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Women, Know Your Limits!

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Revengeofthenerds, Sep 4, 2013.

  1. Revengeofthenerds

    Revengeofthenerds
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    Women, know your limits!

    Inspired by this:



    Focus: Imagine you're back in the glory years, when men worked at the same company from age 18 until they retired, and women stayed in the kitchen where they belonged. As applied to today's society, what "rules" do you deem necessary for each sex?

    (Obviously, this is the antithesis of a sober thread; as a rule of thumb, consider "is my post about to make me sound like "The Bunny?" before you hit reply. If it will, just lurk.)
     
    #1 Revengeofthenerds, Sep 4, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  2. Nom Chompsky

    Nom Chompsky
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    Honorary TiBette

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  3. Crown Royal

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    Just call me Topher

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    Remember ladies, you tell the nice officers that you "ran into a door." It doesn't count if it's a beating out of love.
     
  4. Noland

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    None. There are no rules.

    Does that make me Bunny?
     
  5. wexton

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    No she would have no rules or females but rules for males.
     
  6. iczorro

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    If I get off work at 5, you will make my Old Fashioned at 5:15, and then remake it every five minutes until I get home, in case of traffic.

    Do not ask me how work was. Work's work. Uhng.

    I will bring home the bacon. You will cook that shit. Every meal.

    June Cleaver dresses only (including apron). And I will bend you over the nearest piece of furniture without taking that dress off if I like.
     
  7. wilder111

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    Disturbed

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    pumpkin, this big man-brain can't possibly be bothered to keep up with, or follow every little thing that you decide is important, especially while the game is on. Does the kitchen floor look dirty to you? You're the best. *shakes rocks glass*
     
  8. Misanthropic

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    As a man, with a stressful job that you couldn't possibly understand, it is necessary for me to blow off a little steam from time to time. Therefore, you will not question the time of my arrival home, why I smell like a distillery, or why I have glitter in my underwear. Dinner will be waiting for me regardless of my time of arrival home, but I will allow you to microwave it when you hear my car pull into the driveway.

    You will not interrupt me when I am speaking. Or writing something down. Or reading. Or listening to someone other than yourself. This includes when I have friends over, when I'm making my football pool picks, when I'm playing Call of Duty, or when I'm trolling Facebook for ex-girlfriends.

    The children will be properly clothed, fed, bathed, and their homework completed. I will have no part in the process. The children may address me as "Sir", except on their birthdays and Christmas, when they may call me "father". I will not attend back to school nights, parent/teacher conferences, school plays or concerts, or family counseling. As the birth-giver, tending to our brood is your responsibility.
     
  9. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    And when you bring me that beer it had better be OPEN when it hits my ManHands, house-waitress!
     
  10. caseykasem

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    I require a morning blow job before you make the breakfast while I'm in the shower. When I come home, I expect you to keep your trap shut while I read the paper as you put the finishing touches on dinner.

    While we eat, I will tell you the happenings of the office and other interesting things of the world that I think you should know. After I'm finished you may tell me about the children but under no circumstances are you to tell me about your day that consisted of cooking and cleaning. I don't care.

    After dinner you will do the dishes and put the kids to bed as I drink and read. When you're finished putting the kids to bed we will retire to the master bedroom where I will fuck you any way I like and give absolutely zero shits about you cumming. If you don't orgasm, you may go into the guest bedroom and finish the job yourself. I cannot have you laying next to me playing with your hairy fish, as I need a good nights sleep so that I may go to my man-office and do manly work tomorrow.
     
  11. Revengeofthenerds

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    My tools have a place. That place is "any place I fucking put them." Leave them in their place.

    Actually on that note, if you don't know what something is, what it does, and/or how to use it, don't fucking touch it. Don't even ask me what it is, what it does, how to use it or where you should put it. Chances are, it's a tool, a piece of hardware, a video game, a bottle of alcohol, a gun or gunsmith tool, or another one of my various pieces of personal property. Don't fucking touch it.

    The kitchen is yours. It is also mine, but it is the only thing that is yours.

    When I call you, you will answer. When you call me and I don't answer or forward you to voicemail, assume I am busy with something more important than talking to you. I'll either call you back when I get a chance or get bored, or I will see you when you get home.

    If you get a speeding ticket, it is your fault and you shouldn't be going that fast. If I get a speeding ticket, well, it's the cost of having a good time.
     
  12. lust4life

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    I'll damn well leave the toilet seat up if I want to! Now make me a sandwich.
     
  13. JoeCanada

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    This is a weird thread.
     
  14. xrayvision

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    Because some people are joking. And others clearly aren't .
     
  15. ghettoastronaut

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    Guess she isn't touching your penis, then.
     
  16. Revengeofthenerds

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    No, she knows EXACTLY what to do with that, and where to put it.

    Mrs. Revengeofthenerds is trying to get pregnant right now, and I'm thoroughly enjoying the "trying" part. She's not gonna waste a single drop of my man juice.
     
  17. ghettoastronaut

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    Really? Because it seems to me that if she actually does get pregnant, that'd be a waste.
     
  18. Roxanne

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    Can we objectify men too, or is it only the fairer sex?

    Anyway. Presentability! All ladies must always have their nails perfectly done, their makeup perfectly in place, hair coiffed, and clothed in a wide array of dresses ranging from adorable to sexy as hell. No housework is to be completed without the aid of high heels. Tears are only allowed if they're a prelude to sex, or occur during sex. This erection isn't going to keep itself, you know.
     
  19. toddamus

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    I think it'd be interesting to see what the women have say.
     
  20. Revengeofthenerds

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    Ditto.