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When the groom's away, the bride goes bananas

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Juice, May 5, 2015.

  1. Juice

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    I mentioned in the R&R thread about the crappy bachelor party I attended over the weekend. We went to a surprisingly not bad strip club on Saturday night. However, last night his fiance found lipstick on his white shirt and immediately accused him of cheating. He explained that we went to a strip club (which he originally did not want her to find out about), and she proceeded to text all the groomsmen's wive's and girlfriends about our adventures in a bizarre act of rage.

    Futurewife assumed we went to one anyway, but didn't give a shit because shes not insane or insecure about our relationship. That insanity was probably the best part of the whole experience.

    Focus: Any ridiculous stories from bachelor/bachelorette parties you've attended? Did the bride or groom get a little too familiar with someone else?

    Alt Focus: Any insane reactions from the spouses upon returning home?
     
  2. Flat_Rate

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    Don't all wives know that we go to the the titty bar for bachelor parties ? I feel like this should be common knowledge.
     
  3. Misanthropic

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    A female friend was the organizer of a bachlorette party for one of her friends. the basically just bar-hopped. She gave me the heads up on a bar they planned to stop at later in the evening, and suggested I meet them to hang out and do some shots with the bride to be. I knew most of the women involved, so I showed up and did some shots. I was getting ready to head home, when the bride to be started rubbing her boobs against my arm, and suggested that I bring her home. So I told my friend that I would take care of the bachelorette and make sure she got home safe. Which she did, the next morning, after getting dressed and thanking me.
     
  4. Crown Royal

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    So... she's "The One" for this guy, huh? He's got a happy road ahead of him.
     
  5. JWags

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    I went to 2 different bachelor parties in New Orleans in 2013.

    The first, for my old roommate, led to us meeting a bachelorette party from Charleston at dinner the first night. They were fun and friendly, but most alarmingly, the bachelorette took an aggressive liking to me. Told me all about how her fiancee lived in Brazil for work, how he wasn't exciting enough for her, and how I looked like and reminded her of a dude she used to bang all the time in college. We didn't hook up because I told her bluntly on Saturday night that the flirting and such was silly unless she was damn sure she wanted to wreck her pending nuptials and that snapped her out of her daze a bit. But that didn't stop her insane jealously when I was hitting on a different girl in her group leading to them having me feel up both of them in the back of a bar on Bourbon St and assess their respective nipple quality. We kept in touch a bit after, and surprising to nobody, she called off the engagement about 2 months later.

    Later that year, I went down with a different group of guys. We rented a balcony overlooking Bourbon St, which was an amazing choice. A good chunk were married but more than happy to help facilitate for the single dudes, so they took to the street to recruit females to come hang out. By the middle of the night, it was about a 2 or 3 to1 female to male ratio. My married friends were having a blast and flirting to an acceptable level, one single dude was getting blown in a hallway, I was talking to yet another engaged girl about how she didn't feel that monogamy was biologically feasible and her fiancee would just have to accept that (good gawd), and it was all good clean fun...except for the bachelor's brother in law to be. He also was engaged and flirting, but AGGRESSIVELY so. And by the middle of the evening was making out shamelessly with one of the less attractive females in the group. Its one thing to do that with your buddies or even at your own bachelor party (sheisty, but whatever) but to flagrantly do that at the bachelor party of the guy about to marry your sister? Holy shit. He was a complete moron. Needless to say, we all felt a little uncomfortable around him at the wedding as he was all kissy with his fiancee when we'd seen him trying to publically fingerbang a mediocre chick from Baton Rouge a few weeks earlier.
     
  6. guernica

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    I just got back from a buck's weekend. It was generally pretty tame, although the clear highlight was when the groom's Dad got a little bit too touchy with one of the strippers (big no-no here in Australia), and basically shoved his face inbetween her tits. She wasn't happy at all, and hearing he groom's brother say "please Dad, stop!" was about as awkwardingly hilarious as it gets.
     
  7. Flat_Rate

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    Man, you need to come to Myrtle Beach, bring your own booze and VIP rooms where anything goes, er I mean at least that's what I hear.

    From a friend.

    Possibly me.


    Ok it's me.




    I gotta plan another beach trip.
     
