I went to the Australian version of Cancun this weekend, and found myself in a club. I was alone for a few minutes waiting on the girls to enter and leave the bathroom as a group. While alone, I was approached and "interviewed" by three hookers. Short story is I've never dealt with hookers, much less been offered one's services. Welcome to Asia, make sure it's a woman. What ensued was a discussion between the Girlfriend, co-workers and I about hookers and the policies therein. Focus: Hooker stories. Alt focus: The Girlfriend said she'd prefer that I have a million one-night stands to a single prostitute. I said what if I'd been with a hooker, but I paid her in cosmopolitans? Is this a dealbreaker for the TIBettes? When is paying for some action acceptable?
A buddy of mine is a Marine. Being a Marine, he works with some dirty fuckers. One guy in particular tops them all. This guy would get a hooker, and I shit you not, eat her out.
When I was in Costa Rica, spending a weekend in a town that was most well known for its hookers and cocaine, I was out at a bar/club when a hooker approached me asking if I would be the third in the threesome her client was requesting. It was one of the weirdest things that has ever happened to me. (I declined.) Actually, it was really strange, I got asked to be in five threesomes by complete strangers throughout the course of the trip. I even asked some friends I made "Hey, have you been asked to be in a threesome here?" because I thought maybe it was a cultural thing they didn't write up in the guidebooks. They hadn't, so I guess I'm just lucky. Anyway, I would most likely break things off with a guy if I found out they have or have had a hooker habit. It's just gross. And I'd be much more upset if a boyfriend or husband cheated on me with a hooker than a regular person, which I'm aware could be strange since there's little to no chance of any feelings being involved. It just seems more deliberate to me. With an affair with a, um, nonprofessional women, there are all sorts of situations where someone can get wrapped up in "the moment" or whatever, but with a hooker it's like you have to get in your car, take out a bunch of money, seek out a hooker, and pay to cheat on your wife. I don't know, I'm running out the door or I might elaborate. But I'll leave it at that.
A friend of mine 'escorts' through a legal brothel. A blow job and sex are standard, kissing, watching her masturbate, anal sex, going down on her, etc, are all extras. You pay by the hour for the included sex and blow job, and then buy extras, mostly at $50 an included act. By far the most common extra she gets paid to let guys do, or to go down on her. Far and away the most common. I know of times when she's had to kick a guy who'd gotten her off through oral sex out before he'd gotten off because they ran out of time and he didn't have the money to extend. Even if she wanted to give the guy a break, house rules are that you pay or gtfo when time is up. I am curious where Australian Cancun is. Kho Pha Ngan in Thailand?Kuta in Bali? The Gold Coast? Cairns? New Zealand? The avatar I recently changed was a picture drawn by a bar girl in Patpong, the red light entertainment district of Bangkok in Thailand. It was a magical evening in a bar called 'Superpussy'. I'd been in town long enough to kind of tune out the smell of raw sewage running through the rivers, but not so long that the street food smelled appealing. We walked in and had a beer and watched a reasonably pretty girl peel a banana with her toes and place it into her vagina with her feet, toss that banana out of her vagina, through the air and then kick off the spinning pole, slide across the stage on her back to catch the banana in her mouth. Then this older, really busted looking chick comes out on stage, and points at me. I'm sitting far enough back from the stage to figure that this isn't the kind of show you need a poncho for - so I nod for her to go ahead. She pulls out a sharpie, wrapped in gauze for extra grip I presume, stuffs it into her vagina, squats over a piece of paper and draws a fairly recognizable profile portrait of me. Then she writes 'Welcome to Thailand' in calligraphy that puts my hand writing to shame. I tipped her about $10 aussie dollars worth of local currency to buy the picture afterward. She looked like a kid at christmas.
