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Why women love self-absorbed psychopaths

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by toddus, Mar 2, 2010.

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  1. toddus

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    I think the study may not have accurately accounted for the fact those who are found to be deceitful and narcissistic probably have no issue lying to a scientist about the number of girls 'they have totally slayed'.
     
  2. Nitwit

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    Is it all the same thread today? Here again.

     
    #2 Nitwit, Mar 2, 2010
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  3. Supertramp

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    It's not that wrong Chater, the article isn't articulate enough but evolutionary psychology can explain a lot of common human behaviour - especially the ones mentioned in the article. I recommend the book "Why beautiful people have more daughters", it's enlightening.
     
  4. Indiana

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    Same as from the other thread:
    Bottom line:



    Get it Serena.
     
    #4 Indiana, Mar 2, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  5. jennitalia

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    Please don't cry more than I do. I saw my last boyfriend cry several times over shit that wasn't worth crying about. It made me uncomfortable. I would understand if a family member/friend/cherished pet died, but crying because I'm pissed at you? No.
     
  6. ClaireV

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    Be ambitious. About anything. Showing that you're passionate about something is a big turn on. And showers longer than 10 minutes are only acceptable if you're not in it alone.
     
  7. Indiana

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    Personality traits on a guy:
    - I adore chill guys who can roll with the punches. Spontaneous, crazy, and flares of anger that recede quickly would be the weather report for Indiana in the coming 60-70 years, so any guy who can hang with me has to be flexible.
    - Loves to read, can teach me new things, is quick enough to pick up on my horribly dry sense of humor.
    - Is genuinely a good person. ie: Takes care of his friends, calls his Mom on her birthday, helps people out, treats me and the people I love well, etc.
    - Loves to watch football with me.

    Everything else is a perk. And I don't think I'm asking for a lot when I say I want a chill, smart, football watching man with a soul. Plus, if you're nice to me, I'll be nice to you. Here are some cupcakes I made for my boy (a huge Steelers fan) a few months ago for the Oakland game. Pittsburg lost, but it's the thought that counts.
     

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  8. Roxanne

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    Capability and authority.

    I don't want a guy to agree with everything I say, because I know sometimes I'm saying retarded things. He should be calling me on that.

    Likewise, I don't want a guy who is insecure about doing things. You can be unsure of what to do, but as long as you're projecting an air of confidence that you'll figure out how to do it and then do it better than anyone there, I will still be supporting you.

    Mostly all I look for in a guy personality-wise is that he's a person I can respect with enough confidence in himself that I feel confident in him too.
     
  9. mya

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    Have your own opinions, be able to carry on a conversation, be genuinely interested and interesting. I'll second the ambition thing. Wanting to be with somebody who has a job he is passionate about doesn't make me a gold digger, it makes me realistic. I care about my job and work hard, I expect the same and will lose respect for you if you do not. Take pride in yourself (within reason - too much of that is equally a turn off). I don't need you to be cut like Brad Pitt in Fight Club, but at least try to keep yourself in decent shape (since I work in healthcare, I really AM concerned about the health aspects associated with a shitty lifestyle moreso than the purely physical benefits). Don't buy into the whole male/female stereotypes. I am not a delicate flower who needs your protection and I actually prefer to be a little on the independent side. Don't be intimidated by it. And just because I was born with a vagina, I am not superior in cooking and cleaning. I learned to do, and you are capable of the same. (not to sound all feminist, I actually do most of the cooking because I enjoy it, but there is a trade off)
     
  10. Dcc001

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    This is actually a subject that’s been on my mind quite a bit recently. Why the dichotomy between the sensible “nice guy” and the attraction to the unavailable, emotionally detached black hole?

    In my own life, I find that I like it when a guy is smarter and stronger than me. It allows me to be at ease with what I say and what I do if I feel that he will call my bullshit and stand up for himself. Hardcore debating over an issue is a turn-on; not only do I get to learn about the other side of whatever it is we’re discussing, but it shows that the guy has balls.

    I tend to be a little bit alpha, particularly with other women. If for some reason I sense a power vacuum I gradually take over, whether or not it is the wise thing to do. If I’m around someone whom I perceive as stronger or smarter than I am, I back down and don’t feel the pressure of having to be in charge, and I don’t turn into the uncompromising bitch I have it within me to be.

    The downside of all this is that the guy who’s smart, strong, stubborn and somewhat aggressive is never ever the guy who’s sweet, loving and attentive. It’s a constant battle between the intellect and the gut.

    Additionally, I like it when men observe the rules of etiquette. Open the door for her, walk on the street side when you’re strolling down the sidewalk, pull out her chair, etc. Not because you are a pussy-whipped bitch, but because you know the rules of polite society and are extending her the courtesy of following them. If she’s some sort of crazy militant feminist who tears a strip off you for opening the door, then fuck her. She’s not worth your time.
     
  11. shegirl

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    Everything has been said a few times over but worded differently. But, I don't want to feel all left out like the loser in the corner that never makes eye contact.

