What the hell is curry? How about we get a burger?

Can someone who wants to try everything under the sun be happy with someone that eats like a child?

Focus: How important is food compatibility to you?

I'm not a foodie or anything, but I like to try everything and eat a lot of stuff people consider weird like sushi, Indian food, game meat etc and have been on both sides of the spectrum with girlfriends.

My last one ate like a six year old, she wouldn't eat any type of seafood or ethnic food and when we had Chinese she would only eat the sweet and sour chicken, no sauce. She also did her very best to avoid vegetables, forget salad, she didn't even get lettuce or tomato on her burgers. It would annoy the shit out of me that she refused to even try the Mediterranean wrap place by campus, not even a BITE of the wrap, I wanted to scream.

The current GF's palate is almost identical to mine, right down to the fact that we both hate mustard and like our meat as rare as possible, it's actually kind of crazy how similar we are. The only differences off the top of my head are that she likes mayo, likes comfort food a little more than me and is more tolerant to bland food (basically I'm a little bit pickier). It's awesome, we never get in fights over what to have on special meals, I usually let her pick it all out since she usually cooks, we're almost always fine with the same restaurant and I can't remember the last time she made something without asking me and been dissapointed.

While I don't think hugely different palates is a deal breaker, it can create some tension (like the chick that won't let her husband eat certain food around her because of smell) and liking the same food is awesomely convenient... well until you're fighting over dark meat because fuck white meat.

 

Can I get the number of the picky one?

 

I have a very sensitive sense of smell, so I avoid most things with a very strong aroma since I get easily overwhelmed. But aside from that I'm fine as long as my own tastes aren't excessively criticized.

 

Like most fat men, I consider food pretty fucking important.

I don't mind if someone doesn't eat everything I eat, but there needs to be a lot of common ground or we can't regularly share meals. I'm not going to have a 6 year old's diet, or do without my favorite foods unless we're at a restaurant, because you're a fussy bitch.

 

I grew up in a family where going to a restaurant of any kind was an exception to the rule (i.e. mom wasn't home, and dad was feeling too sick to cook), ketchup was frowned upon, and food was cooked from more or less raw ingredients. My dad's side is Italian and family gatherings were always all about good food. So that's where I come from. I appreciate good food, and though I eat out more now than I ever did as a kid, I cook at home a hell of a lot more - and better - than your typical 23 year old, guy or girl. And now that I'm out of school and living in a slightly smaller city where the eating out options aren't as easy as they used to be, I cook a whole lot more. I don't consider myself a foodie or anything, eating good food is a default way of life for me, and anything less is an aberration.

My ex-girlfriend, on the other hand, didn't care where or what she was eating, as long as there was a lot of it and it was cheap (for a 100 pound Asian girl, she sure could eat). She didn't have much of a sense of smell, so I'm sure some of it came from there. But if I ever had leftovers from a family Christmas dinner, or if I had made something special, for example, I'd let her know they were there and ask if she wanted any, and she'd kind of feign some interest but never really cared to try it. But if you mentioned McDonald's, a buffet, or a shitty all-day dim sum restaurant, her eyes would light up.

It was something that annoyed me but never became a source of much tension (when you're in school, you don't really have the money to eat out at nice places or the time to cook much), but if we'd stayed together much longer than we did, it definitely would have become one. I mean, I can understand if someone doesn't necessarily appreciate really good food, but who the hell actually likes McDonald's, and prefers it to food that is entirely made by hand? I mean, other than Americans, but you know.

But I think it's not just that it's food in and of itself, it's a general indicator of someone's personality. In the same way, speaking another language doesn't really help you pick up chicks - but speaking another language is generally a sign of someone who is intelligent, curious about the world around them and has at least some exposure to a culture other than your own. And that can definitely help you meet people. Food is something you can take pleasure in, and enjoy; but do you take pleasure in the act of shoving shit down your throat and not feeling full, or enjoying something delicious? It spills over into lots of other parts of life.

