You get three questions

My girlfriend's mother has a belief that, when you die, you get to stand before whatever God you believe in, and ask 3 questions that have plagued you, and you'll be given answers. I asked her what her questions were and she said, "Who killed Jon Benet? What happened to D.B. Cooper? And where is MH370?"

Focus: You're dead, standing before whatever God you do (or don't - just play along) believe in, and you're allowed 3 questions. What do you ask?

This guy has his first question already sorted:

 

1. Why?

2. Can I have some superpowers?

3. Why not?

I do have a fantasy that I get to see ALL the animals that have existed since the dawn of time. When I think of the full spectrum of evolution and to be able to see all of that, my inner-Attenborough gets a Malaysian trident wood.

 

1. So there's about ten thousand of you gods, what do you all have against sex?
2. Why didn't you put aliens on mars? That would have been cool, why didn't you do that?
3. Can you send me back with a 30 inch penis and let me live out a life as the world's most hilarious porn star? Please?

 

Cool . . . clouds.

1. Why do the righteous suffer / bad things happen to good people?

2. If you're all powerful, where does evil come from?

3. Did you create everything just like you wanted, or just start the wheels in motion, because armadillos, WTF?

 

1) What's with giving men nips?

2) Why do Bruce Willis and Demi Moore's daughters look like that?

3) How hard did you laugh when you pulled that little practical joke on Abraham?

 

1) Why did you design predation? It's a messy process, often amongst big mammalian carnivores the prey is still alive when they start to feed on it, and for a while, it was one of my posited reasons why you did not exist.

2) Why did you make humans primates? You could have made us cat-folk. Or lizards. Fungus. Elephants. Why a near-hairless running ape? Also in the same vein, why did you take so long to figure out which type of human you wanted to have as the main type for the post-Pleistocene times?

3)How come you only let the dinosaurs who could fly and that had feathers live after K-T?

 

1) Do you really give a shit about gay sex, weed, and other shit people do that doesn't affect any body else?

2) Seriously where the fuck are the aliens?

3) Do most of the churches dedicated to you embarrass you as much as I think they would?

 

1. In all of human history, who has actually been the most evil?

2. What human achievement or action has made you the most proud and why?

3. What are 5 wrong decisions I made that had the most negative impact on my life?

 

1. What sorts of punishment do you have lined up for Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson?
2. Does it really matter to you which sports team/athlete wins or how they perform?
3. Are you really watching us, like, ALL of the time, and if so how much Scotch do you drink to forget what you've seen?*


*yes, I know that was two questions, go pound sand.

 

I know the chick with three boobes turned out to be fake, but, I do think it brought into question your design practices.

Is this an improvement we can expect to see on future models?

Why didn't you make the Earth more elliptical and its axis slightly closer to the sun? It would have more evenly distributed the climates and increased inhabitable area while maintaining the structural integrity of the planet

Why design the white boy with such low levels of vertical acceleration and then a sport in which said physical attribute is such an absolute must if an athlete expects to have any success in it? That's just cruel, someone made a movie about it.

 

FOCUS:

1) Why not make it obvious you exist instead of relying on (generally misguided/misinformed) people to represent you?
2) Psychics/ESP/Etc... Does the human brain really have the ability to do that type of thing, and if so, how do we tap into it?
3) Why allow evil?