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What do you choose, rookie?

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by downndirty, Sep 17, 2012.

  1. downndirty

    downndirty
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    [​IMG]

    Spoilered for size.

    Focus: Given the above situation, what would you choose?

    How would you entertain yourself in solitary for a number of years?
     
  2. Nom Chompsky

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    Why the hell not?

    This thread brought to you by Private Messaging. Private Messaging: For When You Just Want to Show One Person Your Dick.
     
  3. gamecocks

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    I'm taking the weed, bar, model, fridge and oven, garden, books, tv, computer, modem, and the magical plate of food.

    Basically in a house at that point. The tv, computer, and books should be more than enough entertainment. I can exercise pretty well with 200 yards to mess with. The fridge with food is better than delivery seeing as actually cooking the food will at least break up the day. Gotta have the plate of food as 100 bucks a month for 2 people is stretching it. Weed and bar because of course. The model is opinionated so discussions will happen often (and its not like it'd be bad if we ended up banging).
     
  4. Dude

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    Garden, Opinionated Girl, Magic Food Plate, Books, Galaxy Phone, Pen & Paper, Puppy, Hot Water, TV, Movies.

    I feel like 10 things is a lot here, didn't really have to make any major sacrifices. I would opt out of the pool boy and just take care of the pool and garden myself. Between being able to argue about things with the smoking hot blonde and playing with the puppy, I wouldn't feel lonely. Galaxy phone to keep track of current events. Magic food plate over the fridge combo because even with a fridge, if things are only delivered once a month stuff is going to go bad.

    If it was cut down to 5: Garden, Girl, Food Plate, Galaxy Phone, Puppy.
     
  5. Parker

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    FINALLY! YES! Let me a pull a Chater and say "I'll be back later with an answer."

    Also, I think everyone should break down why they picked the items, line by line. That'd be entertaining.
     
  6. Misanthropic

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    The Water heating Unit, TV, books, cell phone, pool, Fridge and oven combo, home bar, consoles, games, and the Japanese school girl.

    This would essentially be like being locked in my own house for 10 years. Minus the Japanese schoolgirl. The wife hasn't let me bring one of those home yet.
     
  7. Noahh

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    Computer, water heater, internet, video games, books, movies, bench press, weed, white girl, and 2 plates of food.

    This is basically my life right now, so if I could get out of having to get a job for 10 years, giddy up.
     
  8. JWags

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    Ive seen variations on this, including one where you have a certain number of points and each one has a point alotment. Given this one, I'd go:

    Yard
    Puppy
    Phone
    Internet
    TV
    Computer
    2 dishes/day
    Booze
    Hot Water
    Sasha Grey

    I initially went towards the weight bench or punching bag, but then realized that with the internet and a computer, and the yard, I could create plenty of effective workouts without them. Couple that with a phone to keep contact with people, TV for news and entertainment, computer/internet for games/news/entertainment/everything, and a puppy (which by the end of 10 years will be basically trained into an amazing companion/guard dog/trick machine and you have all the entertainment you could want. I'm not a big smoker, so booze would be plenty. 1 great meal a day is better than 3 mediocre ones cause $100/month isnt shit.

    Then it came down to my companion so I didn't go crazy. The 22 year old is great in theory, but then I also thought about all the opinionated 22 year olds I know/have known who think they know everything. Plus she's kind of feminist so there is the chance that she would be prude/sexually unadventurous cause she doesn't want to be objectified. So I went with Sasha cause though she thinks she's smarter than she is, she's not a complete dumbass and god knows she would be much freakier.

    Can I actually trade out the hot water for a vaginal rejuvenation for Sasha? Cause then we'd be golden.
     
  9. The Village Idiot

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    Porn Worthy, Bitches

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    I am going to approach this with my highly analytical mind.