 

Randomly - Are curries / sushi actually weird anywhere outside of the deep south*? In the UK, Indian Curry is a staple like bread and beer. It's pretty close to that common here. In white collar business hours sort of neighbourhoods - Sushi is way more common than burgers.


*(I'm not trying to take a shot at the South (right at this moment), I just thought Curry and Sushi had both moved out of the 'weird' and into 'Tuesday'.)

 

My boss is a super picky eater. She doesn't like cooked carrots and refuses to eat cheese on anything, even pizza. I'm in charge of ordering and picking up lunch every day, and I make fun of her every time she orders a cheese steak with no cheese.

As far as dating guys who are picky eaters, I have trouble putting up with it. Especially because I love trying new food. I will eat almost anything. The only foods I don't eat are salads that do not contain lettuce. I don't like the consistency of chicken, tuna, or any kind of noodle salad. Also, I once dropped a large serving dish of coleslaw when working for a local diner and the sound it made has kept me from eating coleslaw for the last 10 years.

 

I read the first paragraph:

I think the title needs to be changed from "When Foodies Marry Non-Foodies" to "Everyone Involved in this Article is an Asshole".

 

...and the prize for the most ignorant asshole of the day goes to...

I dated a foodie/gourmand/sommelier for a couple years. It was fantastic. I tried things I'd never heard of and loved them, learned a lot about wines and food pairings, and the spreads she would put together just for me to lay on the couch and watch football on Sundays were embarrassingly lavish and delicious. Once I realized that she was a snob about "her stuff" (food, wine, fashion) in exactly the same ways as I was about "my stuff" (music, art, design), I was open to trying everything and I honestly loved it. I would say that it changed my approach to food and drink forever.

We did have a great moment when she took me to my first serious wine tasting, and I informed the man "introducing the flight" to us that there was no way a particular red was aged in French Oak barrels, as he'd told us. She looked fucking horrified. I held my ground. "Sir, I've eaten and inhaled mounds of dust from many different types of oak in my life, and I'm sorry, but I assure you that is American White Oak."

Well, after insisting that I'm an uneducated philistine, zippy the snob boy eventually went away to get further proof from the bigger people at the vineyard and came back looking very very sheepish. We learned two things: I have a remarkably sensitive palate for a smoker, but absolutely no memory for all the names and places and facts associated with each taste and smell, and I'm an asshole.

But you guys knew that already.

 

I think I've written about this before, but compatible tastes in food is very important to me. My first boyfriend did a lot of shitty things, but the thing I remember most frequently is that I couldn't stand his limited diet, either out of the preferances of a six year old or because of his "lactose intolerance" or semi-vegetarianism. I've more or less forgiven him for the six months of stalker-esque behavior after we broke up, cheating on me, and frequently ditching me to smoke and/or sell weed, but I will NOT forgive him for putting ketchup on steak. I decided that I was not interested in the super-Boston-Irish-lad I somehow wound up with for a bit when I took him to dim sum and he was so incredibly uncomfortable with how far I had taken him out of his sandwich comfort zone. And I will not date a vegetarian, which is unfortunate because there's a high risk of the general types of guys I tend to like being one. I tried it recently, and I could barely get through the first date. We didn't even go out to eat. There was some complication on the coffee place we were at where he got real milk instead of soy milk and he started getting all whiny and all I could think was, "I fucking hate you." I just need to be with a guy who I could eat ribs with.

The same goes for the opposite end of the spectrum, when someone is SO serious about food. They suck the fun out of eating, too. I don't want any risk of lecture or someone being condescending when I'm just trying to enjoy a meal. For all of my food-columnist-worthy-eating, I also really like shitty food every now and then, and if someone's going to berate me for wanting some McDonald's fries, then I'm not going to want to be with them either.