Kuta, Bali. I'm actually kind of offended, I spent three days there last month and no hookers approached me! Back on track, when I was 19 I experimented with the whole hooker thing. Although it's not something I'd do again I think the stigma attached to it in the US is pretty ridiculous. Suffice to say that I've fucked a few hookers, and have gotten off scott-free with no STDs. By and large the girls were above my league in the looks department, and the sex ranged from "meh" to amazing. The best time I had was a $100 threesome in Bangkok.
I'd rather a guy I was with had patronized a clean hooker than a million one-night stands. They tend to be very adamant about protection and getting tested. I think the problem stems from the stereotype of the "dirty hooker" who looks like a breeding ground for infection. I don't see the problem in paying for sex. Sometimes you just want to cut out all the bullshit and get laid, and do so with someone who probably isn't going to insult you (as long as your money's good).
Never been with one, and don't have any interest. However, I do have a funny hooker story. Spoiler Back when I was in college, I was having a party at my parent's place and invited my manager at the time. He was about my age and a pretty cool guy. He called about 45 minutes before showing up to ask if he could bring a friend. The more the merrier and all of that--it was cool with me. So he shows up. He's about 5'7", 150lbs. soaking wet, and asian. She was a 6'6" black chick who looked like she could shoulder press him with no problem. It was hilarious. They walked into the garage where we were all playing games and it was a total record-scratch moment. A lone ping pong ball rolled off of the table, bounced for what seemed like forever, and came to a rest before anyone a word. About 10 minutes later, my mom came out with a tray of wings and almost dropped them on the floor when she saw her. She motioned for me to come inside. Mom: Who brought the fucking hooker to our house? Me: [manager], but don't worry. She's cool, and if she starts trying to turn tricks or starts fucking [manager] in the pool, she's gone. Mom: Jesus Christ... I gotta hand it to him, though, she was a pretty cool hooker. She played games with us and just had a fun time. At one point, my manager looked at his watch and quickly dragged her aside. He called to me across the back yard that he had to go and away they went. I'm guessing he was paying by the hour and realized he might've gotten down to his last twenty without getting laid yet.
I lived in Shanghai for a year and though it was probably technically illegal the authorities just look the other way. It was one of the biggest cultural shocks I had seeing the difference in perceptions towards prostitution. There was basically no stigma attached. I think because there was none it wasn't restricted to either toothless crack heads or expensive escorts as it is in most of the united states. There were a few hooker bars in a bar district in one part of town, nice part of town, actually decent bars. You could fuck serious dime pieces. Honestly, a majority of hookers were from Vietnam or Thailand and were serious stunners and looked a hell of a lot better than the chinese girls. They also spoke perfect english, I mean flawless. Hardly any of them actually drank either. Outside of the cathouse show on HBO and Elliot Spitzer's whooooooier I have only seen the toothless crack head Aileen Wournos types when living near UC's campus, a very rough area. I never actually pulled the trigger.* The closest I ever came wasn't even by choice. I had been out drinking at a regular club. There was a single prostitute that would wait outside and try and shoe horn her way into cabs with dudes while her queen bee madam waited on the sidewalk. I was fucking hammered and hoped in a cab she got in the other side and said she needed a ride home. I was to drunk at the time and didn't realize till about a block later what her game was. I got out of the cab at my place telling her I wasn't interested. She thought this was a negotiation and started bargaining offering "everything" for 200 Quai (about 30 bucks). I stopped the taxi driver from leaving and told him to take her back to the bar. She asked if I'd at least pay for the taxi ride back, I refused and the taxi sped off with her. I do have plenty of pictures of the bars with these whhooooooiers though. I always tell women who don't think that it would be a bad idea to legalize it that it would erode their sexual playing hand even more as they'd have to compete now with hookers. I think like Shanghai a bunch of third world immigrants would come up from Central and South America and you'd have to be competing with this: A fat old British dude in a wolf shirt can take home a 10 (she was if the picture isn't clear). * I just didn't have the income to justify spending money on hookers when I was there. Even though it was relatively cheap I just didn't have the cash.