    1) TV. Seriously, I'll need to fill the hours somehow.
    2) Yard/Pool. Definitely need this to break up the tedium, plus for exercise purposes.
    3) Puppy. I've already got a yard, why not?
    4) Computer. I'm going to be doing a lot of writing.
    5) Weed. I've only smoked a couple times in my life, but I think this is the way to go. I don't want to hallucinate/trip out, have unbridled energy, nor a lot focus. I'm not in college, I'm in fucking jail.
    6) Three consoles. Again, good time waster. Plus, I might finally get good enough to bitch slap some teens around in the latest Call of Duty.
    7) Video games.
    8) Fridge.
    9) Bar.
    10) Asian woman. Not the schoolgirl. Yeah, it'll be tough going initially, but the rest of the female choices are good for small blocs of time. The model? Yeah, that 'slightly feminist' routine isn't going to stay 'slight' after living with me, and about three years in, I'll be looking to trade the games for the gun. The schoolgirl? Yeah, could be fun, but once she learns English (no fucking way I'm learning Japanese) she could be a complete nutbag. Not rolling those dice for 10 years. Tyra? Annoying. Sascha - more annoying. And here's the kicker. No matter how hot a chick is, without anything more, you're going to get tired of fucking her. Some of the best women I've had in bed were average looking. The hottest girl I ever dated? Complete shit in bed. I'm not saying that all hot chicks are bad in bed, what I'm saying is given that I know I will tire of looks alone, I want a chick that is good in bed. 10 years people. 10 very long fucking years. So the fucking better be good. Plus the old asian chick may die in year 9 and I'll replace her with the Japanese Schoolgirl.
     
  10. VanillaGorilla

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    Yard- They say garden. I hope they mean garden in the 'merican sense where I can grow stuff. Not in the British sense, where it sucks.
    Fridge and Oven- Again, I hope the whole garden thing works.
    Books
    Computer
    Internet
    TV
    Art
    Girlfriend- I can tough out five years of total crazy.
    Guns- If it gets too bad, hey, it's been a good run.
    Dog- Dogs help pass the time
     
  11. zzr

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    My list:
    Water heater
    Garden
    Fridge
    Books
    Daily plate of food
    Movies
    Nikola Tesla
    Asian lady
    Computer
    Modem

    Some of you are missing an important point here: This is for ten years. The only woman who is going to be tolerable for that amount of time is the Asian lady, plus it clearly states she's amazing in bed, and you're not going to knock her up. You're taking a big chance on the others. And Tesla? Dude was a fucking genius among geniuses. Ten years gives me enough time to understand most of what he did, and since he was basically celibate he'll leave my Asian lady alone.

    [Edit: VI beat me to it with the Asian lady]
     
  12. kuhjäger

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    Do they remove the dead bodies?
     
  13. mad5427

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    Computer, Modem, Phone, Books, Water Heater, Yard, Fridge/Food, Magical Plate, Barbell and Opinionated Girl. Might swap something for the booze. Not sure about that. Maybe the barbell if the yard and body weight exercises could be enough to stay healthy. Fill empty milk jugs with dirt, etc. to get some weights to lift, etc. With 10 years, you'd get creative and you'd probably just work beyond the usefulness of the barbell. The booze could be nice every now and then.

    Computer and modem will get you pretty much all digital entertainment, movies, tv, games, etc. that you'd need even with the monthly 3GB limit, you'd figure out how to ration, ie. get something one month and something different the next. Small screen, but I can manage. The yard, water heater fridge/oven/food and magical plate will make living nicer. Add the girl who, as long as you are compatible, will be a stimulating companion both physically and mentally. The phone will allow you regular contact with the outside world to keep from going insane leaving the computer to be used more for entertainment downloads. Books are a bonus to all of it.

    100 a month for food for two would be tough but the magical plate allows you to have an insane dinner each every night. Breakfast and lunch need to be light but it's doable. Some days have a great breakfast, others lunch, others dinner.