Part of it is that I love food, and a lot of the things I like to do (especially in relationships) revolve around it, like trying new places to eat or cooking together/for him. It's frustrating having to limit that so much, especially since there aren't many things that I won't eat. But the greater factor is what Ghetto said:

I like being adventurous and spontaneous, and I want things to be fun. I like learning about and trying new things. If someone doesn't demonstrate that in something as simple as eating choices, then I assume they're going to be just as exasperating in other aspects of life that I find important in a relationship as well.

 

I went to NYU for undergrad and made a commitment my sophomore year to eat lunch somewhere new every day when I wasn't pressed for time. This lead me to find all sorts of interesting stuff, and I never ran out of places, even though I was doing this about 4 times a week. Soon after starting this, I realized I was forgetting about a ton of places so I started keeping a list. That list is one of my prized possessions and I guard it like it is the formula for coke.

More than anything else, I'm obsessed with trying new things. One thing I've noticed is that if a person isn't up for eating things they aren't used to, they are probably the same way with other things like music, movies, etc. If someone had a boring palate but liked trying new things in other realms, I probably wouldn't mind. The correlation, however, is what kills me. I simply could not date someone who is such a cultural simpleton. I would inevitably think they are stupid, boring, or both. There is also a great joy when you realize someone is a fellow foodie. I love the "have you tried..." conversations it leads to.

edit: No I will not give you my list. I'd be happy to tell you a couple of places that are on the list, but the list is mine. The only people who will ever see it are maybe my wife, if I get married, and my kids, if I have kids. They will only see it in my will when I die.
(note: this is negotiable if boobs)

 

I think there are two issues that intertwine:

1. How somebody eats.

2. How seriously they takes their dietary restrictions.


I can deal with somebody who eats differently than I do. I had a longtime girlfriend who was a vegetarian/vegan and there was basically no issue despite the fact that we had countless meals together. I made an effort to find places that had vegan options, she made an effort not to be a dick about it and understand that it wasn't always possible, and it ceased being an issue.

On the other end of the spectrum is a friend who doesn't like anything remotely spicy, and makes a big production of it every time we go out as a group. Somehow, despite having only eaten with this person 8 or so times, I've been annoyed with it dozens. Because she makes absolutely no effort to make things easy, and would much rather complain than offer suggestions or compromise.

It doesn't matter that much to me what you eat, just don't be an asshole about it. It's basically the same as religion.

 

Can we all just stop, and appreciate for one moment the fact that in the article, when Mr. MacGeraghty encountered Ms. Charles' truffle, he proclaimed, "It smells like bat-wing dust." That's...just, by god! I'm rolling laughing at that itself. [Edit: I just have to emphasize this. A 49 year old man smelled a 500 dollar white truffle and said it smells like bat-wing dust!!!! What!?]Read the whole article, it is absolutely ridiculous.

When Mr. Rynning goes to the wine drinking events, "he gives one of three designations: "good," "pretty good" or "don't like." Then he clears his palate with beer." But don't you fucking worry, "It works out well that I can be the designated driver," he says."

I'm pretty sure this is just some documentary about normal people dating autistics and hillbillies.

 

It is obviously not a major factor but there are times when I am glad that we like the same stuff and that she is willing to eat my healthy meals when I do the slowcarb diet, as I know a lot of girls would fucking moan about having beans, greens and chicken/turkey five times a week.

 

I'm not a zealot foodie, but I am a bit of a food snob. I'll eat at chain fast food places and the local Chinese restaurant when I need something quick and can't be bothered with cooking something myself, but if I'm specifically going out for dinner, you won't catch me eating at TGIF or The Olive Garden. There are WAY too many local options in every city to ever have to spend money at one of those places.

I've sadly dated quite a few girls that have no adventure in them when it comes to food. It's hard going out to a restaurant which serves amazingly diverse and delicious food and the person you take just not caring about the meal you just had or ordering the absolute safest thing on the menu (usually some variation of a chicken/vegetable dish).
There is nothing worse than spending $100+ per person on a perfectly crafted meal/wine pairing and having the person you are sharing time with just shrug and not understand how delicious of a meal you just had.

