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Witch Doctors, Shaymans and Old Wives Tales.

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Bundy Bear, Oct 12, 2011.

  1. Bundy Bear

    Bundy Bear
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    Not sure if this has been done before but I'm currently off work for a month on holiday doing my best to drink my weight in alcohol before I go home. Was only back here a week before I picked up a bug and have been coughing a lung up for a week now.

    Focus: What are some old family remedies or something sketchy you've heard of before to cure all manner of illness and ailments.

    Alt Focus: What is the sketchiest thing you've ever tried to get rid of your sickness?
     
  2. Nettdata

    Nettdata
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    Mr. Toast

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    Where I hunt there is a root that, creatively enough, is called "Golden Thread", because it looks like gold thread.

    I have a couple of large zip loc bags of the stuff, because it's the best thing I've ever found for dealing with early onset sore throat. You basically grab some, chew on it for a while, and the odds are your sore throat is a thing of the past.

     
    #2 Nettdata, Oct 14, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  3. Noland

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    My grandmother believed that hot toddies would cure anything. When my brother and I were kids and caught the flu she'd come over and berate my mother because she had not filled us with booze. She was a fun old lady.
     
  4. effinshenanigans

    effinshenanigans
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    Jagermeister was originally marketed as an cure-all in the 30s. Which is funny, since that basically means that you could cure the hangover you got from drinking too much Jager with Jager.
     
  5. Misanthropic

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    On several occasions upon feeling the onset of a nasty cold, I've retreated to my bar and proceeded to drink my weight in screwdrivers. The combination of massive amounts of Vitamin C and greatly elevated BAC seems to work every time.
     
  6. mya

    mya
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    Anybody got any good home remedies for laryngitis? I thought my husband would be overjoyed with his newly mute wife, but he came home for lunch and kept trying to talk to me. I answered once, he said "you sound terrible", went back to his lunch and proceeded to ask me questions every few seconds. I responded with a mix of nodding and shaking, blank looks, and blatant ignoring. It isn't in my nature to not talk back so this could be a really annoying weekend.
     
  7. dixiebandit69

    dixiebandit69
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    Focus:This is an old Mexican folk remedy. When my ex-wife was pregnant with our son, there was going to be a lunar eclipse. Her mother and grandmother warned her that she needed to wear a key, a safety pin, or some other piece of metal tied around her belly, or else our son would suffer some unspecified birth defects.
    Our bullshit detectors immediately went off, but we lied to them and told them that she would do it so as not to start a fight. About six months later, OUR SON WAS BORN WITH TWO HEADS!

    I'm just yankin' your chain; he was born exceptionally healthy.

    The most annoying part about that wive's tale:
    When I was in rehab, a woman from one of the county health clinics came by to talk to the inmates about STDs/safe sex/birth control/etc. At the end of her presentation she started taking questions, and someone asked about the eclipse/key remedy.
    THE STUPID BITCH SAID THAT IT WAS TRUE!
    Where does she get off? It's her job to be well informed about all things medical, and here she is trying to pass off bullshit as fact!
    I was always pretty quiet in rehab and kept to myself, but this time I just couldn't take it. I started grilling her with questions about the actual validity of that folk remedy, and she couldn't give me any kind of straight answer. I also told her about my son, and she didn't have an answer for that either.
    In the end she just said that she would look into it later. I bet she didn't.
     

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  8. lust4life

    lust4life
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    Most know that originally, Coca-Cola contained cocaine However, the original 7-Up formula contained lithium citrate up until the 50s and was originally marketed as a "patent medicine" (cure all), hangovers being one of the many ailments it claimed to cure. Before the Narcotics Act, one could purchase heroin and morphine from the Sears Roebuck catalog, complete with syringe and fancy tin case. This was popular with farm wives for treating their menstrual cramps. Alcohol, morphine and heroin were all very common ingredients in the "patent medicines" back then.

    When we were kids and caught a head cold, my grandmother would buy a horseradish root and grate it. A tablespoon opened the sinuses right up. Camphor oil on a cotton ball was used for an earache. My mom's cooking was a wonderful emetic.
     
  9. BL1Y

    BL1Y
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    Laryngitis is the cure.

    (But maybe mix some bourbon and honey.)
     
  10. Roxanne

    Roxanne
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    Wrong, hot toddy.

    Brandy, lemons, cloves, cinnamon and honey, all warm and fuzzy in your tummy. Makes any cold a beautiful experience.
     
  11. Omegaham

    Omegaham
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    Alt-focus: In boot camp, the fact that we had about 85 people living together meant that disease spread like wildfire. One of the diseases that spread was conjunctivitis.

    The cure? Lie down on your bunk, have a couple buddies hold you down, and fill your eye with Purell. Oh GOD, that hurt. I guess it worked, but I'm not sure if it was worth it.

    The resulting investigation into why Purell cured pinkeye resulted in a bunch of recruits taking advantage of its 70% alcohol content. Excellent.
     
  12. Nom Chompsky

    Nom Chompsky
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    Sex.

    Preferably with a witch doctor, though an old wife will do in a pinch.