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You Cook Like You Fuck

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Dcc001, Jan 3, 2011.

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  1. Dcc001

    Dcc001
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    The exchange in the "Over/Underrated" thread about people who don't know how to cook made me realize something:

    If you watch somebody cook, it tells you quite a bit about how they are as a person. Likewise, how somebody eats. Does the person happily throw shit together and come up with a good meal? Well, they're probably easy-going and highly adaptable. Do they follow the recipe to the letter and freak out if they don't have an ingredient, because they can't improvise? They're high strung, or tend towards anxiety. Do they flatly refuse to eat a broad spectrum of food? I have friends who place orders at McDonald's for hamburgers like this: "Cheeseburger with ONLY ketchup and onions." They'll take it back if lettuce or mustard or whatever shows up. These are the same people who don't eat "red" vegetables and only like their mother's cooking. It tells you a lot about how adventurous they are; I never met a traveler who had the same hangups about food.

    Focus: What small cues do you look for to tell you about someone's personality?

    Alt. Focus:
    Make fun of picky eaters, because those guys bug the hell out of me.
     
  2. DrFrylock

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    I myself am a bit of a picky eater, but I try hard to minimize the collateral damage. For example, I won't order something at a restaurant if I have to make more than one change (like holding multiple things). There are just certain flavors and textures that don't go together, though. Onions are by far the worst offender. Green onions, chopped onions, whatever. The flavor is OK but fuck the texture. Ick. Onion powder for the win.
     
  3. Kubla Kahn

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    If they are putting onions on it they aren't as picky as some of the people I know. Growing up my brother was one of these eater. My mom made a huge deal when ordering each time because he was that picky "Patty and bun ONLY. PATTY AND BUN ONLY." Once he hit college and found out that girls dig guys that are adventurous when they eat or like to try new things he spread his wings a little. I was the exact opposite growing up and had to try the most outrageous things on the menu, alligator tail, stuffed pigeon, ostrich burger, and so forth. I jumped at every chance to try new things, because of this my mom loved taking me to all the nice expensive places to introduce me to exotic dishes.

    A guy on my softball team, a late forties handle bar mustached hill billy from Kentucky, called the same place we just ordered from separately so that he could tell the person ten times in english and chinese that he would not pay the delivery person if his hamburger had anything on it except the meat and bun. This same Toytoy esque hill billy would bring venison sausage (meat he had to sneak into the country frozen) hogies to games and once admitted he loved eating groundhog.
     
  4. rbz90

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    I never understood the texture issue. If it tastes good who the fuck cares what the texture is? In a couple of seconds it all ends up being the same texture anyway.

    I will eat anything. ANYTHING. It's actually kind of gross, if bread has a bit of mold on it? Fuck it, cut that part out and finish the rest. This cheese has been left out and gone stale? Gone. The only thing I will not touch is green olives. They are fucking gross. If a green olive even touches, fuck it if a green olive is even in the same general vicinity as my food I'm not eating it.
     
  5. Kubla Kahn

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    I won't lie, I fucking hate the slimy texture of tomatoes. If Im at a burger joint that is new too me and the "house" burger usually comes with tomatoes, Ill eat them. Otherwise I cant stand tomatoes on a burger. This is why I don't get upset when people hate on sushi because of the texture, I got over it and am addicted to sushi pretty bad...

    Otherwise we could be the same person. I eat questionable shit all the time. Food inspectors would have heart attacks looking at some of the places here in Shanghai that I frequent. Pickled chickens feet ain't that bad.
     
  6. Juice

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    Well DCC you're gonna hate me then, I'm a huge picky eater and here's what I don't eat:

    -Anything with butter or mayo on it (cooked in it is fine)
    -Pickles
    -Mushrooms
    -Carrots
    -Cheesy popcorn
     
  7. KIMaster

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    Strange, I'm the same way; I can and will eat virtually anything, but green olives make me want to throw up. Goddamn I hate those fucking things.

    Focus-

    Generic, thoughtless expressions in speech and self-description. We're all guilty of a few, but too many indicate a boring, amorphous personality. In a girl, something like "I'm a down-to-earth girl/I like going out with my friends, but have fun staying at home!/I'm extremely loyal to friends and family!/I like all types of music!"

    In a guy, there aren't as many give-away exact expressions, but it's more about playing a certain shallow movie character, whether it's "tough, macho, athletic dude nice with the ladies", "sensitive, moody artist with snobbish taste", or "crazy party animal that gets drunk from a few beers".

