Some of you may remember the thread I started over a year ago discussing my decision to move 3000 miles to Los Angeles to pursue a career as a musician. The vast majority of responses were along the lines of suggesting that I would end up doing gay porn. In response to that at this present time I would like to now state, fuck you, you fucking bitches. There have been some rough times, and I have a long way to go, but I've successfully made my living with no other income but playing music. I have double digit # songs on national TV as background music. I make the majority of my money by doing studio sessions with different artists/producers. I'm going on a national tour this summer with an up and coming artist. Long way to go, but I accomplished a lot that I wouldn't have if I didn't take the plunge. Oh yeah.. and I've done what I've done the past 16 months or so with 6 of them being essentially crippled and couldn't play/exercise. I'm 24 years old and woke up with a herniated disc in my neck that led to crippling pain in my neck and hands. This of course following an atrial fibrulation I had upon arrival (serious heart defect). Definitely the most difficult thing I've ever had to deal with was being too injured to play music or exercise for 6 months, while being 3000 miles away from friends/family But fuck it, here I am still pushing forward. Focus: When have your risks paid off? When could you successfully say "told ya so" to people who doubted you? Alt Focus: What was the hardest experience of your life?
My gym. Time and time again, I've been told it wouldn't work. There have been times I've worried about it NOT working, for sure, but I've pushed onward and it's still growing. My former coworkers, my ex... They told me I couldn't do it. They told me I couldn't handle it. They told me people wouldn't want to work with me. They told me I'd run it into the ground. They said I'd just have to have The Guy bail me out. Fuck 'em. Both gyms are doing better than ever. Ever. It's been hard work, but it's getting better every day.
I graduated college late, even for super-senior standards, and went right into unemployment. Not the good kind of unemployment though, where you are at least able to collect a check from state insurance. I subsisted on doing handyman tasks around town while trying to salvage a relationship. After six months, her hypergamy was too intense and unwilling to tolerate my lack of success in finding a 'real' job - so I left town. I didn't have anything great waiting for me other than a temp job during the refinance ramp-up, but it was better than nothing. That job was shit, but it bought me time to work my connections and get into something better - which I did after less than a year. At barely over two years since breaking up with TheEx, I'm now gainfully employed in what could be considered the 'brain trust' at a Fortune 50 company. Money is being thrown at our department in order to prepare us for the kind of insights that Big Data will be able to deliver the future. I feel like I'm in the right place at exactly the right time - and it's wonderful. That bitch is still working for her stepmother making barely above a living wage, in a dump with her wannabe-slumlord of a fiance. Living well is the best revenge.
A bunch of people followed up and asked how I was doing after the move, so I just wanted to lay down the developments and make a thread of it. I'm still eating 3-5 cans of tuna a week.. just happy and appreciative to be making a living playing music and be moving up. Is that alright with ya'll?
For someone who is "so successful" and "following your passion", you're a remarkably defensive fucker. Hrm... Focus: my eleventh grade chemistry teacher told me that I could be anything but a chemist. I should call and thank her for that. Until she said that, I'd had an entirely different idea of what I wanted to do in life. And, from all the angry ex-lawyers on this board, I made the right choice.
I've actually listened to Bucketheaders stuff from a couple years ago. He's a very talented musician. Let's all get over the in-your-face verbiage and get the gist here: Every single one of us has been told, "You won't be able to do x, y, z." Some of you have risen to the challenge and gotten your teeth knocked out, others have climbed the mountain and stood on top. Now that you've all had your chance to unleash your assholery, let's focus. For me, the one "in your face" moment I remember from when I was much younger has shaped a lot of my outlook on life. I used to play basketball with a group of my friends, and one of them would constantly tell me how I had no left hand, I couldn't go left, yada, yada, yada. I remember one day thinking, "Who the fuck are you to tell me what I can or can't do?" I went left HARD. Ended up dunking on his ass and knocking him over. Any time I hear someone tell me I can't do something, that is immediately what comes to mind.
Fuck the negativity. Congratulations. You made the jump that separates self-actualization from Starbucks employee of the month and it's a tremendous leap of faith. If you have to do gay porn to live your dream, fucking lube up. Thanks for having the balls, inspiration and dedication to do it and share. Focus: Without a doubt, Peace Corps. Two years in a Central American shithole with no money ($7 a day for food), no gun, and 4 hours away from a city. No internet, no tv, no girlfriend and no family. My former friends said I'd be crawling back to the US, that 60% of volunteers quit early (not true), that I would say it wasn't worth the hassle and they came close to being right. But they weren't, and that's a large reason why they are my former friends. I did my job, spent my time, and excelled in one of the most dangerous, backwards banana republics on Earth. Two years later, I've bypassed the shit corporate jobs, almost done living the dream in Bali, and I'm excited to get to the next step. If I had never made that leap, I would be working with a name tag on for the next 30 years, immature, angry and bored. No lube required, yet.