I'll keep this brief, then pipe down. As I repped Roxanne, I think the definition of a hooker comes into play. Are we talking about the stereotypical hooker on a street corner, the one that'll fuck sans rubber for an extra $5? Even I would be hesitant to date or fuck a guy with such discerning tastes. But high end escorts cost as much as they do for several reasons: serious hygiene, extensive primping, no drama (including stalking) and (hopefully) decent conversation. I doubt most guys get that from even half of the one night stands they pick up at a bar or frat party. I don't know what brothel Scootah's friend works at, but if it operates as I hear Stiletto in Sydney does, clients are looked over for indication of health and hygiene, and protection isn't negotiable. Again, I question how many of these factors fall by the wayside during a booze- or hormone-fueled hookup. Also, performing oral on girls is huge amongst clients that frequent escorts. A lot of forty-something guys want to feel as though the twenty-something girl they're with is actually enjoying the session instead of just going through the motions. In the end, most guys pay for sex somehow. Just because it's not a direct cash-for-ass transaction doesn't mean it's suddenly magical... Or safe... Or clean...
I've never been interested in hookers, but I always thought a lot of the stigma surrounding it is silly. There seems to be two big misconceptions that are the most common. 1. Guys who fuck hookers do it because they can't get laid. - Definitely not true. A lot of people I knew in Beijing were actually really good with women and still fucked hookers occasionally. Why? Mostly because they didn't want to deal with the hassle I guess, or they just wanted to find out how hookers fucked and what it was like to bone someone with absolutely no prelude. 2. Every hooker has an std. - Sure, a lot of hookers are dumb, but few are so stupid that they don't insist on protection. I mean, yes there is more risk than an average hook up, but they don't automatically have an STD and if you wear a condom you're pretty safe. I always thought prostitution should be legal, and I honestly think it probably would be if our government didn't hold 'Christian values.' Yeah, they say separation of church and state, but that seems very blurry at times. Besides, it's kind of hypocritical to say porn is legal and not prostitution. It's not like they're being paid for their acting skills.
All of us pay for sex; the lucky ones pay with cash, the rest of us pay with little pieces of our soul.
Age is a much better probability indicator than a history of sex work for Herpes. Geography of residence is a much better indicator for HIV. Membership of a Sorority is probably a better indicator for a history of gonorrhea. I'm just speculating on that last one. Here in Aus, prostitution is legal for the most part - but hookers have to get very regular (3 monthly) and very comprehensive STI testing and be certified to work. Brothel Operators will look the other way on tax reporting, immigration status and lots and lots of other things - but their girls all meet testing requirements or they just do not work. The fines are insane - and auditors, who also ignore immigration status and tax reporting, do check and give out fines to girls and operators who don't follow the testing rules. Compared to the minefield of 30 something bar sluts who get tested every 3 years when they have a pregnancy scare, most first world, high class sex workers are a pristine field of sunshine and hope. Street walkers of course are a very different kettle. And I'm reluctant to fuck anyone in the third world, let alone sex workers.
If you ever want to kill some time in the most fun way possible, you must pay the Red Light District in Amsterdam a thorough visit. Yes, it's a tourist trap, but what a hoot. It's a blast to walk around and gaze at the various "wares", some of them are Hawaiian Tropic model-grade hot, others are gigantic black trannies armed with tribal spears (really). It's fun to watch the various bachelor parties from the UK drunkenly daring each other to go in with a hooker, since to get a sucky/fucky you enter through the glass window from the street in front of the hundreds of tourists passing by. For me it was easy to resist any temptation while there since I was with my 5-month pregnant wife. People still tried to sell her blow, though. She thought it was hilarious. Just beware of the blue light windows. That's the Ladyboy indicator, and some of them are frighteningly female-looking. Also, don't take a wrong turn or you'll end up in some of the scariest-looking nighttime neighbourhoods you'll ever see.