    Edit-

    Wow, I feel deeply sorry for you. Today, among other things, I ate a soup with carrots and mushrooms in it (delicious), half a jar of pickles (outstanding), and I put slices of fatty, Bulgarian butter on everything from bread to buckwheat. (Can't imagine it any other way)

    You're needlessly depriving yourself; it's not anywhere as bad as a vegetarian, but it's the same road to hell.
     
  8. Rush-O-Matic

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    I'm not really picky about what I eat. But, I only eat one thing at a time. If I have a plate with green beans, potatoes and steak on it, I eat all the green beans first, all the potatoes second and then all the steak. I generally like to save whatever my favorite is for last. If the plate is placed in front of me, I will immediately rotate it to put the green beans in front (duh, they get cold the fastest).
     
  9. mya

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    I will eat pretty much anything and can list the things on one hand that I "don't like" (sweet potatoes are on the top of that list as hard as I try to like them), but I totally get the texture thing. I have to cut off every shred of fat from whatever meat I am eating because if some of it sneaks into my mouth I'll start gagging on the chewiness of it.

    My one quirky food thing is that I can't load up a plate with all sorts of yummy savory things and then put something dessert like on the same plate. This is particularly obvious at family type functions when you are trying not to hurt somebody's feelings by not trying their dish. But sorry, no way in hell am I putting Aunt Nancy's jello mold onto the plate with my mashed potatoes and gravy. That is just gross.
     
  10. shauncorleone

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    FOCUS: I've never known if there was any correlation, so perhaps the ladies can clarify, but I always assumed women who eat like birds (tiny pieces, barely opening their mouth) either A) Do not suck dick, or 2) Are terrible at it. I don't have enough empirical evidence, because I don't pay TOO much attention to eating habits.
     
  11. BadBrains

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    I will eat anything and everything, especially vegetables and fresh fruit. I've always found it odd that some people don't eat veggies or fruit; they are healthy and tasty, so it's a win-win in my eyes.

    One thing, the only thing I will not eat is lobster. It's not the taste that bothers me but the act of tearing it apart to get to the meat that turns me off from it. I attribute this to years of watching my Grandmother rip them apart like a wild animal, butter and lobster juice all over her face while she scoops out that nasty green tomalley.
     
  12. Frebis

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    There is only one thing I won't eat, and that is hot dogs. I don't care if they are kosher, chicago style, vegie or made of tofu. I actually have a phobia of them. Like if one gets close to me I become physically ill.

    What does that say about me? Unlike a lot of you fags, I won't suck a dick. No matter how drunk I am.
     
  13. PIMPTRESS

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    Nice one, Dcc. I have learned that the way a man cooks and eats says alot about him. Does he savor his food? Then he is likely to be the same with me. If he wolfs everything down like a starved animal, he will finish quick. (not just his meal, ahem)

    My mom was a chef at some point for the Broadmoor Hotel in Colorado Springs. The woman taught me how to cook. I can always make something out of nothing. I don't measure anything, I smell seasonings that I am using and adjust accordingly. Everytime I make a dish, it's different from the last time I made it.

    This is how I am with my life as well. Take what I have and make it work.

    I don't eat alot of pork, but not because I don't like it, because it's too fatty for my girly figure.

    Sex-I will have pretty much anywhere, I will try pretty much anything and I enjoy it. Just like my food.
     
  14. Dmix3

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    Actually it says you are too afraid to confront your latent homosexuality...


    Focus: Put me in the tomato camp, I fucking hate those slimy things. However, I have no problem with ketchup, marinara, or any kinda of tomato-based pasta sauce, strange I know.
     
  15. effinshenanigans

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    Yeah, but I bet you house a sausage like a sword swallower.

    Focus:
    For me, it's pickles and black olives. They pollute everything around them with their flavor. Black olives especially--I imagine it's what a grossly obese man's taint tastes like. What that says about me is that I don't like what might be the flavor of gross man taint. As for everything else, if it flies, runs, hops, swims, or grows, I'll give it a shot.

    As far as other's habits and their resulting demeanor is concerned, I've noticed that women who are uncomfortable eating in front of others are usually more reserved in bed. If they grab a fork and knife to eat their burger instead of just picking it up and taking a bite, it's a missionary night (though, I'm sure there's a point when over-indulgence/enthusiasm becomes a problem).

