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Whateva! Whateva! I do what I want!

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by toddamus, Mar 13, 2015.

  1. toddamus

    toddamus
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    Emotionally Jaded

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    I think most people are aware of the phrase Cartman said when he was on the Jerry Springer Show pretending to be an out of control teenager. In real life, I think we're all faced with a daily struggle of doing what we want versus doing what we perceive others want. In the work place, in relationships, hell even with friends of the same sex, the struggle between doing what you want versus doing what others want is a constant theme in life.

    Me personally, I do what I want!, however, there is a price to pay for that. Doing what you want can be seen as strong and as a leadership characteristic,on the flip side it can be seen as obstinate and annoying. There is certaintly no right answer and there is certainly no formula to make everyone happy


    Focus In your day to day life do you do as you please or do you find yourself trying to make others happy so that they're happy with you?
    Unfocus When have you done as you pleased and it backfired? Altneratively, when have you tried to make someone else happy only to find things went wrong anyway?
    Alt focus When have you done as you wanted and it worked out exactly as you hoped? When have you tried to please the group and it worked out spectacularly?
     
  2. The Village Idiot

    The Village Idiot
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    Porn Worthy, Bitches

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    I really, really like to...

    bump.
     
  3. Juice

    Juice
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    Moderately Gender Fluid

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    I dress the way I want because I have cla$$.

    [​IMG]

    I stopped trying to make people happy through my actions a long time ago. People are the stars of their own movie, so I think the individual is responsible for making themselves happy anyway, or at least being mindful of their perception of happiness.

    I work when I want, I wear what I want, and I pretty much do what I want without really fear of being judged. Its a nice existence.
     
  4. shimmered

    shimmered
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    Focus: I try to be nice to people, and to at least not bring them down. I try to avoid being unnecessarily rude. I try to avoid meanness or maliciousness, or gossip. I think of those things as being relatively people pleasing, to a point. I like to do nice things for people from time to time, if I can. Not in the name of ass kissing or anything but because the person I'm doing whatever for is someone I genuinely like.

    BUT.
    Just because I like someone doesn't mean I won't say "Ah. No." when the time comes.
    And that DOES NOT please people. At all.
    Example:
    I spent all Monday out in my yard working, missed some texts and phone calls. One of them was my former first line leader asking me if I'd come in on my day off and cover a shift for her. By the time I got the text the shift was nearly over. Tuesday morning she texted me again, and asked me if I'd cover Tuesday's shift for her.
    Now. I'm not a leader at this place. I'm not in management. I'm not in anything. I'm just a worker bee. I don't love this place, and I certainly don't feel any particular loyalty or responsibility for its success or failure.
    I do, however, feel responsibility and ownership of my family and my kids. Tuesday was the first game of MiniMe's high school baseball season. First high school baseball game EVER. Given how competitive the baseball teams are in this area, making the team was a Very Big Deal. I'm not missing that. I'm not about to miss that. It's not going to happen.

    So I'm the asshole, because she couldn't find someone else to cover. I offered her a solution, she didn't like it, and they winged it.

    I'm the asshole.

    Alt Focus - Most recently, the whole debacle back in December when (with this same workplace) I was like...dude. I'm out. I can't work like this. Things changed for a lot better. Still not great, but better.
     
  5. toytoy88

    toytoy88
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    Alone in the dark, drooling on himself

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    Focus: Right now, I do as I please because what pleases me is to be a civilized human being. I go to work, I come home, I pay my bills. Because that's what a civilized human being does.

    As opposed to:

    Unfocus For a number of years there I was a non-functional alcoholic and watched myself lose everything while I did completely as I pleased. Wake up and start drinking at 7AM? Why the fuck not? I'll take a nap around noon after the first 12 pack and finish off the other 36 beers when I wake up in a couple of hours.

    Apparently, this is what happens when I'm left to my own devices on a nice chunk of land with plenty of toys to play with. I would be out operating heavy equipment at all hours of the night, drunk as fuck, digging a hole, moving a road, taking down a tree because it smirked at me, or whatever batshit insane idea was in my head at that moment.

    Late night target practice was fairly common, as were the neighbors complaining about the noise when my musician buddies would come over and we'd do some recording. My nearest neighbor was about 1/2 a mile away.

    Huge redneck bonfires were a nightly event, even if I was the only one in attendance. Anything to keep myself busy.

    I had several people comment that even though they never saw me without a beer in my hand, I never seemed to get drunk. I didn't slur my words, I didn't stumble around, I didn't have emotional breakdowns....I was just always me. What they didn't realize is that they'd never seen me sober. That's kind of scary.

    If I were really rich, folks would use words like "Colorful" or "Eccentric" to describe me.

    So, yeah...if you've got an addictive/escapist personality, having the means to do what you want really isn't a good thing.

    So I've reeled myself in (Again) and I'm doing as I please in the framework of what is a bit more socially acceptable. Because being go to the food bank broke really, really sucks.
     
  6. bewildered

    bewildered
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    I had an attitude adjustment a few months ago. Sometimes when you aren't happy with your reality, you have to readjust your expectations.

    I've had a hard time finding a professional job that will offer me growth. Last year a spent a lot of time fixing resumes and filling out applications with no luck. We make enough money to cover all our needs and wants and I have an incredibly supportive family. But that constant job searching was wearing on me and one day I said fuckit. I need to be happy with the life I have. I love my husband and have an incredible amount of fun with him. We have money to cover what we need plus some to save. I get one life. Why stress over what you can't control anyway?

    So, I took a small break from the search. We did Mardi Gras. We went to Vegas. I go to work, work my ass off and do the best possible job that I am capable of, and don't stress about the future. I am back on the search today for the first time in months, but I am happier and not too worried about it right now. What good would it do anyway?

    Alt focus
    : I'd have to say religion. I was always an obedient rules follower growing up. I also have a touch of anxiety/neuroticism/OCD and trying to follow all the minutia of the canon made it worse. At some point in college I had a very traumatic lightbulb moment. I had to figure out if I was going to church out of fear (what will happen to my soul if I don't go?!) or because I actually believed all this stuff. Turns out, I don't believe a bit of it. It's easy to keep a neurotic rules follower who has been enrolled in Catholic schools from K-12 going to church. Now, if any of that BS made sense they'd probably have me hooked for life. Luckily for me I got out of that cult. I am a much happier, exploratory, more fulfilled person. I am so glad that I married a person who is not Catholic.
     
  7. Uziel

    Uziel
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    Average Idiot

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    20 years in the military and I did and said what I had to. Now that I'm retired, fuck it, I'm doing what I want.