I thought I wasn't going to have anything to contribute to this thread because I'm lucky enough to have a lot of supportive people in my life and to be awesome at everything. I think more people would've been surprised if I didn't succeed as a freelance writer/had to resort to a not-follow-my-dream job than when I did follow through. (This is all about bragging, right?) But I thought of two examples. Downdirty's post reminded me of how many people thought I was either making a big mistake or was going to be all talk and no action when I did my little Central American solo journey last year. But it was one of the best decisions I've ever made and it made an immeasurably positive impact on my life. On a less dramatic note, everyone had their doubts when I announced I'd be doing Mortified last Fall, myself included. I am not a performer. I hate public speaking, I'm not even particularly good at non-public speaking, and I don't really like being the center of attention. I know everyone was worried I was going to make a fool of myself and generally fail miserably. That especially goes for the other performers of the night, who were taking up the whole green room with their personalities while I was sitting there quietly. There were looking at me with pity before I even got on stage. And then not only did I kill it based on my own expectations, but I got the biggest laughs of the night and people were coming up to me afterwards telling me they were laughing until they were crying, and the other performers were all looking at each other like "What the crack?" All of my friends who watched the video were like "where the hell did that come from?" It made the whole experience feel even better to make people laugh when they weren't expecting to.
Don't sweat that shit. I eat 3-5 cans of tuna a week, and have plenty of money to spend on food that doesn't come in cans. It's loaded with healthy protein, as well as fatty acids that could theoretically help your busted heart. The next time some groupie complains about your tuna breath, you can tell her that and say, "So... in your face, bitch!" Focus: Almost forgot, I had obnoxious gas in the office after lunch today, and let out a totally risky fart. Not only did I not soil myself, no one walked by my desk before it dissipated. Risk rewarded!
Alt Focus: What was the hardest experience of your life? Well in a nutshell I picked up a felony conviction about three years ago. Never pulled any time, or even saw the inside of a cell. It was my first offense, and I got off pretty light with just five years of probation. I can't recall the exact numbers, but generally most felons end up in a revolving cycle of prison-probation-prison. The judicial system is set up for that and expects it; most convicts expect it too. When I was seeing my probation officer I overheard a lot of conversations; other guys talking about which prisons they spent time in and for how long. Most of them stayed out of prison long enough to party til they failed a drug test. Then again when you're covered in shitty tattoos, and have a 8th grade education you're not exactly employable outside of a prison laundry. I was 20, and still had a very childish outlook on things. Being convicted of a felony was a huge eye opener for me; the people I saw were not the people I wanted to be around. I straightened my ass up pretty quick. My probation officer talked the judge into reducing my sentence after a year of probation; and since then my only issue has been a traffic ticket. I'm working my way through engineering classes, and my school has a very good job-placement program. My story isn't inspirational, or even that great. But having a felony on your record and still making a positive contribution to society is a pretty good 'fuck you' in my book.
Major financial collapse. A week before the GFC hit, I had a pretty reasonable amount of unsecured debt, and a LOT of secured debt, but my stocks and property assets had me in the green north of $100k. Might even have been north of $200k. I was working a 6 figure job with very low tax and life wasn't bad. I had health problems - but I was pretty much coping. A week after the GFC hit, I was unemployed, with no notice, on a bullshit reason. My asset value went through the floor. I got railroaded and forced out of my house by government bullshit at the bottom of the market and I came away with $60k unsecured debt, no assets to speak of, and was unemployed for a couple of months on subsistence support from the govt. The health problems included depression. It took 6 months to get functional, then 9 months more to get kind of better, then a year to get to pissed off about the things that were wrong instead of just too sad to deal with them. Ended a relationship with my wife, moved out, got a new job, then an awesome new job. Started getting my finances under control. Cut off some friends who were part of the problem, got some new ones who aren't as much a part of the problem. Had probably the best 6 months of my life. The last three months have been rough. One of my girlfriends made a suicide attempt, the other got forced out of the country with a visa thing and won't be back until September or so. But that shit is stabilizing again. It's pretty awesome.
If I get the time, I'll flesh these stories (which I've told in some capacity before), but Alt-focus: I almost drowned, once. Flatlined a bunch of times, lungs collapsing, two week hospital stay, etc. It was nothing compared to basically watching my brother die. On my mother's birthday.
I accomplished one of my dreams (being in my current job, which requires a fairly rigorous selection process) powered by hate alone.