    Getting away from food, I think that road rage is a good gauge for a person's temperment. I think that everyone gets pissed at stupid drivers, but to what degree they get pissed is a real indicator of how badly some small things will set them off in the future. For me, this is a problem, and I notice that it does translate into me going off on little things from time to time.
     
  16. scootah

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    - tenderise the meat, use the hottest instrument available, and a shitload of olive oil? Hey whaddya know, it works.

    I'm yet to meet a dead animal I wouldn't eat a second one of. There's some products like Lutefisk where the preservation and preparation is so unappetizing that it puts me off. But Spiders, Dogs, Kangaroo, Seals, Moose, Octopus, Squid, Mussels. Fuck, if they promised me that the meat had been ethically gathered, and there was no brain matter or spinal fluid involved - I'd probably try out cannibalism. I'm not big on fresh tomato, and really dislike Eggplant, Cucumber and Musk flavoured candy. But apart from that I'll eat most things.
     
  17. Aribidi

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    My parents let me choose two things that I didn't have to eat. Everything else had to be consumed, or else I didn't get to leave the table. And let me tell you, sitting three hours in your chair with cold sauerkraut being the only thing to look forward to isn't really something you'd like to repeat. It's not as if I like everything, but if somebody made a dish with ingredients I don't really like (Brussel sprouts for example), I'm still polite enough to finish my plate without bitching.

    That's the thing I really hate, people bitching about a dish you made. I live in a house with eight other people and I love to cook. But there are two people who hate almost everything and refuse to even try different ingredients. Everytime they sift through their food and slide their paprica or broccoli to the side, a French chef gets cancer.

    The downside of all that cooking is that it can sometime turn me into a huge douchebag. You know, the 'oh no, why are you throwing the basil in the pan while you're still cooking, for the love of God, WHY?!'-douchebag. The kind that always tries to be nice and give some handy tips about cooking, but doesn't know he comes across as condescending. I'm trying to curb that behaviour.
     
  18. Trakiel

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    I'm a pretty picky eater in that I really dislike having everything mixed together. I'll try pretty much anything on its own but as soon as it just becomes one of a hundred different ingredients in some cobbled together collective I'm almost certain to pass on it. In my experience foods that are of high quality don't need to be mixed with anything else anyway.

    Focus: I don't understand why so many people get hung up on other peoples' eating habits. It just baffles me why anyone would give a shit about something that doesn't have any impact on them.
     
  19. CharlesJohnson

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    Slow cooked in its own fat and turned into a pate. Ok, that doesn't work as well. Close.

    To me, picky eaters are worse than vegetarians. At least the vegetarian has an ideal no matter how flimsy. Picky eaters are just pissants.

    I just got Charcuterie. While you're cutting the crust off your bread, I will be making terrine and pate and turning stuff most see as undesirable into something magical. Pickiness sounds like a lack of passion. Nothing is more of a turn off.

    I'll try anything once. Offal (when done right it's awesome), ostrich, buffalo, shellfish, duck, quail. Quail is sublime. Sea snails are magical in ways people describe losing their virginity. I know a dude that won't eat anything from the sea unless it's a fried shrimp. He lives off pre-cooked, frozen chicken from the grocery store and hates vegetables. Eat your fucking vegetables, you're 28. I also remember somebody from this board or RMMB that only ate grilled cheese sandwiches for 10 years. I don't understand that. This is a huge world, to limit yourself is just so narrow and boring.

    Now, pickled fish is bad. Like BAD; gag inducing. Not because of texture, but because it's a fish pickle. Who the fuck pickles a fish? I wouldn't pickle a woman or any other protein. There are better ways to preserve it. Like confit and rillettes, or smoking. Other than that, broccoli sucks. It smells like straight up shit.
     
  20. 8Track

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    Focus: What small cues do you look for to tell you about someone's personality?

    If they have their bangs cut diagonally across their eyes, they are a douchebag. Or they're some sort of Asian.

    [​IMG]

    Alt. Focus: Make fun of picky eaters, because those guys bug the hell out of me.

    My friend's sister orders everything plain. You put anything on it, HELL FIRE. God forbid they accidentally give her an item with anything touching it. Instead of just asking for a new item it turns into an ordeal about not following directions. I'd love to be one of her kids.
     
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