Who? Oh my girlfriend? Naw didn't feel like bringing her...

So the recent topics about crazy ex's got me thinking, not about psycho bitches, but more about the dissolution of relationships and that moment when you realize that you really could care less about dating the other person. I have a roommate who is a complete pushover and languished in a festering sore of a relatinshiop for almost a year. He finally broke up with her out of nowhere surprising us all. When we asked him why, he simply responded "When my parents came to town and we went to dinner, I realized I had no desire to invite her to go with us at all." It sounded so simple, but when you think about not inviting your gf of 10 months to dinner with your parents when they've met her 5 times before, it says something about the relationship.

Me personally, it was a girl I had been dating for around a month and I was debating whether or not to get a bit more serious. Well I went away for a weekend to visit some friends and as we were out on Friday night, she texted me a pic of herself in the mirror followed by a few more "sexier" pictures. Instead of thinking they were hot and bemoaning the fact that I wasn't there to take advantage, I cared more about going to whatever bar we were in route to and chuckling at the stupid angles she was taking them. If I wasn't excited by attempts at risque picture sexting, then how the hell was I going to appropriately pursue a relationship. And like that I was out.

FOCUS: When did you realize a relationship wasn't gonna work? Was it a watershed moment or something insignificant that was the straw that broke the camel's back?

 

Probably when she moved to Oklahoma and stopped answering my phone calls.

 

When I couldn't cover the black eye with make-up. That was a rather significant day.

 

When we were studying together in college and at one point he looks at me and says "I hate the way you highlight".

 

When she started screaming at me after I said I wouldn't, in fact, be cool with her working in a strip club while we were dating.

 

When she asked me why I never told her I loved her and I replied, "Because I don't."

 

When I joking asked her to describe herself in one word and she said "Grubby" very seriously even though she was a pretty Indian girl that made more money than I did. We went out to dinner and I broke up with her.

 

When I saw her with a bite mark on her neck that I definitely hadn't put there.

 

When I was picking glass out of my bloody palm after a near-homicide experience. I'm shocked I didn't come to that realization sooner.

 

When a random guy asked me out and I wished I didn't have a boyfriend. I ended things that weekend thanks to a stranger I met running and never saw again. Thanks, random guy!

 

When I realized that I would get an almost uncontrollable urge to yawn every time she started talking.

 

When she said, "Cash only."

 

Challenge.

I love my girlfriend and love fucking her, but there are times every so often where I am too tired to thrust and would rather just fire up YouPorn.

I can't be alone on this one?

 

FOCUS: When did you realize a relationship wasn't gonna work? Was it a watershed moment or something insignificant that was the straw that broke the camel's back?


I dated a girl in college for about a year and a half. I had not so much as kissed another girl on the cheek since we started dating. I thought I was going to marry her. Right before Spring break my Junior year, she said she wanted to "talk." She told me we either needed to break up or take the next step in our relationship. (She wanted a ring.) Right after she said that, when I was pondering if I should say, "hmm, let me think about it and get back to you" I realized that having that thought meant it was already over.

So, I said, "hmm, let me think about it and get back to you." She said, "What? You have to think about it?! (We were going separate places for Spring Break, leaving the next day.) When you get back from Spring Break, you better decide if we're going to stay together!" I was 19 and immature, but I think I still would've handled it the same way later in life. I drove back to my apartment, went inside and called her on the phone. I said, "Yeah, I don't need to think about it for a week. We can go ahead and break up now. Bye."

Damn, that worked out nicely. I'm amazed thinking back about all that now. We saw each other every day for 18 months, never had to make plans for parties or formals or whatever, as we knew we would be with each other right up until that "talk." It ended abruptly right then. Of course, we hooked up a few times over then next couple months, just passionate sweaty old times sake in the stairwell of a hotel one more out our system kinda things, but it was over.

 

True dat. Sex with a woman takes a lot of time and prep work. You can't just shove the key in the ignition and slam 'er into gear. You've got to let it idle for a while, stroke the throttle just a little bit, and turn on the heater to get it warmed up before you drop it into gear, do a breakstand, and peel out of the driveway.

 

I was dating a girl for 3+ years and when I got the call my Dad had passed away, I asked if she could come give me some company. Her reply was that she had to help her daughter with her math homework. That was the beginning of the end.

 

With me it's always something small that sends me over the edge.

#1. I broke up with a girl I work with because she came to work on Columbus Day (my company lets you choose between Veterans Day and Columbus Day as a paid holiday... I prefer to take both) instead of going out with me like we planned. I called into the office, she answered, and never gave me an explanation, just talked work stuff. We definitely had plans and I was annoyed so the next day I came in and told her I didn't think it was working out. Never clarified anything and then didn't really talk to her for the next 3 years she worked here.

#2. Live in girlfriend NEVER filled the fucking iron reservoir or backup measuring cup I use for the iron in my laundry room. After asking nicely a few dozen times I snapped, kicked her out and stopped fucking her. Now shes a junkie.

 

When I had to get an STD/HIV panel because she snuck out behind my back to see a greasy greaseball.