  8. tweetybird

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    One of my husband's good friends had his bachelor party in Austin. Which consisted of the groom, 6-7 dudes... and the bride.

    They've been together since college, and we've known them almost as long, so this was not entirely surprising. She's a really smart, fun, no-nonsense kind of girl who is cute and slim but generally low maintenance and in fact almost a tomboy... but she is also one of the most emotionally insecure people I have ever met.

    My husband reported that they had a good time but it was kind of tame. YA THINK?? I was just annoyed I wasn't informed this was a couples thing, I would have liked a trip to Austin to eat and drink my face off.
     
  9. Rush-O-Matic

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    Oh, yeah, totally. That's the same reason I've been to strip clubs, for the eating and the drinking. And, 8 dudes + 1 girl doesn't sound like it was a "couples thing."
     
  10. Danger Boy

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    For my friend's bachelor party, I decided to take him and all the groomsmen to Des Moines, IA to a place called The Lumber Yard. Strip clubs in Minnesota suck, and this is a really nice place. Plus it's full nude and bring your own alcohol. The whole "bring your own" thing may seem weird, but at a titty bar it's the best thing since sliced bread. It's a 6 hour drive from where I live, and we decided we weren't going to tell him where we were taking him until we got there. We just told him "were taking you out for your bachelor party, shut the fuck up and get in the car." We stopped after an hour on the road for a quick bite to eat when the phone calls started. His fiance knew we were taking him somewhere but had no idea where, and neither did he. This was really bothering her, and all kinds of retarded logic started floating around in her brain, which led her to the conclusion that we must be taking him to get a hooker. So here we are, taking our buddy on a 6 hour road trip and trying to make it a fun surprise, and she was calling him every 15 minutes begging and threatening him to make us turn the car around. At one point he told us that we need to go back home but we refused. He was going to have fun for his bachelor party and that was final.

    Once we got about an hour from Des Moines we told him where we were going. We stopped and checked into a hotel when we got to town, and he called his fiance to tell her "don't worry, I'm in Des Moines, the guys are just taking me to a strip club." This seemed to calm her down. For about an hour. She called him again, asking "Why did you guys have to go to Iowa? There are plenty of strip clubs here in Minnesota, what's different about that one? Oh God, it must be because they have sex with you there, isnt it?" and the threatening phone calls started again. To his credit, he didn't know why we decided to take him all the way down to Iowa either, as he had never been to their strip clubs. When we got to The Lumber Yard we had an awesome time. We got shit faced drunk and no one had sex with any strippers. My buddy thanked us for taking him there and we decided we should go again sometime.

    I woke up in the morning with a voice mail on my phone. It was her: "I hope it was worth it. Because of you our marriage will never happen. You did this." *click*

    Oh, for fuck's sake.

    He got phone call after phone call on the ride home. Apparently the night before, her and some friends went out drinking and came up with all kinds of ridiculous ideas as to why we went to a strip club in Des Moines. My girlfriend at the time was there, and even she was worried after hearing these women carrying on about it. We dropped my buddy off at his place and her ring was on the kitchen table with a note, which I didn't read, for obvious reasons.
    Long story short, they still got married. I was still in the wedding, along with the other groomsmen who came along on our little road trip. 7 years later they're still happily married. She did learn a good lesson from this though: If you're going to marry someone you should probably trust them first, and it doesn't pay to be a neurotic, controlling bitch.
    Her and I get along just fine now.
     
  11. Rush-O-Matic

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    Wha? Well, what's even the point?!
     
  12. JWags

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    I went to a BYOB strip club in Nashville 2 weeks ago...that had no nudity. Just bras and thongs and the occasional g-string. There were also no lapdances going on that I saw. It was weird, but at the same time there was no aggressive sales pitching, so it was kind of a relaxing atmosphere.
     
  13. Kubla Kahn

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    As the place was called THE LUMBER YARD that's what I was assuming. Maybe they just do Bachelor parties much different out there...
     
  14. Rush-O-Matic

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    That is not a strip club. Isn't that just Spring Break? Or, you know, like Friday afternoon in Panama City beach?
     
  15. wilder111

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    my brothers gf worked as the door girl at the lumber yard for a few years. she said they'd get bachelor parties rolling full kegs and bars on wheels in there. usually within a few hours they'd have to kick someone out for either touching/vomiting/sleeping.
     