A friend of mine got a 200 euro fine for public urination in the Amsterdam red light district. The police office who wrote him up pointed out that it would have been 150 euro cheaper to go and urinate on a hooker in the building right next to the alley he was pissing in. Amsterdam is awesome.
If you are a tourist in Amsterdam (or any foreign country for that matter), how do you handle a situation like that? Could you skip out on the fine since you aren’t a citizen, and presumably won’t be in the country in a week or so? What if you showed the cops a fake ID so they couldn’t trace you? How far will they chase you for a 200 Euro fine? The only foreign country I’ve been to is Mexico, and supposedly you can pay off the cops for low level offenses (speeding, drug possession, not having proper paperwork at state checkpoints, etc. I wouldn’t know, because whenever I go to Mexico, I am on my best behavior. I’ve been stopped by the Mexican military to search my car for guns and/or drugs, and nothing happened. That’s right, I didn’t get extorted. Don’t believe everything you hear/read about Mexico.). I’ve never had to pay anyone off, so I don’t know. FOCUS: I’ve never paid for a sex act in my life (not directly anyway; I have gone out with a few women who only seemed to be interested in how much money I was going to spend on them. These days, I avoid such “women” (or whores, however you want to classify them) like the plague. Every prostitute that I’ve ever run across has either been: A) fat; B) ugly; C) a disgusting drug addict; D) FUCKING STUPID; or E) all of the above. Prostitution is legal in Mexico. I know many guys who have gone/go to “Boys’ Town” in Reynosa, Tamaulipas, and they have invited me along, and even offered to pay my way (on account of how cheap the liquor and whores were), but their descriptions of the experience sound terrible: You pay the minimum price, about $25, and you get to fuck a reasonably sexy girl with a condom IN ONLY ONE POSITION FOR A TIME LIMIT OF 30 MINUTES. You have to pay more for each position, or for an extention. I'm just not going to do that.
I really don't know if you're trolling at this point. If you can go to Amsterdam for a weekend, you can pay the fucking fine. If it was a few hundred k, you might duck out of europe and never go back I guess, but for 200? Fuck it, just pay them so that you don't have hassles throughout the EU or next time you try and re-enter Amsterdam for work or a holiday because of a stupid public urination fine. It's not like they'd extradite you over it. But they can be a pain in your ass for a really long time. And when you're traveling internationally, a pain in the ass might not be metaphorical. Look, it's not that I'm saying it's DEFINITELY the geographic area that you live in and rough social circles that you seem to associate with - but are those characteristics perhaps really fucking common in the so southern that Texans tell white trash jokes about you, trailer park where your stories take place? I'm just curious.
Why do you guys have to shit talk about Dixie up there? It's not like he can help being the way he is, it took many years of molding to get like this. Blame the society he comes from right?
