I'm telling yall- this is the year! I played my last college football game about 6 years ago, and every year I watch the draft and don't hear my name called. But not this year! THIS IS THE YEAR BLUEDOG GETS DRAFTED! If there's one thing I know for sure, its that there are not that many really pale white tightends who run 5-day 40's available this year, so I should be in demand. Plus, I have athletes foot. YOU HEAR THAT REX RYAN? I HAVE THE FEET OF AN ATHLETE! AND I LOVE TIM TEBOW AND HATE NACHO JUST AS MUCH AS YOU DO! FUCK YEAH! So yeah, fingers crossed. To celebrate, I'll sip my Old Charter every time I hear a name called that's not mine. Who's with me?
And after nearly two weeks of being late, my girlfriend finally got her period. Holy shit that's a huge fucking relief. I'm making myself a classy drink tonight. White Russian? Why yes, I think I will.
I've already won the weekend. I'm getting dragged to an event hosted by the <a class="postlink" href="http://www.IvyPlusSociety.org" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.IvyPlusSociety.org</a>. Basically its a meat market for pretentious Ivy League graduates and Ivy League wannabes (schools not actually in the actual Ivy League). I'm paying $15 dollars to drink high end booze for 4 hours. I can't wait to talk about all these people I'm going to run into tonight. I'm sure it will be droll.
I want to do a jogging pub crawl. Teams have to run to various bars and chug a drink. The losing team has to eat the mayonnaise, squid, and hummus mixture we put in the underpants of the fattest runner. Strong beer special night at the German bar tonight. I'm feeling saucy. So it looks like I'll be wearing pants.
My sister got me a bottle of Knob Creek for my birthday. Yep, she's awesome, and yep it's as good as the last time I had it.
Georgetown Day, bitches. Got my Wild Turkey American Honey ready to go. Drinking starts at 8 am tomorrow.
What the fuck is an infrared grill? It's the biggest blasphemy in the book of BBQ. I have an oven, I don't need the same thing outside. Oh no, not flareups! What a bunch of pussies.
Stephon Gilmore is the first draft pick I see with a well fitting, well cut suit. Props to that man for not looking like he shopped at the store that outfitted henchmen in Dick Tracy.
Oh, LOOK, it's the Bayou Moderateaux coming to phone in another WDT. Don't you hate the mods here? Everybody, let's demand our hard earned pageviews back so they can stop getting those sweet sweet dollars. Does anybody know how to un-see three months worth of "CougarLife" and "Stop Dong Lovers Now!" ads? Mods here are like cops -- they love donuts and mustache play
Unlike you guys, South Africa has a long weekend here. 27th April is Freedom Day, and is usually the date for National Elections in an election year. We also get the 1st of May off (Workers' Day). So I will be enjoying my long weekend, and most likely having a few drinks. Oh, I also did some manscaping (I'm not actually sure if there is another term for it?), and managed to not cut my balls off with the electric trimmer, which is a win in my book.
Thank God, that IS a relief, she wouldn't stop with the fucking texts. "I might be pregnant," "I don't know whose it is" and insipid stuff like that. I was quite concerned. Teach me to not use a condom.
Freedom Day for anywhere in Africa seems mean to the people that live there, considering it's such a great place. PS, has anyone ever looked more depressed than the dude that Buffalo got?
Ditto, without the two weeks late thing. To whit, I spent 45 minutes on my knees tonight... removing grout haze. I am a tiling goddess.