You are what you drink

I posted here about a rep I got for drinking amaretto rocks, then I added this:

Also, I have three go-to drinks if I'm in the mood for liquor: vodka neat, gin and tonic, or amaretto rocks.

From my understanding of popular critique on those drinks, this indicates I am:
vodka) russian douchebag (I'm an edumucated redneck)

G & T) old man who drinks to mask the pain of some killer war stories (young man who shoots guns at shit to relieve stress from family)

and after last night amaretto rocks) sickly old lady (oft-sickly young man)

Focus: What you drink says something about you. Natty Light says you're in college and/or are broke as fuck but still want to get drunk. Skyy says you're a guy who just got fucked in the ass on the futon by Brad.

What does your drink-of-choice say about you?

Alt. Focus: What do you think drinks say about others?

 

This weekend I had a lot of Jager shots, which apparently means I want to punch people in the face. But I didn't. And I actually didn't get kicked out of the bar, so that was a big plus.

But usually I stick to rum and coke which puts out the "I mean, I tried steroids back in college a few times, but now I'm more into cardio. Speaking of which, how about some oral with the Pec-Master [flexes]?" vibe. Awesome.

 

I drink wine which means that I am pure class.

It actually means that I can't control myself with liquor if I drink it on a regular basis (who would have thought that I can't handle 5 martinis at happy hour) and beer is too filling (although I do enjoy 1 or several now and then on a warm day). So as a general rule I am a wino

 

I've mentioned many times I have an unhealthy affinity to Gin.

What I think it says about me: Dapper sophisticate with a refined palette that appreciates depth of flavor and the artistry of gin cocktails.

What everyone else thinks: Grumpy old man with piles, stinking like a Christmas tree, that gets inappropriately drunk way too quick and prone to fits of irrational anger and rage.

 

I drink a lot of microbrews. A lot of people may think I'm a beer snob, but truth be told, I just like trying different shit. At my old place, prior to moving out, we recycled our collection of unique bottles, which was about 120. We ran out of room, other wise we would have had over 150 different bottles. Some, I can't even find anywhere (like tinkov russian stout, which was good as fuck).

I don't even know HOW different ingredients taste. When some one who's an actual beer snob says "oh, this has a slight taste of coriander", I have no idea what they are talking about, but god damn this La Fin Du Monde is great.

I also drink a lot of Trader Joe's wines under $7 with simple labels, since I hear the fancier the label, the shittier the wine. People who know nothing of wine think I'm sophisticated. Connoisseurs assume I'm poor, which is correct.

I'm not sure what kind of connotation 7&7s hold, but I sure do enjoy them. The original is good, but maker's or red label makes a better whiskey substitute.

And lastly, the Baltimore Zoo, which is a lot like a long island iced tea. 2 of these potent libations and I'm 3 sheets to the wind. Maybe 4. People who have consumed one of these would think I plan on blacking out and stealing lawn ornaments later that night.

 

When I'm at home I drink PBR, which under normal circumstances would say I'm either poor or in college (both true), but more recently means that I'm likely a hipster (I'm not... there are no words to express how furious that association makes me.) I like to think that it says I was blessed with impeccable taste that was nurtured by a childhood practically swimming in award winning drafts.

When I'm out my drinks depend on the weather more often than not.

Cold weather? I'll take a whiskey coke please. preferably Jameson, but usually well. I'll also drink makers mark straight in a pinch. I don't know what this says about me, other than I refuse to drink rum under any circumstances, and I like the warmth.

when it's hot and I'm not drinking beer I'll drink Vodka or Gin and soda. I feel like Gin is a lost treasure that doesn't get the burn it deserves, so I make my friends drink it as much as possible. But maybe I'm just an old soul who likes juniper. I don't know if drinking Vodka says anything special about me, though I do make sure to only drink well because I would feel like too much of a guido if I ordered anything else.

If it's a special occasion I'll drink tequila shots, which says the same thing about me it says about everyone else. "I sure hope that I'll have money for bail later."

 

Currently I love drinking Jameson, shots or on the rocks. I suppose I'll be announcing my affinity for women any day now.

 

Beer says that it's just an ordinary night. Amounts vary, but I'm just having a good time or relaxing.

Scotch/Whiskey says that I'm looking to get buzzed quicker and go without all the rampant urination that beer brings. I'm also treating myself and I'll be in a better and potentially more giving mood.

Wine says I just made/ordered a nice piece of meat. That, or I'm out of beer. Sometimes, though, it's just for a change of pace.

Tequila says that I'm looking to get trashed. Pass the salt shaker and a plate of limes, I've got some things to forget.

I feel that none of these things exude sophistication, nor should they. People who drink things to give off that image are assholes. The same goes for people who use it as a label when watching someone else drink. If I want a few doubles of Balvenie or an expensive bottle of wine and it's costing me a ton of money, I'm doing it because I wanted it and earned it, not because someone else will be impressed by it.

 

Lately my liquor has involved beer mainly. After a nasty incident involving the bathtub, vomit, and copious amounts of Ksarak (an arab booze), I've stayed away from hard liquor as much as I can.

I usually go Coor's Light. Can get a 12-pack of 473ml cans for 24 bucks, decently cheap and it doesnt taste like shit.

When I'm needing to get drunk faster, I'll grab a couple of the premixed Rockstar Vodkas from the liquor store. Yea yea, not the best drink choice, but when I'm drinking these I'm drinking to get drunk. The rockstar masks the vodka for the most part and it's just 473ml of 7%. I could down 3 of these without noticing, then I move into the case of beer.

