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When I was 15, I used to be a clown.

Discussion in 'Permanent Threads' started by Angel_1756, Nov 2, 2012.

  1. Angel_1756

    Angel_1756
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    The Big Four-Oh

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    A recent conversation stirred in me a memory from a long time ago. When I was a teenager, I had a part-time job working for a local kids entertainment company as a clown and "bouncy castle operator". I painted faces, made balloon animals, entertained hoards of beastly little children, all for what (in 1996) was damn good money to a fifteen year old - $25/hr. I only did it for a year, and I'm not sure I could make you a balloon dog today if I tried, but that easily ranks as my most embarrassing job.

    Focus: What's the most embarrassing job you've ever had? Not necessarily the worst or least paid, but the one you kind of keep to yourself and hope no one ever really finds out about. Horse semen collector? Were you the model in the "before" photo? Hemorrhoid cream test subject? Lawyer?

    (For what it's worth, my clown name was Sunshine)
     
  2. Dcc001

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    Bump.
     
  3. Crown Royal

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    Just call me Topher

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    Ass model for medical textbooks. Don't brag. Don't repent.
     
  4. Capital

    Capital
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    Assistant Manager at Abercrombie and Fitch. Lasted 5 months before I quit (because I was about to get fired). Every ridiculous detail you've probably heard about the operation of that store is true. But here are some of my favorites:

    • I was the hiring manager. When we did group interviews, I would score candidates on a form that listed 3 qualities: Work ethic, Social skills, and Appearance. Scale of 1-5. They needed EITHER a combined score of 10, with at least 3 in each category. OR a 5 in appearance (which rendered the other two scores meaningless). I hired some fucking insanely hot girls.
    • There's an 'Image Manuel' to help you with hiring. In it, there are pictures of people of different ethnicity who are attractive. Nothing else. It's to help you hire people of other races, even if you don't find anyone of that race attractive (/are racist).
    • That smell? There are literally squirt bottles full of cologne you need to spray all over the store twice an hour. I forbade my employees from using them while I was there.
    • In my store, at least, we threw away all the applications we got from people off the street. You needed to be actively recruited. (Again, based on appearance. Oh, and if anyone ever tells you "Yeah, I used to model for A&F" -- that's what all employees are called. A&F "models" all make minimum wage and fold shirts.)
    • Employees must be 18 to be hired. Just puttin' that out there.

    Not proud of that. But definitely an interesting couple of months. I still have a lot of flip-flops.


    Oh, here's an article about the crazy CEO's private jet: http://www.refinery29.com/2012/10/3...=facebook.com&utm_medium=post&utm_campaign=af
     
  5. Volo

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    I spent an entire summer shoveling shit for a travelling carnival. Good fucking god, you have not worked like a dog until you've been a carnival's bitch for 60 days. Worst part is that this particular carnival used to make it's last stop for the season in my hometown. I suffered greatly for my desire to earn slightly above minimum wage.

    All that being said, it was a good experience and I met a lot of solid people, and earned a surprising amount of cash.
     
  6. McSmallstuff

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  7. dixiebandit69

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    Selling Cutco Cutlery. That was my first job out of highschool, and the only "sale" I made was a pity purchase by my dad.
    As I was filling out the paperwork, I realized that I was never going to make it with this job, so I just let my dad keep my demonstration set of knives and quit.
     
  8. lust4life

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    I started delivering newspapers when I was 11 years old, and have had a lot of jobs between then and now, but none of them were embarrassing. Some were better than others, but I learned something in each one of them, most importantly how to deal with people in a variety of situations and environments. Jobs included:

    Concession stand worker at a drive-in theater
    Weekend sexton at the church
    Bus dispatcher at NYC's Port Authority bus terminal
    Summer intern in corporate communications at a pharmaceutical company
    Residence hall desk receptionist
    Bouncer
    Campus beer rep
    Youth counselor at an inner city non-profit

    Then I graduated college, got into the ad agency biz in NY, then magazine publishing and sales and now rehabilitation counseling.

    It was honest work and I've been earning my own money since delivering my first newspaper. Nothing embarrassing about that.
     
  9. Frank

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    Ok, I think I speak for everyone when I say you need to give us a detailed account of your time in porn.
     
  10. audreymonroe

    audreymonroe
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    The most powerful cervix... in the world...

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    The only job I ever get embarrassed about admitting to is that I worked at Blockbuster when I was in school, but the only thing I was ever really embarrassed about was the uniform and that it was a Blockbuster. That job was awesome, and if it was some cool kid independent movie rental place, I would straight up brag about it. Even now, if I could cobble together enough freelance writing work and then fill in my paycheck working at one of the two movie rental places left in the entire city, I'd be very happy.
     
  11. McSmallstuff

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    Eh...not really that interesting a story.
     
  12. mya

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    Maybe you should let us be the judge of that.

    Please humor us....
     
  13. McSmallstuff

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    Its kind of like the step sister thing. It sounds a lot more interesting than it was.
     
  14. Now Slappy

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    I don't want to speak for everyone else, but I found the step sister thing pretty interesting.

    Go on....
     
  15. Flat_Rate

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    Re: Re: When I was 15, I used to be a clown.

    Can't just dangle that out there and then not deliver
     
  16. Nom Chompsky

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    Re: Re: When I was 15, I used to be a clown.

    That's exactly the line that got him into the business.
     
  17. Juice

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    Focus: Modeled kids pajamas for JCPenny when I was around 9.

    Now lets see that porno, McSmallStuff.
     
  18. McSmallstuff

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    If you insist. The girl and I were both unemployed. And a friend of hers suggested that his ex wife made a good living being a cam girl. Well one thing leads to another and she and her best friend decide they are going to be a cam girl team. The only hitch was her friend could only do it one day a week. And my girlfriend didn't want to do it by herself. So I volunteered to team up with her a few times a week. My job was basically stunt cock. I would stick it in whatever orrifie the person paying us for a private show requested. Got off on whichever body part they told me and other than that just sit there and chill until it was sex time.

    It was kind of a weird situation at first but eventually it just became standard. We had a few regulars who would get on just to chat and throw a little money our way. Our anonymous friends were usually pretty cool. Although it was rather strange to be having a fairly normal conversation and then have it turn into "could you fuck her in the ass and cum on her tits real quick?"

    The real reason I put it up on this thread is because I'm trying to be a teacher and that is definately not something I would want future employers to know about.
     
  19. Juice

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    Wow. So did you ever have to show your face? And what does one make as a stunt cock? What was the most bizarre shit someone wanted you to do?
     
  20. Now Slappy

    Now Slappy
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    Segway into "Ask a Stunt Cock" thread...