Anybody who is watching Archer, did you just see the commercial for the new FX show Wilfred? That actually looks pretty damn funny.
I survived my procedure and was rewarded with a bottle of Percocet. Goes great with my weed and booze.
Ok, making the burger. Tomorrow I will buy vegetables. For now, I don't think I have bbq sauce, but salsa? We've got that buddy. We've got that. So I'm gonna make it and then eat it, then probably have some sex where at some point I'll have to try to figure out if I can fart without it being noticed.
So I'm getting my wisdom teeth out in te morning and getting anesthesia for the first time ever. How should I expect to feel afterward?
A) I woke up listening to the Beatles on my iPod because I had decided that I needed to listen to the Beatles while tripping the fuck out, apparently. I spent the next week on a little codeine buzz, playing Need For Speed and then falling asleep imagining myself playing Need For Speed. B) You'll probably do a lot of sleeping and feel rather groggy for a day or two afterwards. C) The pain and swelling in your jaw will vary with how impacted your wisdom teeth are / aren't. Presumably you'll be given antibiotics and a syringe with which to clean the wounds. Unless you'd like an infection, please do follow the steps. D) Don't be afraid of painkillers. I mean, don't fuck around, but my oral surgeon allayed my fears about the pain of having 8 teeth taken out with "If you start the painkillers early and keep on a schedule of taking them regularly, you won't feel much pain." God damn was he right, and I had a very enjoyable Christmas.
I had my 4 impacted wisdom teeth out at once. They first gave me nitrous which got me loopy and then knocked me out. It will feel like you blinked and you will be awake. I had migraines for a couple days but took the pain killers and relaxed. Don't be worried, it isn't that bad.
Drinking red bull and vodka, playing poker, and listening to Liz Phair. Phair is amazingly fucking sexy. Give it to me, don't give it away Don't think about what the others say My skins getting clear, my hairs so bright All you do is fuck me every day and night You're my secret beauty routine Na, na, na, na, what my body has seen I am lookin' good and I'm feeling nice Baby you're the best magazine advice Gimme your hot white cum
Had propofol today since I had an endoscopy done. I was only out for 10 minutes, I came to and felt as relaxed as I ever have in my entire life. I can see why Michael Jackson used to abuse it to fall asleep.
I don't know what they gave me when I had my wisdom teeth pulled, I just know it was intravenous and I had some of the most insane visual hallucinations of my entire life. It felt like it only took about 30 seconds to a minute but it felt like I was having experiments done to me in a UFO. I remember everything turning white, lots of flashing colors, and beeping sounds. I remember a series of quickly built up high pitch sounds followed by a quick thud. Then I remember waking up, looking around a bit in a fog, looking at the nurse, and trying to say "amazing." Except I couldn't because my mouth was full of gauze. Luckily, I'm pretty experienced with altered states of consciousness, so even though this was a new high, I was able to keep it together. I was able to walk under my own power, and get the card for my followup appointment. The rest of the day really just kind of felt like being in a daze. Don't worry too much, like others have said, it's ok to take your pills; you're not going to get hooked in a week. Don't wait for the pain to get bad thinking "oh it's not too bad right now." Soon as you start feeling the pain, pop a pill. Getting rid of a little pain is easier then bringing it down after it has built up. Other than that, just enjoy the ride. Get some video games or stupid movies/shows ready; higher level cognitive function was pretty much impossible during that week for me. In other news, I got a letter today saying I was being put on academic probation...even though I got a 3.6 last semester. Clearly it is some sort of mistake but it's still kind of troubling. I'll sort it out Monday I guess and figure out whats going on. I eliminated the worries by getting high, so all is well in the world.
Here's the thing nobody ever mentions about anesthesia and the subsequent barbiturates you get to have fun with afterwards: they cause massive constipation. When I had all 4 of my wisdom teeth taken out, I was on vicoden for a few days and didn't crap once. By the time they worked their way out of my system and I actually had to 'go' it was like pushing a sandpaper tennisball through a pinhole. So prepare for pain and some possible bleeding. Otherwise, my only other advice is to expect to feel like you're drunk but know that they fucked up way that you're acting is wrong, but that you can't do anything about it. On a totally unrelated note, this post marks my drunk thread cherry popping and I'm happy to report that I'm currently enjoying some "imported" Fat Tire (We can't get it in Ohio, so I have to have it brought in from Indiana from a co-workers sister) and also celebrating an opening night win in my local dart league in which my team is the defending champs. We also got our last season Champions plaques and I was somehow able to convince the guy who runs our league to have mine etched with the (albeit, very biased) coolest name deviation that I can come up with. I'd post a picture so that you can all bask in its gloriousness, however, it does pretty much contain my full name and I'm not quite sure I'm that drunk... Yet.
The gods fucking hate me. And have a sense of humor. Not 30 minutes after I post this....my toilet decides it no longer wants to flush. I, of course, only find this out after taking a not insubstantial shit in it. I then had to remedy this situation. The horror. The horror. Honestly, there isn't enough beer in the world to fix tonight.
All I have to say is, HA! My mouth is so large that my wisdom teeth have no issue in my mouth outside of their naturally poor strength.
You should feel ashamed, because your mouth basically failed to perform its most basic function: containing all your teeth.
Holy shit, the Google predictive search thing is getting kinda stalkerish. Earlier I searched for a flavor of potato chip that is only available in a specific area of the Eastern Seaboard. Then I searched for a sub shop that was one of the only places I found them ever. After only 4 letters, (casa) the 3rd suggestion was the small sub shop I was looking for. Yet I am in California, where we have a million "casa" somethings. And that result, in delaware came up. I am convinced, Google is out to get us.
I had my wisdom's pulled out when I was around 23 and just took the local. Which I don't recommend. Its not that it hurt, it was the goddamn pressure. It felt like the oral surgeon put a 15 foot long prybar in my mouth and jumped on the other end. Plus you get to watch him grab a pair of plyers, put a foot up on top of the chair for leverage to yank those fuckers out. I felt like a large mouth bass that swallowed the hook. Even though it doesn't hurt, its just unnerving hearing teeth inside your mouth crack and be broken, then pulled out by some guy you just met a half an hour earlier. I've gotten multiple teeth knocked out and broken in fistfights, and I'd totally do that all over again before not getting put under while some asshole pulls my wisdom teeth out.
So proud we provide Egypt with over $1 billion in military aid annually, so that their "counter terrorism" efforts can be used to prop up a "non-dictatorship." First night I haven't been drinking since...Thanksgiving? Cripes. Letterman is awful sober. Also awful drunk!