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You been to a mo-tel?

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by DrFrylock, Nov 8, 2012.

  1. DrFrylock

    DrFrylock
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    The White

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    I've mentioned before that one of my favorite movies is Sex Drive, which nobody saw and may have never been in theaters. The people who made it later made Hot Tub Time Machine, which was more successful but perhaps not quite as funny.

    In this movie, there are two characters, Andy and Randy, who are "total nards" but have a fucking heroic ability to "open" - that is, proposition every women they see for sex. I think they are two of the greatest characters committed to the screen, and if there were a 2-hour Andy and Randy movie, I would see it in the theaters twice. The following is from the Director's Cut, which added a gratuitous amount of Andy and Randy to an already hilarious amount:



    FOCUS: How do you, and your friends, "open?" Does being direct work for you? Have you ever just gone for it, only to have it actually work?
     
    #1 DrFrylock, Nov 8, 2012
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  2. Crown Royal

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    Those awesome guys are the only thing about that film that doesn't make me want to kill myself.

    I don't recall ever having a "routine" in my single days whenever out with my friends, but we also took a humourous approach to pretty much ANYTHING when we went drinking, and were good at entertaining others by getting in ferocious insult-wars with each other. Things range from hilarious to shocking to creepy (to be fair there was a line), and there were memorable random incidents here and there, sometimes my friend Shit-Boy would pull a random girl into the centre of our group and everybody would chant "DANCE! DANCE! DANCE." Or my friend El Nino's approach to "assisting" me in a bar: "If you don't make out with this guy, I'm gonna beat the living shit out of him right here. Swear to god."

    You would have thought that would never work. You cannot believe the shit out there that does. People like spontaneous or insane a lot more often than you would think. Still, there IS no formula (aside from Long Island Ice Teas). Never will be.
     
  3. Flat_Rate

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    Pick up lines and other assorted "game" is a bunch of bullshit.

    I have only ever hit on women in bars, so call me old fashioned but walking up to someone and saying "hi my name is flat_rate, can I buy you a drink?" is the extent of my repertoire.
     
  4. JWags

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    See, the only thing I usually agree with is how they don't buy girls drinks. At least in cities, girls feast off of random dudes buying them drinks, while offering little interest in anything more. I'm not anti-drink buying, but I'd never open with it. Ive seen too many people blow $20 for no reason.

    The reality of the situation is not that these guys have great "game", its with all the practicing and bullshit routines, they become socially fluent and good conversationalists. Reading transcripts of their "game" or watching them talk to girls is often painful cause its so cheesy, but they are good at reading signs and directing conversations the right way, that I can respect. When you start breaking it down, thats when it gets fucking obscene.
     
  5. The Village Idiot

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    I open with flopping my penis out on the bar.

    The girls laugh, and I always heard it was good to open with a joke.

    I'll be here all week, tip your bartenders....
     
  6. lhprop1

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    Well, this guy's opener was met with a bit of a cold shoulder. <a class="postlink" href="http://www.twincities.com/localnews/ci_21959051/st-paul-iowa-pig-farmer-fondled-his-sons?source=most_viewed" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.twincities.com/localnews/ci_ ... ost_viewed</a>

    Betting a girl you can play with her boobs without touching them and purposely losing the bet may work in a college bar every now and then. When the object of your affection is your 8 year old son's psychologist and you're in the middle of a consultation with her . . . not so much.

    That's totally classless, dude. You can't just flop your wang out and expect it to be met with a positive response. You have to ask them if they've ever seen the one-eared elephant first.
     
  7. lust4life

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    Unless you're Parker.
     
  8. Kubla Kahn

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    "St. Paul: Iowa pig farmer fondled son's psychologist, charges say"

    That's the greatest headline I have read all year.
     
  9. Dude

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    #9 Dude, Nov 12, 2012
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  10. Parker

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    I've never read the game, I don't believe any of that shit, but my friend and I usually have a few jokes to stick with. As a group, we're all fucking tired of them, but they always get laughs and start conversations. I mentioned this in Winterbike's thread, but you just toss those out in a conversation and go from there. I whip those out, not my penis because certain bars have rules against carrying concealed weapons, and we usually get laughs. If we don't, we move the fuck on.

    I have to second Jwags. Buying drinks in cities doens't mean shit. You won't even get 5 minutes most the time. If they like you, they'll talk to you drinks or otherwise. My friend did flip a situation, he was talking to some girl, 5 minutes in she says "You going to buy me a drink?" "I only buy drinks for girls when I'm on dates." "When are we going on our date?" But that rarely happens.