  16. Crown Royal

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    I
    That's a go-go club. I have never been in a strip club in my life that wasn't full nude. Anything less I can see at the beach and not get choked out by $10-per-gallon perfume.

    Your country's strip clubs fucking SUCK.
     
  17. wexton

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    Yea, every strip club in Canada is full nude, I am also so confused when someone is like yea, went to a full nude strip club.
     
  18. CharlesJohnson

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    Everyone really should come on down to FL. Full nude, full liquor, and some of the girls get upset if you don't put your hands on their ass. Last week my friend said the girl stuck her tits in his mouth and practically jerked him off through his pants. This was just a regular lap dance. One song. The end game is to get you to spend a ton of money so their family can come over from Brazil. "Bring me your poor, your tired, your hungry..." needs to be on the doors of every strip club down here. It's the Christian thing to do.

    Focus: Friend is a groomsman in a mutual's wedding. He's trying to plan a bachelor party in July with a bunch of cheap toolbags. Apparently nobody wants to do anything that doesn't involve drinking $2 PBRs in the same rathole bars here (which is still overpriced). I don't know the guy as well, but I'd be willing to plunk down a couple bucks to see a proper party. People only get married two or three times in their lives, it is important to start a relationship on the solid foundations of shaved, greased up taints squeaking over a freshly disinfected stripper pole.

    Alt: My acquaintances do not need ceremony to accuse each other of impropriety.
     
  19. Kubla Kahn

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    The last time I went to one in Ohio it was full nude only if they didn't serve alcohol, you couldn't bring it in but could drink it in the parking lot. If the place serves alcohol it can only be topless only. Ohio, and Cincinnati have weird fucking laws in this regard.

    The "craziest" bachelor party Ive been to was for a former boss of mine. It was at his parent's place and we had hoped the best man, in charge of procuring the strippers, would come through with something crazy as he was known for his wild ways and ordering all sorts of call girls off Craigslist. Two very average strippers showed up with a big body guard. The better looking of the two was so flat chested it was almost a negative chest. She had a really nice ass but upon a lap dance it smelled like she might have not wiped well enough the last time she took a dump. Then things got weird when the best man started insinuating with the strippers they should do blow with us and really kick the party off. They were weirded out and left about 15 minutes later. The dude failed epically. That and one of my boss' friends, who was a full on drug addict, almost had a nervous breakdown when he couldn't find the Xanax he hid in my friend's room for the after party come down.


    I get filled with murderous rage just hearing about the casual infidelity that can happen at these parties. This only really involves sex acts, the normal stripper lap dance with some touching and rubbing is ok in my mind. Cheating just breaks my brain. A girl from my high school, fun girl always tailgates every game with us, ended up randomly cheating on her soon to be husband with one of my uninspiring friends a few days before she got married. Her husband never found out. Im not one to blow up their situation, I don't know or care about them enough to do anything about it. It's just weird to being around them when they're together. Never sits right with me.
     
  20. dewercs

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    I have been to 2 bachelor parties in my life, the second one was my own and I was sober at the time, I took my now brother in law and my best man and one other guy to a casino and then we went to dinner, followed by me driving their drunk asses home.

    The first bachelor party I went to was in 1995, my friend from high school was getting married to another friend from high schools cousin. Father of the bride, father of the groom and brothers of the bride were all present. They had rented out a suite in a hotel and there were about 20 guys there, as luck would have it they had hired a stripper, who showed up 1 hour late with a boom box and the guy who was her security, she started doing her little strip routine and 2 things stood out to me the first being that she had a very stinky pussy and the second was she had some fresh track marks on her arms. After her dance which left her completely naked she grabbed one of the guys and put him on the floor took out his dick and started rubbing it while drinking Jim Beam right out of the bottle. Her vaginosis continued to bother me as the smell wafted throughout the room but no one else seemed to mind. The dick rubbing only lasted a few second before she decided that is was time for her favorite game which happened to be squatting on a Jim Beam bottle then pulling it out of her stink hole that was not her ass and having members of the party drink a shot out of the bottle, the first lucky contestant was the father of the bride and after watching him do the first shot I had reached my limit of smells I would tolerate and went home.
    The stayed married for 1 year.