The bar back works harder than you (fact) and you steal from him.
I just posted about this in the Christmas thread. I too got a big head once I had been doing the Mikes Beginner Program for a while. I looked down on all the young brats doing bicep curls on the squat racks. But honestly I've heard to many smug people, that don't have the same goals, bitching about how other people aren't working out right because they don't do X,Y,Z. Sweet dude you want to be able to deadlift Honda civics competitively, not everyone at the fucking gym has that goal in mind. Get over yourself. As for bartenders. Yes they do make more than they deserve over the more physical demands of the barbacks, but you aren't tipping them for the labor, you are tipping for the service. If they skimp on the liquor or pays more attention to the chick with huge tits (something I defy ANYONE not to do), then don't tip them. Plus, the more hot chicks you can keep around a bar, the more popular that bar is. Plain and simple girls draw in the money. Their job is much more glamorous than waiters/waitress but in the long run they don't get payed that much more, if they do at all. You also wouldn't believe the amount of bullshit you have to deal with when working around drunk fucking assholes who have big heads and fragile egos. I used to be pissed at the bouncers/bar staff when they'd be dick heads pushing everyone out at closing. After doing that job I realized how fucking hard you have to be on drunk people to get them to do anything. There is no such thing as polite reasoning to drunk people.
Along the lines of "Well traveled people that think their expeditions make them better than everyone else " ... In Melbourne , Australia its people that go snow skiing and/or snowboarding. We do not get much snow in Australia and those that make it up to the snowfields and pay the ridiculously overpriced fees for everything make sure they tell everyone they possibly can how great their snow trip was. Well fuck you snowbunny; I hope you crack your skull next time you go there.
Fuck you, party-line political pseudo-pundits: These neanderthals are often found on the Internet. The same people who decry the words of Rush Limbaugh, Glen Beck or Keith Olbermann are themselves blind supporters of whatever their party of choice is doing on Capitol Hill. Normal, sane human beings are not political extremists, and those people you see on TV are characters cultivated precisely to convince you that politics are a black-white/left-right issue. Somehow you're a traitor to the lunatic tribe if you support both sound public fiscal policy and a woman's right to choose. [Feel free to remove if too political] Along the same lines, Internet boycotting "activists". My favorite recent example was the wannabe crunchy granolas who threatened to boycott their mecca, Whole Foods, due to the CEO's WSJ editorial in which he proposed an innovative solution to the health insurance debacle would be more likely to come from the private sector. Since your choice to shop organic obviously goes hand-in-hand with your staunch support of the Public Option, John Mackey's opinions must fall in line, right? Going on Digg and pleading with 500 people to boycott a business is laughable at best, and since that's as far as your lazy ass is willing to take it, it's a complete failure on your part, yet you still award yourself a false sense of accomplishment.
Is there any group more smug than Hipsters?. What a group of self-entitled assholes living off the parental dime. They are the close cousin of Liberal Arts Academics because theyve read some obscure philosophy book and now theyre better than you. And forget about asking these people for help on anything, especially physically. The average hipster male weighs about 130 lbs and has to be careful when there is a light breeze. When I visit my friends in Brooklyn, unfortunately theres fucking hipsters everywhere, thumbing their noses because Im not wearing tight jeans or an ironic t-shirt. Fucking cocksuckers. Id love to pummel the next one that talked shit to me, but the fights they put up are just too sad and bizarre to even bother with: Im pretty sure this video has been posted elsewhere, but its worth repeating.
I know they've seemingly gotten better since other hybrids have come out, but Prius drivers. Thaaaaaanks!
Consumer Advocates [in Australia] Righto fuckwads, for some reason you seem to be on the protected species list. You smugly proclaim that you are the voice of the consumer and have the utmost moral high ground. Except, there's one little problem: you don't fucking know what the consumer wants. You pretend you think you know what they want. First of all you lie and cheat while you manipulate the statistics. When you actually do some research, you ignore the data and ascribe your own opinions to it... even when it contradicts the answers you got. You then claim that as empirical evidence and justification of your pinko stance. Then you take 10 complaints, call it qualitative research, and decry industry as soul sucking demons on the basis of this number. When you're challenged to ask what that number is in relation to all possible circumstances, you've got no idea. Because you haven't bothered to research it to find out. Then you go right back to arguing the 10 as if it makes no difference how many people are neutral or happy with their experience. You're willing to change the way things work because of 10 people who probably couldn't tie their shoelaces, and inconvenience and disadvantage what is more than tens of thousands more? Get fucked.
Add to that, people who think that living in a specific place make them more cultured. Yes, I'm talking about those irritating New Yorkers who think because they live in the same city as a bunch of museums, they are automatically art critics, drama critics, etc. No, not all of them are like that, but it seems there is a bunch of younger people there who think they are intellectually superior just because they are New Yorkers.
Vegans. Not to be confused with vegetarians. I can handle vegetarians. I can eat their food for a solid week (mainly because of the cheese) and the glaring hypocrisy most of them have towards eating fish is kind of funny. However the vegan is a smug, vicious, sanctimonious little cunt hair. Downright militant towards anyone that doesn't share their view that animals are meant to be cuddled and anyone that fishes, goes to a grocery store that isn't Whole Foods, or even uses "hamburger" in a sentence should be ostracized. Veganism is not even for health reasons. The vegans I know are rail thin and look malnourished. They get no fat or protein (nevermind the GALLONS of booze they take down in a week). I'm not even sure it's about animal cruelty for them. They enjoy the contrarian station in society; nothing idealogical about it, just something to rail against with a ridiculous sense of superiority. I swear the conversations with my vegan pals would have turned to blows if I didn't smile and nod. Remember, you don't know how it is, you haven't read the things I have or watched the same documentaries. I've noticed most of these people are Hipsters as well. There is a co-morbidity for those disorders it seems. And they ARE disorders. In 20 years both will be in the DSMV.