Dude, she wasn't a hooker. She was just a normal girl ill prepared for the devastating pussy magnet that is the Wolf Shirt. (Check the link; it's one of my favourite things of all time.) Ahem. Hooker stories. Shockingly, mine are from Vegas. 1. Here in Perth, strippers are mostly unattractive, and very sensitive about the perceived link between stripping and hooking. If you imply they are hookers, you will get slapped, regardless of if they do, in fact, hook. (Strippers invented cognitive dissonance). Also, generally speaking you absolutely cannot touch them under pain of bouncer beating, and it's generally a very controlled and regulated environment. Imagine my surprise when I hit a strip club in Vegas and saw incredibly attractive women, and, when I asked about the rules, was initially told "we don't like to talk about rules here" and, after much pushing, got "you can do everything short of 'checking the oil'". This is how I ended up in a skybox in Sapphire with 2 strippers and a $400 bottle of champagne. I don't drink champagne. Anyway, after an hour or so, the strippers said "Ok Aussie, it's $1,000 for us to come back to your hotel room for the night." I was stunned, and totally speechless. I said something like "I don't have $1k for random sex, sorry", at which point they started dropping their prices. I think their final offer was $400, but I had already fled by that point. 2. Same night, I went back to the casino I was staying at. Wandering through the lobby, I run into someone almost as drunk as me with a bottle of Jaeger in hand. He says "come to my room, I'm having a party". Sounds good to me, and as we head back to his room, we run into two girls. He starts chatting them up, and they agree to come party as well. I'm thinking "holy shit this guy's awesome". We get back to the room and one of the girls says "the Aussie has no idea, does he?" I'm drunk and arrogant, and I say "pffft whatever, I've got this shit under control". We get to his room and there are 5 other Mexican dudes, all wife beaters, bling, and bad tatts, and one hugely obese Mexican woman who seemed to have some sort of authority. One of the girls says "$100 for everything", and the guy with the jaeger takes her into the bathroom and starts fucking her. So here I am, clean cut white guy in collared shirt with 5 guys who have clearly come from a different lifestyle and a hooker, listening to another hooker get violently fucked against a bathroom sink. It wasn't unlike that scene from Training Day, actually. I still have no idea what 6 guys and 1 woman were doing in 1 room, I was obviously missing some subtext. They told me they were a rap group, but I have my doubts. Anyway, I'm still hammered and friendly, so I drink with these guys for a while, until the remaining hooker wants me to take her back to my room. I respectfully decline and try my masterful persuasion abilities, convincing her that she doesn't want to leave her friend, and that with 5 guys remaining, surely someone will be interested. I should perhaps mention this girl was perhaps 4 feet tall and at least 3.5 feet around, resembling nothing so much as an unfortunately flabby bowling bowl. I went back to my room and passed out, totally bemused by the whole thing. 3. My best friend growing up was hardcore Baptist. We went to Phuket and headed to the nearest bar. He drunkenly rang a bell that was located next to his seat. Apparently this was the 'summon prostitute' bell, because every working girl/ladyboy in a 100 foot radius rushed to the table and he had to buy them each a shot. Have you ever seen a hugely religious, 6'3 man absolutely cowering from an onslaught of tiny prostitutes? I have rarely laughed so hard in my entire life.
I'm guessing Australian Cancun is Cairns. I've been to Cairns and Cancun, which is surprising given that I haven't really traveled all that much. And both were crappy, overpriced tourist traps with guys trying to sell you shit on the beach. Just another local to get loaded and enjoy the weather, I suppose. Anyway, I've been to Thailand as well (Bangkok, Chaing Mai, Pattaya) -- and the hooker culture is definitely in-your-face and definitely a sight to see there. Firstly, the hookers, yes hookers I 've seen in Thailand were some of the hottest girls I've seen in my life. I was in college at the time, and they put American and Australian college girls to shame. And again, these were the hookers. I'm personally not interested in hookers, because it offends my ego that I have to pay someone who doesn't want to have sex with me to force a smile. But god damn, if there's ever a place to challenge your will power, it's the girls in fucking Bangkok (hottest girls there out of all the hooker cities, in my opinion). Oh, and it's only $40 US to fuck one of these 10-star girls all goddamn night long. It's funny to see all the bullshit and cons in Thailand as well. As far as hookers go, they try to find a white-man sucker and pretend they actually LOVE HIM -- saying shit like "I love you, let's be boyfriend-girlfriend, I want to escape the hooker life." All lies, of course. Almost all the hookers there have Thai boyfriends that speak Thai that they actually give a shit