    Spoilered because its not as related to focus, but more on the above.
    I've gone out with female friends who I know pump guys for drinks. They have no intention of doing anything with those guys, not even exchange numbers. They'll get a drink or two, and be like "Oh I have to go find my friend, thanks for the drink" smile and walk away. That guy might feel cool, but he got shit in return. The other problem is there are guys that feed into this by just feeling like ballers even buying these girls drinks. Then these girls run into me and my friends and we look at them like they're retarded. I learned at the age of 22 never to do that shit. This chick tricked me at Redmond's bar in Chicago, had me focusing on her ass because she wore "$200 Hudson jeans" pulled me to buy her a drink then walked away. I later learned that she was celebrating her fucking engagement. Fuck that noise. I haven't bought a drink for a unless I was wingman, in which case my friend will get me back, or if I was out on a date (this statement does not apply to times I had to reach a CC minimum or $1 beer nights.)
     
  11. JWags

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    That line is much more hilarious when you read about him and Rhea Perlman divorcing cause he was using his celebrity to shamelessly bang extras.
     
    #11 JWags, Nov 12, 2012
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  12. bewildered

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    The most hilarious thing of all is that Perlman didn't bang him to get ahead, she did it because she wanted to.
     
    #12 bewildered, Nov 12, 2012
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  13. gamecocks

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    There were no winners whenever those 2 were fucking.
     
  14. Crown Royal

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    He's the same height at Kristen Bell (five feet) maybe he should go after that.

    Favourite pick-up line: "HAVE THIS DE-LOUSED AND BROUGHT TO MY ROOM IMMEDIETLY."
     
  15. Parker

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    Oh shit, I just googled her. Yeah, I'd be fucking extras also.
     
  16. Rush-O-Matic

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    the fuck? You googled her? Like, I have know idea who Rhea Perlman is, so I'll google her?

    Holy crap, I am old. It also makes me sad that you young kiddos were not able to experience one of the greatest sitcoms of all time in Cheers. They still show reruns, though, and they're still funny. You should check them out sometime.
     
  17. Parker

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    I know who she was once I saw her. I know Cheers, but back in the day, when people were on sitcoms, that's it. They were on sitcoms. You didn't know their real name.
     
  18. Crown Royal

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    WHA?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!! Ahem....

    Ted Danson
    George Wendt
    John Ratzenburger
    Kristie Alley
    Shelley Long
    Rhea Perlman
    Woody Harrelson
    Kelsey Grammar
    Bebe Nuwearth
    Nick Colansanto
    Shelley Long
    Joel Poils (Gary the rival bar owner)

    "Back in the day" you were swimming in dad's balls. Those above I named, honestly, off the top of my head. You see, you knew ALL their names because their names were in the OPENING CREDITS, and if you didn't sing the Cheers song at the top of your lungs during the show's opening credits, well, just fucking kill yourself right now. THIS WAS THE SHOW WHERE EVERYBODY KNOWS YOUR NAME.


    Perlman met Devito on the set for a really forgettable TV movie called The Ratings Game, I think even before Cheers. Many believe they got together simply by default.
     
  19. Juice

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    Ted Danson - Starred in Becker and other shows, cameos in Curb (not bad)
    George Wendt -
    John Ratzenburger - Voices the pig in Toy Story, stars in commercials about mail
    Kristie Alley - Got hilariously fat
    Shelley Long - Two shitty Brady Bunch movies
    Rhea Perlman - Was in Matilda in 1993
    Woody Harrelson - He's Woody Harrelson, he's awesome.
    Kelsey Grammar - Frasier
    Bebe Nuwearth - ?
    Nick Colansanto - ?
    Joel Poils (Gary the rival bar owner) - ?

    Not an awesome batting average. Oh whoops, forgot about George Wendt:
    [​IMG]

    Focus: A guy in my frat would stalk sorority girls on Facebook, had a madlibs-type email to send them where he fills in the blanks based on them specifically and sends the paragraph to them in hopes they think he's sensitive and they would wanna hang with him. It worked none of the time, all the time.
     
  20. Danger Boy

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    Almost every time I'm out with a certain female friend of mine, we both drink for free. She'll offer to get me a beer and then I'll watch her walk up to some poor schmuck and flirt with him for a few seconds. As soon as he hands her a beer she'll thank him, turn around and bring it to me. She'll then go and find herself a drink. Most of these guys see her do this, and they never do shit about it.

    Never buy a woman a drink unless you know damn well she isn't scamming you.