    Be polite to service workers and such.
    Don't look down your nose at anyone because you never know where they've been in their life.
    Be nice to animals and especially nice to dogs because they rule.
    Treat your elders well.
    Don't tell me about your ex's referring to them as cunts and whores. You can get your point across and sound far more intelligent if you choose your words better.
    I don't want some nancyboy that runs to my car door every time to unlock/open it for me, but dude, if you don't to the lean and unlock take me home please.
    Although I don't want you to dress better than I do, I don't want to see you in board shorts and flip flops 24/7.
    Speaking of feet, listen up boys, flip flops are acceptable but for god sake have a real pair of shoes AND wear them. Your toehair is not near as attractive as you seem to think and, cut your toenails flip flops or not, I will eventually see your feet.
    Lastly for me, confidence as mentioned above, is huge. You don't have to be the hottest one in the room to turn my head. But, if you are comfortable in your skin you will carry yourself with an air of confidence and you will.
    And yeah yeah nothing physical but, for me being over 5'11" would be nice.
     
  12. jennitalia

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    Exactly, I could have not said it better myself.

    Having some shared interests is good as well, but also having things that you don't have to do together makes for a good relationship. Being able to hold an intelligent conversation about current happenings and other things of that ilk is always a plus in my books.
     
  13. Maltob14

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    Don't be such a hippie. Are you saying bare-knuckle boxing a kodiak bear and beating it to death isn't manly? Remind me to piss thunder while I'm doing it next time. Jesus...
     
  14. CharlesJohnson

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    Here I thought a woman loved a bad man because she thought she could fix him.

    "Sure he tried to stab my brother and cheats on me constantly, but I can help him change!"
     
  15. shegirl

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    Oh they do but, just because I'd let Eminem (I know he was a chub, was) into my room doesn't mean I want to change him, it means I want to do naughty things with him. It's all a matter of perception I suppose.

    Edit: Nett, Drake and BD it's a good thing you like me for my sweater pups and not my ability to spell.
     
  16. Roxanne

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    There are women like this. In my experience, they are almost always women who are so insecure in themselves that they have to be with a man who sucks more than they do. It's like girls who go out clubbing only with their fat friends, so guys will think they look better in comparison.
     
  17. shadowofadoubt

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    Ideally I would want a balance of a man that is confident and independent, but also considerate. I haven't found my ideal balance of this yet, and I have tended to date men that half-jokingly would label themselves assholes. That's a far cry from a sociopath, though.

    If the guy isn't confident, a bit of a risk taker, and very importantly, doesn't fear rejection, I will lose interest. Fast. I consider myself a fairly shallow person, but those traits are key.

    For example, there was a really attractive guy like this in one of my classes that I noticed would try to sit next to me, always say hello to me, and would stare at me longer than was necessary, but just would not put himself out there. It felt like he was being safe by being somewhat friendly and hoping that would be enough. It wasn't.

    I've never been one to make friends and then discover the attraction later on, if I'm initially attracted to the person I make it very clear and am even more attracted if they feel and show the same without fear. If they don't share that, if they prefer to give the illusion of a friendship, displaying no hint of interest, and then ask me out a year later, I guarantee I will reject them.
     
  18. Pinkcup

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    Empathy and kindness. He's gotta have 'em. As I get older, I'm coming to the realization that all of the personality traits I find attractive eventually boil down to empathy and kindness.*

    -The very broad term of "manners" is actually nothing more than a set of social behaviors that take the comfort and needs of others into consideration before acting/speaking. Empathy, kindness--check.

    -Politically, everything I agree with has to do with the above two traits. Example: A male feminist (makes my panties wet) because he has the ability to empathize with the issues facing women today and see things from a non-male perspective...and the kindness to deeply care about the struggles of an entire gender that isn't his own. Swoon. This also goes for being pro-choice, being environmentally conscious,and blah blah blah more political stuff no one wants to talk about.

    -This may be stretching a bit, but I firmly believe that bedroom skillz are related to these two traits. No truly kind man would jack-hammer fuck my ladyparts for 45 minutes and think that all was well.

    -Animals, kids, the elderly, service people....in order to be nice those groups, you have to have some measure of innate kindness and empathy.





    *I can't really relate the two to intelligence or humor, but they both heavily influence the type of intelligence/humor that a dude can have.

    EDIT: MoreCowbell makes a good point.
     
  19. MoreCowbell

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    Add the service industry for me. It really bothers me when I see someone abuse the customer/employee power dynamic, and I have stopped dating a girl because her rudeness to a waiter made me uncomfortable.
     
  20. BaseballGuyCAA

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    Women don't love self-absorbed psychopaths. Insecure, self-loathing cum dumpsters love self-absorbed psychopaths. And you know what? Insecure, self-loathing cum dumpsters get around. And around. And around. Usually, to all the self-absorbed psychopaths in the area (campus, city, office, what have you).

    Study explained. You're welcome.
     
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