Used to use Rum and Coke as my go-to, but the hassle of having to mix drinks when Im at a party or a friends place has gotten too much. Just stick to beer or the rockstars usually nowadays.

 

In the interest of shameless self-promotion I'm just going to point out that I've written a blog on this specifically pertaining to "manly" drinks where I point out why so many other lists of manly drinks suck and offer my own tongue-in-cheek take.

Most nights I go the typical poor college student / fratboy route and drink Natty Lite, mainly because it's cheap and it's perfect for beer pong - heavier beers are harder to chug and liquor pong tends to go downhill, very quickly - but frequently I'll just go to the liquor store and pick out something random to expand my horizons. (One time I bought a beer called Longhammer, just because its name sounded kind of like a penis joke. It was not very good.)



I am also an avid lover of fine wine, and will often drink it straight out of the box.

 

I drink (mostly) craft beer and microbrews when I do drink beer, with some premium macros thrown in (Sleeman and Rickard's, and a bunch of European stuff). I suppose I'm allowed to count foreign macrobrews as "craft" or "micro" because nobody drinks them over here. You could say I'm a snob, but I don't think I am. I will drink the plain macro stuff, and it's not bad beer per se, it just isn't good beer either. Life is too short for that kind of shit.

Scotch - I am a 50 year old man. I guess it splits between being a super-rich snob, or a grizzled old Scottish man who's been wearing flat caps since long before it was cool. I wish I could pull off the latter, but I'm way too young (and young-looking) to pull it off.

Caesars - I am Canadian. I can think of no other explanation.

Red wine - I am more grown up than the average bear. I am also capable of drinking alcohol for reasons other than putting ethanol in my body.

As for things I don't drink...

Blue Curacao: I am an 18 year old college freshman who is still mentally in high school whose only tastebuds are for sugar, with no overload limit. I am the worst type of human being in the world, and am the reason why plastic bags need to state "keep away from children".

 

I generally flip between craft beers and wine, depending on the night. I'm in college and I can't remember the last time I bought a 30 of some shit beer, me and my friends will usually get a few 6 packs of stuff we haven't tried before, mix em up and go somewhere. Usually there's enough shitty beer there to get drunk after we finish our good beer, and we can't taste the shittiness at that point anyway. What that says about me? Der... that I like to drink things that don't taste like piss? I'm no beer snob, I just know what tastes good.

For wine, unless I'm eating a mother fucking steak, white is the way to go. As gay as it sounds I usually go for some sparkling-type wine, but to avoid looking like a total ass I just drink it straight from the bottle. I will admit I can be a bit of a wine snob, but only when people choose ten dollar Yellowtail over something that's a few dollars more and tastes 80 times better.

 

Focus: What you drink says something about you. Natty Light says you're in college and/or are broke as fuck but still want to get drun

What does your drink-of-choice say about you?

College graduate here, that makes great money thank you very much. I pound Natty and LOVE it. God the view is great from the far right of the evolutionary scale.

 

I generally swap between Beer, Rum (dark) and Whiskey - Preferably Jack Daniels, not really much else.

Beer = Just another night, ranging from a couple of quiet ones after work, or downing 2-3 in a beer bong to get the night cranking.
Rum = When all the friends are up from their various parts of the country and we are determined to have fun and get loose.
Whiskey, usually on the rocks = someone, somewhere has pissed me off, and I am determined to get shitfaced before someone finds me.

 

I always loved Bourbon, but when I was drinking at home ( i.e every night ) I was a economical drunk. Thus I figured why buy Jim Beam or Wild Turkey like I would at the bars when I could pay $12.99 or less for a handle of this



A handle would generally last me 2 days, and that was only drinking at night after work, that says I am a alcoholic. In the last months of my drinking I was mixing KD and WATER figuring that it would still get me drunk and the water might be enough to rehydrate me for the morning. I also tested this theory on anything from Jager and water to Gin and water.

 

Canadian Mist. It is indicative of my mellow character and smooth taste.

Spoiler

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**Sorry that picture is a little large.

 

This is a red-button topic for me. I can't drink beer, due to a psychological childhood drama involving a huge stein of Guinness when I was 5 and an asshole older brother. "Oh you think it is Root Beer? Drink the whole thing." No hospital trip required, but I puked, and was sick. I've tried 100 beers since from all countries, crafts, micro/macro, and I just can't enjoy them.

Allergic to caffeine, kills the whole jack/coke, rum/coke, redbull/vodka or any bomb at all. Can't do Excedrin either to fix the fucking hangovers.

So this leaves me with tonic and anything which tastes like shit. Cran/Vodka which presents jokes questioning my manhood, hard cider which I think is fucking great but the most common woodchuck shit is way too sweet, and then I guess then anything sour but rarely does a bartender put enough in. I'm a fan of all shots straight, but never have time to drink anything on the rocks because of the constant barhopping.

 

This is not the place to be talking about your sick bestial habits, shegirl. You disgust me.






Lately it's been beer beer and more beer for me. In addition to being delicious, drinking at bars in London is fucking expensive, and beer is usually the cheapest option. If it's not been, it's probably Jack and Coke or G&T. I'm not the fanciest sort, if you couldn't tell.

When drinking at home, I quite like red wine. *puts nose up in the air*

 

You know, college students are really amateurs when it comes to cheap beer.

The real key is to use coupons and rebates (like the ones that give you $10 back when you buy steak, but then you use another coupon to get the steak). Best deal to date-- a 24 pack of Coors for 4 bucks.

I drink whatever random beer my wife has coupons for or that's on clearance, which ranges from Coors to Bud Lime to random Polish beer that's covered with dust. It says that I have low standards and little disposable income.