What do you wish you knew at 20 that you know now?

I'm 21, about to graduate school debt free and into a full-time job making between 30 and 40k per year. However I have landed a solid job in my dream field, and feel that gives me a leg up on most people. What advice do you guys have for someone in my situation, financial, social, relationships what have you? What do you wish you knew at 20 that you know at 30 specifically. Seriously, most of the useful stuff in my life has come from the RMMB so I'm throwing this out there.

 

This is what I was going for and I'll be honest, aside from having good mentors, a lot of my "success" comes from seeing mistakes people make/have made, and not doing them. So here I am, ready to learn from the rest of you.

 

Dont move cross country for a boyfriend/girlfriend without a solid backup plan.

 

If I could go back and talk to my 20 year old self, the only advice I would give is to get my ass back in school. Other then that I'd tell myself to continue on having fun and doing stupid shit only because "It needs doing."

You're only 20, and quite honestly your life hasn't even begun. There are plenty of years ahead of you to worry about adult shit. Go out, be irresponsible, and have fun while you can.

I would never be able to forgive myself if I hadn't done all the stupid crap I did in my 20's. Sure I made some really dumb decisions, but in the end I had more fun then most folks.

Notice I keep using the word 'Fun'? If you get in the mindset of furthering your career and buying bigger and bigger houses, you'll end up bitter with an ulcer the size of a Frisbee and bills that will keep you awake at night. I fell into that trap at one point. There's nothing like realizing that you're over $1M in debt to give you a rude awakening (If you were able to fall asleep in the first place.)

Some people can deal with that crap, but I couldn't. If you can, more power to you. But did you ever notice that the people that deal with those things daily have completely lost their ability to have fun? It becomes the entire focus of their life to retain their belongings and accumulate more like it was some twisted real life version of Monopoly?

In the end you have to figure out for yourself which is the best path for you. We're all wired differently. Personally, I've always been more about having fun then trying to impress others with what I have. Others can always enjoy the fun I create, but personal belongings can't really be shared...it just pisses people off and makes them jealous.

/end old man rant

 

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Talk about timely. This piece appeared on ESPN.com today written by former MLB player Doug Glanville about the hurdles Jason Heyward may have to overcome this season.

It gives a pretty good glimpse of the different options we all face at that age and it's pretty damn well written. Basically it gives sound advice in not letting yourself getting overwhelmed by all the new experiences you're about to encounter.

Read the whole thing here: <a class="postlink" href="http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/columns/story?id=5056507" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/columns/story?id=5056507</a>

 

I've said it before in threads of a similar ilk, but it bears repeating: save. I'm not saying to pinch every penny, but put a certain % of your income away, in addition to your 401k contributions. What is your "dream job" today may be tomorrow's nightmare. Financial independence provides freedom and flexibility. Adjust your savings contributions accordingly each time you get a pay increase and bonus money.

Use cash and avoid credit cards. It's very easy to fall into the hole that's difficult and painful to climb out of. When you use cash to make a purchase, you'll think about the purchase more seriously than if you use your card. Something about the actual act of parting with real money versus the unemotional swipe of a card.

As for relationships, I got married at 25 and knew I had met the right one for me. The divorce rate tells me a lot of other people aren't as fortunate. Trust your heart, because you'll be giving it to that person.

Keep an open mind in all things. Remaining teachable is the acquisition of wisdom. Unless you're a teenager and you know everything already.

Lastly, volunteer. By helping others, we help ourselves. Find something you're passionate about and make a contribution to society.

 

Also, pay your bills on time and know what is in your credit report. Tucker said repeatedly that this wasn't necessary that having bad credit was fine. I could not disagree more.

My last few months of college I had no money, my credit cards were over the limit and I couldn't pay them. Every month I had over limit fees and late fees tacked on. It destroyed my Credit Rating. After I got a job I never missed a payment on anything again and now my report is perfectly clean. It takes 7 years for that shit to come off and it is important.

 

On top of the saving which I second wholeheartedly.

If you're coming out of college and you're doing that well...get your own place. No roommates. I don't care if they've been your best friends in college or the place is the coolest place. It'll be worth it.

You'll learn quite a bit about yourself, "the real value of money", maybe learn how to cook and/or how to fix little shit. Your dating life will not suffer from your roommates bursting in during a date with inflatable penises (long story), and besides women's interest perk up when you say "I have my own place."

I can't think of a better piece of general advice from what you've given unless you've been on your own for awhile, but most of the people have one or more roommates in college and most of their 20s anyway.

And if you get lonely, get a roommate a year later. But just give yourself 1 year.

 

I think it's more to encourage people to spend money to travel, broaden their scope etc rather than buy a big screen or a new motorcycle.

But I agree. And am glad I'm not $12 million upside down.

 

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You will not be the same person at 20 that you are at 25, or even 30.

Perspective is everything. Learn from the mistakes of others.

I find myself at 32, damn near the same place that I was at 24. In a new city, working for the same company, only this time I am alone, and not with a woman that wasn't right for me. Which brings me to my next point.

Learn from your relationships. Whether they be romantic, friend type, or familial. Take the best of what you can from each experience, and apply it to your own life. Try as hard as you can you discard the rest. Continually learn something. (That was advice was given to me from a Drill Sergeant in 1996, an is just as applicable today as it was then).

Relax. What was a crisis at 20, will seem a minor inconvenience at 30.

Life is meant to be lived, it's not a checklist.

(I know that this all seems like a cliche, but it's that way for a reason)

 

I imagine this is geared away from professional aspirations.

I'm a very motivated individual and I've set goals that I've achieved only through having a gameplan. I'd be hard pressed to find any successful individuals that didn't have a plan early on in how they'd achieve their goals in life.

 

Absofuckinglutely.

 

Steve Jobs. He dropped out of college because he didn't know what the fuck he was doing with his life, and wandered for years. Dropping in on random classes for the hell of it. At one point, he was turning in soda cans for cash, sleeping on couches, and getting his meals at the local Hare Krishna temple. Then he took off for India for months for spiritual enlightenment.

I heard he turned out OK.

 

Listen to your parents. You may not agree with them, you may not follow their advice, but listen to them. They know you better than you think they do and they want what is best for you.

Ditto on the keep your credit clean, don't blow your money on over the top material things. You are not entitled to all of the things that your parents have at the age 21. They worked hard for it, you should expect to as well. You don't NEED all the latest and greatest things.

Learn to develop an open mind. Just because somebody has differing views, opinions, taste, background, ways of doing things, etc, doesn't make them wrong, just different. Appreciate it and learn from it. How boring would it be if we were all the same?

You know that person you think you can't live without, you are likely to have quite a few of them. So don't take it so seriously. Actually learn not to take yourself so seriously too. Things are rarely as great or as bad as you think they are at that age.

And last, but not least, enjoy it. You will soon enough be saddled down with obligations, so try to rush things.

 

Money: If the cost of servicing a mortgage is comparable to rent, buy a house/unit. Not only is it an excellent platform for enforced saving but it will give you enormous personal satisfaction. Also nothing teaches you how to be handy with the tools like practice. Women like men who can fix things.

Relationships: Are supposed to be FUN, I’ve known so many people who have to struggle through every day to simply tolerate their partner. “It’s not fun anymore” IS a perfectly good reason to walk.

Toys: If you want it and can afford it, buy it.

Friends: Old friends become more valuable as you pass 30, it’s nice to have a beer with someone who knew you in your teens. However don’t be scared to cut a friend loose if they are a constant drain. If they get their shit together you can always catch up down the track. If they aren’t fun to be around, don’t be around them.