As for being adventurous and trying new things, there are only three things I have tried so far that I will never eat again. Canned tuna (sushi grade tuna is delicious), those little green peas you sometimes wrongly find in fried rice, and olives. Everything else is game on.

 

As part of CrossFit, they really push the Paleo diet. I figured with the New Year I would give it a go. This shit is hard, the giving up of the food hasn't been the hardest part, it has been the resulting lack of energy that is the real bitch.

It has taken some getting used to, giving up all grains and dairy has been really hard. I haven't been 100% strict with the dairy aspect of it. Otherwise, this diet forces you to cut out refined carbs, legumes, and starches; this hasn't been difficult because I cut out most of the refined cards and don't eat starches anyway.

 

The Ex was a nightmare to eat with; unless it fit within her narrowly defined window of meals:
1) It was a meal her parents regularly cooked during her childhood
or
2) It had exactly three items; a meat, a vegetable, and a starch. Even then, the selection was limited to basic cuts of beef or pork, chicken, and fish that didn't taste "fishy".

The Current is much more pleasant to deal with, especially since she is sympathetic to me trying to adopt a ketogenic diet. One of her latest gems

Over NYE I made prime rib, and she said that the pictures I texted her of it cooking could very easily be considered foreplay.

Also, she takes her beer seriously: being a cicerone could easily be in her future.

 

Good timing for this topic, since the soon-to-be-ex-wife and I felt the same about food 95% of the time and I have no idea what I'll do now.

I've been eating paleo for more than two years. I'm not picky because of my taste, I'm picky because I choose not to eat certain foods, but the result is the same. What I eat right now is miles away from most people's diets. I don't eat grains (except maybe some white rice once in a while), I won't eat anything with soy, high-fructose corn syrup or processed vegetable oil (canola, sunflower, corn, ...) and the only dairy I eat is butter or heavy cream. I make 98% of what I eat myself and I'm getting pretty good at cooking, so I don't bother going to restaurants anymore (most of the time I feel like I could have made the same at home with better ingredients for cheaper anyway). Still, I'm pretty open to try new stuff and regularly taste new things (most recent was a homemade veal bone broth with brain and sweetbreads soup) and I incorporate elements from many styles of cuisine.

There's no way I'm going back to not eating paleo, the health improvements I've seen make my life so much easier, but it's definitely something that's going to be a big issue in future relationships. More than that, I don't see myself feeding my kids differently either. I used to get new cavities every time I went to the dentist and it all stopped, my skin is clearer, my asthma is gone, my allergies are gone, I was borderline IBS (irritable bowel syndrome) and it's gone, and growing up without all of these would have made my life so much easier. There's no way I'll feed my kids a diet that will not allow them to be healthy and thriving and I'll do all I can so they don't have to live through the same health problems I had.

It helps that I cook with fresh ingredients and lots of meat and fat because it makes everything taste awesome, but I'm sure it's going to be very difficult to find a girl who agrees with my nutritional values.

 

At least where I am most people either don't eat it or only eat it in the right setting. Some of my friends will happily go to a hibachi place and eat some sushi there, but would never even think about picking it up at the grocery store. Same goes with Indian and Thai food, they'll go to a restaurant once or twice a year and usually because I invite them, but none of them will make it themselves and rotate it into their normal diet.

 

I love to cook, I will try just about anything. Food is pretty damn important. Mr. P is awesome because he appreciates and loves everything I cook and he is adventurous as well.

My ex hated mushrooms, chicken and "strange" pairings (I baked a pork shoulder in ginger and marmalade once, he wouldn't try it). I hated cooking because I would get interrogated as to whether it contained mushrooms or not, like he may die if he consumed one. He preferred McDonalds to a home-cooked meal.

What an idiot.