Last night, the girlfriend and I chased a mouse out of our apartment. With the combined force of a mop, a broom, a bent broom handle and a handsaw. At one point, she was hopping up and down in the hopes that the noise from her flip flops would scare it out of our room. Incredibly ridiculous, as neither one of us really minds mice, cockroaches, etc. However if it was one of these: I would have killed it on sight. I absolutely hate those things and have been known to attack them with any implement, especially car tires. FOCUS: What animals do you hate? What should be extinct? Alt. focus: What are some gross animals that you like?
The California Condor I can remember when I was a little Tibber in the early eighties and everyone was whining and sniveling about this species of fucking bird that was about to go extinct. At one time there was only 30 of them left, and with the help of knob gobblers in California they have recovered and are now over 300 strong. Translation. This bird is so bad and sustaining life that it needs the help of Californians to reproduce. Kinda like Pandas and Chinamen, but less cute with about the same sprinkling of idiocy. The Condor serves no purpose in the fucking food chain. It eats dead shit. Guess what happens when it doesn't do its job? Nothing. That's what. But environmental do gooders think that this species being eradicated from the planet is going to somehow tip the scales and we are worlds are going to collide. It isn't hippies. So smoke another bing-er and calm down. It's just a couple of fucking birds that feed on dead shit. When they aren't around anymore, the dead shit will still be dead and will disintegrate into whatever dead shit disintegrates into..... Ask yourself this question: "Why were there so little Condor's to begin with? We're they hunted to extinction like some other specie on this planet? Was their fur, skin, or meat prized so much that they are almost eradicated from the planet?" NO. According to some shit that I read because I just wrote this stupid post, they died because their habitat was eliminated. And this is the funny part. Their habitat is the fucking desert. Has the fucking desert shrank lately? According to Al Gore and his internets, IT FUCKING HASN'T. There are only 300 of the fucking things left because they have failed to survive on this planet. They have failed to evolve. They have failed to even reproduce effectively. They are worthless, and just like the Housewives of Everywhere, I hope they burn in hell.
Yellowjackets. Sure, wasps and hornets are annoying, creepy and useless, but yellowjackets are special: the HATE the smell of any hygene products whatsoever and they LOVE to chase you if you wear any. Thye set up nests in days just about anywhere and instantly become territorial. Annoying, hard-stinging buzz-in-your-ear-and-give-you-the-heebie-Jeebies fucking pieces of shit. Put on this earth to irritate me and creep me out, and nothing more.
There are a few small animals I have an irrational hatred for beyond most peoples comprehension but the one that takes the cake is a Magpie. These apparently cute and loveable birds turn into a fucking nightmarish menace during mating season. They will swoop anything and everything that comes within a 1km radius of its nesting area and more often than not take pieces of flesh as its price. I have lost chunks of skin from behind my ears and the back of me head many times while riding my bike through areas where these foul fucking birds live. The nasty little fuckers need to recognise their place in the food chain and realise if they continue to come after me they will find themselves on the wrong end of a high powered rifle. For those of you who don't know what it looks like. Spoiler
Tarantulas. I have handled snakes since I was 5, I've picked up rodents with my bare hands, and I see insects as nothing more than an annoyance. But, after watching Arachnophobia at a too-young age, I can't stand tarantulas.
Armadillos. They have migrated too far north here in Georgia. When I was a kid, they were never around these parts. Now I shoot 4 or 5 in my yard every year. They're nasty and the stink, stink, stink when they die. Before my dad died, we were chatting with a couple guys one time, talking about pests. One guy said, "Armadillos aren't supposed to be this far north - it's too cold." My dad said, "Yeah, well somebody forgot to tell the armadillos." Fucking possum on the half shell ruining my yard.
Mosquitos I can't adequately put into words my hatred for this menace. I watched a TED talk a while back where some guy had rigged up a video-camera to a laser that was just high-powered enough to vaporize insect wings, and he programmed it to track and eliminate these bloodsucking annoyances. The part where the slowed the video down and zoomed in so you could actually see the wing dissolving and then saw the damned beast start falling right out of the sky - one of the happiest moments in my life.
Anti-Focus: I keep around every spider I see as long as it doesn't looks like a brown recluse. I have no problem opening up my home to something that's going to build traps and then eat all the flies and mosquitoes.
It's a good thing your photo doesn't show their tails. As if they couldn't get worse, their XXL rat tail does just that. I'd feel a lot better if I knew that trash can was about to be sealed up and thrown off a cliff. Possums are the worst. Ugly fleabag vermin.
Awww, possums are cute. My teacher has one and that animal is so chill. Possums' eye sight sucks, getting progressively worse as they age. His possum is cross eyed, fat, and old. Focus: There really are not any animals that I would like to see wiped off the face of the planet. There are a few parasites that I'd like to see go, however. Some of them wreck such complete and utter havoc on their hosts that it is just heartbreaking to see, specifically, River Blindness that is carried exclusively by the black fly, and Malaria by mosquitoes. Luckily the Gates Foundation is throwing a ton of money at creating vaccines for these diseases, so their existence may not be a big deal after awhile.
Focus: Ticks. NSFW Seriously, what purpose do they serve? Nothing eats them. All they do is attach themselves to an animal and suck blood until they die. What kind of life is that? Whenever some Jesus freak starts an arguement against evolution, I bring up ticks. If God has some master plan, what did he make ticks for?
How has the worst possible bug on the universe not been named yet? Fucking house centipedes. Also earwigs. Apparently they don't actually go into ears, at least not as often as some beetles and cockroaches do, but they still represent my second worst fear ever.
I can tell. Get up close to one (like getting up in the loft of a barn and surprising a few) and you'll feel differently.
Then there's the fun playing dead trick. That's the one thing they've got going for them. Sack, they're just like raccoons in the sense that they shit all over where they live, spread diseases, get into stored food/grains, and are good at reproducing. Then we get to the ugly part again, and I think they're repulsive based on looks alone.