I stumbled on this thread from last year on Reddit recently: https://www.reddit.com/r/sex/comments/3a8qzr/question_what_do_you_like_most_about_sex/ For some reason, I find this question and the subsequent answers fascinating. Obviously there's whatever you like physically, but that's not what this is asking. I think it's trying to ask why do you like it. Focus: What is it, apart from getting off, that you like the most about sex? Alt focus: What's your least favourite part about it? Who knows if this has legs or not...it's just an interesting question.
Focus: I love the connection of it. I know that people love to make fun of actually having emotions like a human being, but yeah, it's this intimate thing that's amazing to experience. Even if the sex itself is raw and primal, there is a connection there that is awesome to experience. Alt-Focus: The hangups around sex suck. I have them too. The insecurity and fear and worry and judgment and cultural baggage combine to form a Voltron of dysfunction when it comes to people hooking up. We are very bad at saying what we want, being kind in how we communicate, and being ok with what we like and it really causes our society endless problems.
When his jizz leaks out of me onto the sheets and it's suddenly *my* responsibility to jump up and do the laundry.
Focus: That I can still survive it. Alt focus: That there are certain sexual acts that, unless I one day decide to break down and pay for it, I will never experience again.
Yeah, but he gets to keep letting her down over and over, instead of just getting his texts / calls ignored. A gentlemen knows to reach under her ass, drag her to the middle of the bed during the vinegar strokes, so the puddle is in the middle. Not only is this better for sleeping, but prevents unnecessary cuddling.
Focus: When I was younger, I liked the self affirmation. I figured 'hey, I can't be all bad, she let me touch her fun bits.' As I got older, there were several things I like about it. I like the way the rest of the world fades away, and you're just focused on the now. I love the feeling after I know I've gotten a girl off, and I just think 'Yup.' Probably, my favorite thing about it is the sense of peace and completeness afterwards. I never feel so self assured and relaxed in my life than after having some really good sex.
Focus: All of it. The before, the during, the after. It's fun and I like seeing el husband enjoy it. Alt: The messed-up hair and face. My face is flushed for a solid hour afterwards. It doesn't really matter, but I feel self-conscious if I had morning sex. My mom totally caught me once. She took one look at me and automatically knew about the pre-visit festivities. I don't love having sex written all over my face.
Focus: 1. Not to get too graphic here but, once you're finished the pussy juice that is left over on you penis'n'balls evaporates and causes that cooling sensation like sweat does, but on your penis'n'balls. There is only one thing to do at a time like this: Spoiler 2. Right at the beginning if you just started going at it with little or no foreplay. Sticking it in, there is a slight resistance that feels different than the rest of the time once she gets warmed up and going. I love that feeling. Alt focus: Getting sex in the first place.
Focus: If we're not just talking physical aspects then 1. I like the power dynamics of sex and playing around with that. For example, how a blowjob can make you feel very submissive or very powerful with just a slight change in attitude. 2. I like the whole process of figuring out what people like and why, whether it's from talking about it or as you're actually having sex, and then using that to figure out how best to bang each other. It's the most satisfying when they never tell me outright and I just, from learning about who they are as a person, can guess how that would translate to what they'd like sexually, try it out, and be able to tell that I was right. 3. I like those moments where you're totally in sync and there's this wordless communication and understanding of one another. You just somehow know exactly what the other person wants or how they're feeling. Alt-Focus: I don't like the vulnerability. Sometimes that's what I like best about sex, feeling comfortable and trusting enough to be vulnerable with that person physically, emotionally, and mentally. But it's still the scariest part about it for me. I have very little faith that any person at least sometimes would take that vulnerability and do something shitty with it (both when it comes to sex and when it comes to relationships) so it's always the biggest hurdle for me and, to be honest, always in the back of my mind even after generally letting that guard down with a new person.
Hey you clowns, this is a serious thread. Don't make me post and get all Durbanite up in this piece. You've been warned.
Wow, I'm pretty sure ninety percent of you fuckers haven't actually had sex. I love when a woman pees and she lets me taste it.
FOCUS: When she quietly takes the money from the night-stand and leaves the motel room without talking to me. (Rimshot) Seriously though, I like the physical/emotional connection WHEN I like the woman. I've hooked up with my share of one-night-stands and friends with benefits in my 20's, and looking back, I didn't like most of them. Yeah, I got my dick wet, and it was definitely fun at the time, but there are only 3 or 4 of them that I still think about to this day. It's not even really about the sex when you bond with a person on that level. Alt. Focus: Wondering if she really was on the pill or not. Really. I don't trust women with birth-control. If I'm dating a woman who says that she'd like a baby "some day," I dump her. Those are the kind of women who "forget" to take their birth control pills and poke holes in condoms (not like I ever use condoms, but you get what I'm saying.).
My favourite part is dominating a girl who wants to be dominated, in an affectionate way, giving the good hurt, but never pain. Following Audrey's third point, my absolute favourite thing is when the girl has her eyes closed and is off in her own world, not saying a word but making noises, and I get to watch and pay attention to what is clearly working, do that until she can't take it anymore (and maybe one more time after that), then switch up, find something else that works, and repeat. I prefer the power dynamic to be one way, but never selfishly, meaning that just because I'm 'in control', it's almost never only me receiving pleasure. It's an attitude thing, like even though I'm going down on her, I'm still the dom -- I go down when I want, for as long as I want, and she just has to take it. There's also nothing better than the post-orgasm bliss after a long session in different positions all over the room. I've joked about how sometimes I'll get stuck in a stare at a body part, and it's the closest I get to enlightenment, since I'm literally having no thoughts. The after fuck collapse is a step closer, since I could stare at anything and it would have no effect, because I'm just a bag of good feeling chemicals and couldn't speak words if someone paid me. My least favouirte part, which thankfully hasn't happened much, is when the girl is concerned about me and how I feel (outside of blow-job related, 'Does this feel good?' type stuff), instead of relaxing and doing whatever she has to mentally and physically to get herself off. It's like: are you naked and allowing me inside you? Done. From that point on the only challenge is for me not to cum. I had an ex who just could not get over this. She'd look at my expression a lot and always tried to think of dirty things to say and do that she thought I would like, as if I needed help getting off. What was worse is she even had a tough time getting off when she masturbated alone, so sex orgasms were rare, even though I can honestly say it wasn't because of a lack of communication/effort on my part. Also, superaids. God that's annoying.
Does anyone else feel totally DISconnected during sex? Like, yes, you're comfortable with your partner and getting off isn't a big issue, but you're also completely caught up on your own head? It seems like the biggest plus people rave about is the thing that's noticeably absent whenever I'm with someone lately. Like even when the sex is good, it's very separate/isolating. I suppose ^ that would be my biggest complaint/dislike.