On my 21st birthday my buddies (minus the driver) and I all were doing car bombs at a bar. We finished a round and motioned to the bartender that we would like another, he turned to us and told us to settle down and just went back to a conversation with some random customer, didn't bring us our next round for another 10 minutes (felt like 10 hours). I've only done this twice in my life but we stiffed him on half the tab. What a fucking self important prick, you're on the clock, fucking work you asshole. I went vegan for a month for the sole purpose of being a pompous cock towards meat eaters, I wanted to cut my own throat by the end of it. The hate is strong in me.
What are the groups of people that give off a vibe of smugness that makes your blood boil? People who dismiss other groups and subcultures with sweeping generalizations. It comes across as being really narrow-minded, hypocritical, and smug. Get the fuck over yourselves. I'm sure there are plenty of people who can't look at YOU without wanting to punch something.
Contrarian bitches who espouse the very smugness that is being discussed in this thread. Yes, you're in better shape than all of us. Yes! You know more about effective workouts than anyone. You are the best trainer around. Yes your bum wheel has to be the worst injury sustained while maintaining a perfect 4.0. The reason you need to defend the 'sweeping generalizations' in the thread is because at least one group in these rants represents you and you can't help but feel quietly singled out. Save it for rep? Nah. This is about smugness. The post fits the bill. Oh and generalizations are just that. Know why black jokes contain various witticisms about love of fried chicken, drugs, watermelon and laziness? Because we do love chicken, drugs, watermelon and sitting around. It's just how we get down. Odd that when I hear them I have to contain some small anger and need to rage about them. Its because it touches on something that is mildly true and that I try not to highlight about myself because I am "Oh so much more than a generalization". Edit to say: Oh and one more thing. No one said anything about dismissing sub-cultures. In fact I'm pretty sure that in his post about Vegans CharlesJohnson mentioned that the people he was talking about were his friends. So generalizations? Sweeping statements? I think you need to as my mother used to say "Get cho mu'fucking people straight"
I have two. Motards. Yes, we know that you've graduated boot camp. Congratulations. Guess what - so did everyone else here! You're on a military base! So why the hell are you wearing a 7.62 OORAH KILL BABIES shirt tucked into your jeans with an enormous horseshoe belt buckle, your Final Drill combat boots, your dog tags HANGING OUT, and a USMC baseball cap? What made you think that it was okay to wear that? One of the greatest sites in the world is Look at This Fucking Hipster. Someone needs to create Look At This Fucking Boot. And slightly related - motarded parents. Okay, so your kid is in the service. Great. You must be proud, and that's fine. But do you have to deck your car out in SEMPER FI crap with the bumper stickers, "PROUD MARINE MOM," wear the "My Son Graduated From 1st Bn" sweatshirt all the time, and so on? Shit, some of those cars I've seen look more decked out than the general's car, and he has FUCKING FLAGS on his car. I Took A Martial Arts Class, So I Can Kick Your Ass. I know a LOT of guys who do martial arts. I found that the better you get at it, the more humble you become. So the guys who go around with Tapout and Affliction shirts must not be very good... Just that attitude of "I do MMA, you'd better acknowledge my awesomeness" makes me want to throw a guy through a wall. I don't know much martial arts, but it doesn't take much expertise to be able to break your jaw. It happens in the Marines too. "Ooo look at me, I have a green belt." Dude, a green belt takes about a month to get, and you're acting like you're tough shit. There's a reason that people spend YEARS learning a martial art - it's complicated. MCMAP is great and all, but it's supposed to be a base for learning - it's a taste, not a meal. You can't master a martial art by doing some sustainment training and getting hazed in the rubber pit.
Professional Travelers You know them. They are the poeple sporting black suits in line at the airport pulling an impossibly small carryon bag that they somehow managed to cram a weeks worth of shit into. They sigh loudly when the middle aged guy who travels twice a year forgets to take his watch off and sets off the metal detector. They have turned passing security into an art: bag on table, laptop and liquids out, shoes off, jacket in seperate bin annnnnnnnnd slowly through the metal detector. Hey, asswipe, here's an idea: trying showing up more then 35 minutes before departure and maybe you wont have to act like such a douchebag. Sincerely, The guy who travels 50% of the time and still can't stand you.
Imagine having the freedom of selecting another profession. I always tip either $1 per drink if paying cash or minimum 25-30% on a tab, so this "wah some people don't tip" shit doesn't fly with me. Yes, bar patrons can be cocksuckers but those bartenders who fancy themselves holy gatekeepers are just as bad. I don't mind at all bartenders who are extremely busy and don't notice that I'm waiting for a drink for 10 minutes. I'm at a bar, not serving myself, so I can be patient. It's the ones as previously described who will tell you to chill out while chatting up another customer or coworker who can eat a dick. I don't expect stellar service given the environment, but I do expect the same level of respect I give to them, especially in the dive bars and live music bars I frequent (i.e. not dark, deafening dance clubs) FOCUS: Children (i.e. age <= 14) playing online videogames. I get it, you have at most 3 friends, all of whom play this game with you online. You get home from school and you pop in COD or Halo for 9 hours a day, because neither you nor your parents see the benefit in sunlight, homework or physical activity. They obviously don't see the value in teaching you manners either, because you use your shrill voice to shreak the most hate-filled, expletive and racial epithet ridden shit I've ever heard. Yes, you're probably much better than me at this game. Unfortunately work, exercise, drinking and fucking tend to interfere with my fragging schedule. You little cretins are largely what's wrong with online multiplayer.