I stayed in my last relationship despite is being utterly toxic because of one reason only, I was madly and utterly in love with this woman. She had a lot of mental problems and daddy issues which I knew about up front but had this AMAZING energy which drew me to her. All of my friends warned me about her and her reputation. I clearly ignored them. A year and a half later we broke up. By the end of the breakup I've got major depression because this woman was everything to me and I never felt secure in the relationship (normally not my style) and wound up with crippling anxiety I took meds for. We stayed sort of friends for a while and she would message me every few months sort of leading me on. The final straw was she had a migraine one day and acted like an absolute jerk despite the fact I had just given her several hundred bucks to help her pay rent. I accused her of using me for money which she balked at and threw a huge fuss about. Several months pass by and I come across some messages between her and a friend. Apparently she was seeing two people during the time we dated and fucked two guys on the same day two weeks after we broke up. Oh and the argument she balked at? She admitted to her friend that she didn't break up with me that month because "I need his money this month". I'm still unsure if the entire relationship was a lie or what was truth. Thinking about it, I actually think she might be a sociopath. Total mind fuck.
How timely. The current girlfriend just told me tonight that she cheated on me Friday night. She had previously cheated on me with the same dude, who is about to make partner at her law firm, in June. I stayed these past few months because besides this, she is the best person I know. She's drop dead gorgeous, smart, funny, and has a soft heart. Apparently just not for me. However, this time they actually fucked instead of just being naked and in the same bed (not much difference in my book). Because of this, I'm out. I stayed in college with a girl who cheated on me because I was too stupid to pull the trigger on the toxic relationship I hated. I was too much of a bitch to hurt her and put her feelings first. Because of this, I stayed way longer than I should have and didn't pull the trigger until the day I left for law school.
You know they fucked that first time as well, right? She only tried to mitigate the offense by saying they were naked but didn't actually do anything. Quite frankly, I'm not sure how you didn't cave her skull in with a hammer, but that's just me.
I missed this by a bit, but when you actually reflect on that sentiment, is it all terrifying? I mean I know I'm not monogamous and whatever, but your imagination of this scenario leads you to brutal and bloody murder because she might have touched a dick in your interpretation of what she told you? Not 'Hey, this doesn't really work for me in a monogamous relationship and I don't really feel like I can trust you enough to be with you, we should go our separate ways' or even 'You cheating fucking cunt, get your shit and get out' but cave in her head with a fucking hammer? Jesus.
Focus: I stayed because I was in love for the first time ever, even though she was bat shit crazy. She was also really good at making a good impression on people and I was admittedly afraid of backlash for breaking up with her from all the people who thought she was "a great girl" when she was in fact a psychopath. I never dished on her to my friends because I cared deeply for her. Family loved her, too. Stayed with her even though I found out she cheated early on in relationship. Stayed at the very end a month or so longer than I wanted because I was staying with her at the time and was at the time getting my shit together to go back to school. When I dumped her, it was the event I needed to reevaluate my life and that is when I moved to Las Vegas, which set everything in motion that got me to where I am today. So overall, I don't mind the mistakes in sticking it out. Unfortunately, psycho bitch still cyber stalks me and tries to befriend people I'm friends with. Super weird. Oh, and the sex was outstanding. As in...outstanding fucking.
There is no such thing as "lying naked in the same bed." Ever. They fucked and that's all there is to it. She also does not have a soft heart. She is a cheating slut who looks like she's trying to fuck her way up the ladder. She obviously doesn't give a shit about you--at all-- so my advice is slam the lid shut because this will happen over and over. Believe it. Never speaking to her again would be the best course of action.
I had a friend that I was in love with for a long time, but we never dated. He had so many parental issues and anger problems wrapped in a thin veneer of career ambition that broken, self-destructive early-20s Roxanne REALLY wanted to get a piece of that. The one thing that would always rev me up was the phrase, "Dude, what the FUCK do you see in that guy," and that is what everyone said about him, namely because he was not attractive and also incredibly aggressive and assholeish. Hence the love. Anyway, this went on for years, me just wanting him to love me, him rejecting me in the most horrendous and painful ways. I could have written a Russian novel about how many ways he tried to get me to stop wanting him. The irony was that he was so afraid of someone having that strong of emotions for him that he fiercely sought to rebuff me, but him being a young guy and me having nice boobs meant he also wanted me, but didn't know what to do about it. Eventually he graduated college, and decided this five-year dance of angrily hooking up with me and then ignoring me for a year probably could be translated into an actual relationship. But by that point, he had bought a jacket exactly like the one my dad had worn every day for years when I was growing up, and I finally realized in a sharp instant that I was trying to fuck the angry, emotional Chinese finger-trap that was my father, only instead of a 5'10" Persian man shaped like a square I was after a muscular 5'8" Mexican dude shaped like a rectangle. That led to the worst breakup of my life, mostly because A. I never even got to have any angry, fucked up sex and B. refer to point A. He sat me down and asked point blank, "What are we doing?" to which I eloquently responded, "Uh, sitting in my apartment..." which was incendiary enough that he stormed out and read a book on General Sherman's policies about scorching the goddamn earth. I nearly lost my best friend, a mutual friend of me and the Crazy Person, in the fallout of this breakup, because it was so ridiculous. He had his sister send me shitty text messages about what a whore I was, he would come to parties I was supposed to be at and say insanely passive-aggressive things to me for no reason. Usual breakup things except WE NEVER DATED. I learned more from that non-relationship than anything I ever learned in my life. First of all, don't try and date your dad when you already know he sucks. Second, people can be shitty no matter what the circumstances. Third, there is nothing you can do if someone decides they're going to hate you because they think you owe them something. Fourth, no Catholics or Muslims, only Jews. It's been working out pretty well so far.