about. But anyway, the hookers sink their teeth into "forever-alone" type neck-beard losers (present company excluded, of course) ---- you know, guys who were nerds in high school/ are nerds and who couldn't get laid to save their life. They have this sob story about how they want to stop being a hooker, they love you now, yadda yadda. So naturally, depending on how dopey the guy is, he falls for it hook, line, and sinker. The white-guy chode now thinks they are actually a romantic couple now, NOT in a hooker-client relationship. Of course, the girl is very poor and always needs money, either daily or weekly, to make ends meet, or to stop hookering (you don't want her fucking other dudes, do you?) or perhaps her mother is sick somewhere, with the swine flu or boneitis or something. So the dude keeps giving her cash; he's going to be a white knight and of course he's allowed himself to get emotionally involved. Obviously, the girl is milking him for his money. Here's the best part. Now the girl either A. tries to convince him for marriage and to get her into his home Western country (which usually doesn't work out) or B. they carry out some sort of long-distance relationship, where he sends her money every month or so. She promises him she's stopped hookering and isn't seeing other men. Of course, she is still hookering, fucking 2-4 guys a night, and has five or six other "long distance boyfriends" sending her a monthly check as well. Yeah, I swapped stories with a lot of travelers in Thailand. And I actually saw it firsthand. A young Canadian dude on a train introduced me to his "girlfriend" -- a Thai girl with tattoos he met in a brothel, but she's "stopped hookering now." Well, far be it from me to break a man's delusions. Funny hooker story? Well's I have several, but I was in Pattaya/ Thailand during the off-season (monsoon season RIGHT after the economic downturn had happened) --- so the country was REALLY hurting for tourists. My plane ride to Thailand only had about 6 or 7 people on it. As a result, I got the scam-artist and hooker-ogling deluxe package and really experienced it all (well, not the sex part lol). After a wrong turn looking for a hostel in Pattaya, I was the lone gentleman, and a young white gentleman at that, to be walking down the middle of this giant street between a row of outdoor go-go bars lined with HUNDREDS of prostitutes.Now, I'm not the best looking guy, but I don't think they'd seen a tourist for hours. It was like putting a drop of blood in pool of piranhas. I was swarmed. Mobbed. Mind you, this was about high noon, 12:00 pm - sun high in the sky. Everyone was saying "haaaiiii!!" in that asian accent of theirs and "ooh sexy man!" (the phrase all the hooker parrot there, rofl). But several hookers physically grabbed my hands and tried to drag me into their bars. Also, I was wearing tight jeans, but several hookers grabbed my fucking junk, too. Repeatedly. I would say I was sexually assaulted, but I was kind of flattered and enjoyed it, even though I knew it was fucking insincere attention lol. Well, I got away from the mob, but what a fucking experience. Now if only I can get this sort of attention in America WITHOUT the perception that I'm going to make it rain money.
When prostitution became legalised (instead of decriminalised, but that's another story) in this state, a partner at the law firm I was at asked me to do a comprehensive advice for a client on what he needed to know to get licensed and open a premises. I did an extensive written advice, handed it off and heard... nothing. No billables, no response, not even a request for further information. So, I went and asked the partner what happened. "He's not going ahead." "Why? The requirements are straight forward." "His wife found out about it." Then there was the time I arranged for an eviction from premises of an illegal brothel that was operating on land owned by the local church. The agent in attendance called me with amazement in his voice, "I've never seen so many beds! They just keep coming and coming..." In the next state down, a few friends of mine owned a legal brothel for a few years. I was offered a stake, but was going through a relationship breakup at the time and had no equity available. I did go to the opening though, and that was eye opening. One of the girls, who had "worked in the industry, but only as a receptionist", committed the cardinal sin of refusing to go out after she'd been picked. The accepted rule, as relayed to me, is that you don't have to go out for the initial meet if you don't like the look of the client (ie, it's your dad). But, if you do, you have to do the job if you're picked. She welched, for some unknown reason. It wasn't cold feet, as she'd already seen a few clients that day. We were leaving the next day and she lived on the way so she got a ride with us. The amount of self-serving crap that came out of her mouth in the four hours we had her in the car was phenomenal; including a completely made up account to justify why she was coming home despite the fact that we were there when it happened. I imagine she's still telling people that she's "worked in the industry, but only as a receptionist."