1. The only constant in life is change. 2. Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're right. (Henry Ford) 3. Always check the bread for mold.
I haven't quite seen this issue addressed on this thread yet, so I figured I'd go ahead and solicit advice on it. There have been several posts advising to "ignore social timelines," not to put an expiration date on [major life event]. But my question isn't about when I should achieve a particular goal, but rather, what it is I should strive to achieve. I'll try to clarify... Growing up, I'd internalized certain things about how my life would turn out. For example, it was always understood that I'd go to college. There wasn't ever a sit-down with my parents in adolescence where they told me, "Okay, now you should start thinking about going to college after high school." The implication was always there, from a young age. Allegedly, my kindergarten teacher once said, "He'll have his own theorem someday." Granted, I was (is?) smart, but I was no Will Hunting. There's been this ever-present idea that I'd go to college and, subsequently, see greater success. I may not necessarily want to, but I should, because that's The Way Things Are. Which leads me back to my question: how much is good enough? I realize life isn't a game in which whoever has the most toys at the end wins, but my whole life, there's been this pressure (more so on myself than from others) that I not only have to do well, but to leave my mark on the world in some tangible, invaluable way. The house, picket fence, and 2.3 kids wouldn't be enough; anyone can do that. If I don't end up with a building named after me or something, then I've somehow failed. It's not recognition for recognition's sake, but trying to prove my worth to others, even though I don't feel the same need to prove it to myself. I apologize for being so autobiographical in this post. I've had a lot of difficulty putting this into words over the last couple of days. Can any of you older board members relate to what I'm talking about? Did you have times when you were young and "the world was your oyster" that you felt obligated to capitalize on it? Simply put: am I trying to get too much out of life, and not appreciating the stuff that truly matters? I'd like to think I could be content in 50 years knowing that I raised a good family, status be goddamned.
http://www.theidiotboard.com/messageboard/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=1562 When someone takes the time to actually ask you for your input and wisdom, don't squander the opportunity with something inane, like an argument about texting. Contribute something useful.
Been there. And you're starting to answer your own questions. You're looking at yourself from the outside in, and you need to reverse your view. It doesn't matter how others perceive you, your true level of success is ultimately judged by you. If you end up having a building named after you only because that is what is expected of you from others, it might as well not exist at all. Reiterating several other posts on this thread -- "enough" is whatever you truly decide you want to do with your life. If you have a passion for yard maintenance and want to do landscaping your entire life, DO IT. In the end you and you alone will be the end results of the choices you made, and in the grand scheme of life you only answer to yourself.
What you should stop doing, is asking other people for the answer to this question. No one else can tell you what really matters, what stuff you should achieve, what you should try to get out of life, if raising a family is enough. etc. Ultimately, you need to decide what makes you happy. What you want. What you want to work for. And then you need to remember that you're 19/21/25/30/50/whatever and that the things that make you happy won't always make you happy and the things you want now aren't necessarily the things you'll want in 30 years. Life is figuring out how to balance being happy now and being happy in the future.
One thing that I don't think that I have seen mentioned yet, take care of your 20 year old body, because your 60 year old self is going to have to pay for the shitty choices that you made. And for god's sake, don't start smoking.