    10 years of that wouldn't be that bad actually. It pretty much has many nice things of life minus working, traffic, dealing with idiots outside. Hell, you get everything delivered to you. Only drawback is not being able to go beyond the cell and yard. Ok, so in 10 years, you could use the books and tech to become brilliant at whatever you want and have a decent life in the meantime. You emerge healthy, educated and relaxed ready to take on the world.
     
  14. Paperbag

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    Water heater, yard, puppy, subway, computer, internet, console, games, tv, books

    I’m glad I’m not the only princess that needed hot water. I left out Tyra Banks because of the age difference and my doubts that she would want to eat subway everyday. The computer/internet combo will provide access to email and news updates so that I won’t be completely out of touch upon release. I needed the console/game combo because I’m a nerd like that and can kill a lot of time playing online.
     
  15. Kubla Kahn

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    Off the bat the first six.

    TV
    PC
    Water Heater
    Big 3 consoles
    Internet
    Games

    This alone would keep the status quo of my normal life now. I have a cell phone but hardly use it other than the few text I use when planning my weekends, which would be mute. Honestly Ive never had a data plan so I don't know what the plus or minus would be of only having 3 gigs would be, I seriously just don't know how it works. Would it be eaten up by daily porno consumption pretty fast? Is it just 3 gigs that you download of movie/music/porn? Streaming?


    MDMA/LSD
    Sasha Grey
    2 lbs of quality food a day
    Garden w/ pool

    Im not a huge fan of miss Grey's work and the persona she puts on for the public is mind numbingly dumb. But she is insanely sexually adventurous and from what I heard on the Adam Carolla podcast a few weeks ago, pretty funny. Plus if she gets annoying she seems to enjoy the hate fuck thing since Ive never seen a porno she's in where it didn't look like anything but hate fucking. If that isn't enough Ill just try dosing her enough that she cracks mentally. I think two pounds of quality food served a day would be good, always just eat the left overs. Garden for getting away from Sasha.
     
  16. toytoy88

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    The fucking desert. I hate the fucking desert.
    The Booze. My brain works better when alcohol is coursing through my veins.

    The gun. To wave around if the scientists get any bright ideas about stealing my booze.

    The 60 year old woman. I'm going to end up making a mess and someone (Not me) is going to have to clean that shit up. I have the gun, I make the rules. Besides that I can offer her as a prize to the scientist who invents me some more bullets. To defend my booze.

    The porn. To keep the scientists properly motivated about making me more bullets. To defend my booze.

    The puppy. It will grow into a German Shepard...ie..watchdog for my booze.

    Hot water.

    Subway sandwiches. When I get tired of them, I can feed them to my dog who will love me even more and defend my booze even more fiercly, after all, all the scientist can offer him is gruel.

    Computer.

    Modem.

    Mozart. We can drink and jam out.
     
  17. Frank

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    1.) Booze: Because what else am I going to to do at night?

    2.) MDMA and LSD: Because what else am I going to to do during the day?

    3.) Yard: If I'm going to trip balls I'm going to need some open space to enjoy it, plus gardening can help pass the time.

    4.) Puppy: I'll need company and I love German shepards as it is, and seriously there isn't a single person I'd like to be trapped with for ten years besides the GF and watching her go insane half way through would pretty much nullify any good (unless I can have her come in after the first 5 years).

    5.) $100/ month of groceries: I think the 2 plates a day of whatever you want is the better deal from a pleasure standpoint, but the $100/ month of groceries would make me learn to cook and better grocery shop on a budget, plus pass more time.

    The rest are boring.

    6.) Books

    7.) TV

    8.) Big three consoles

    9.) Games

    10.) Modem
     
  18. R_Flagg

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    1.) I'll take the 'any person of my choice who will develop schizophrenia in ten years'; with my ex fiancee as my choice. She's beautiful, amazing in bed, and slightly touched in the head as it is; so being incurably insane wouldn't be that big a deal.

    2.) The home bar; stocked with Bud Light, Corona, Ying Ling, Heinken, and PBR. 15 bottles each of white and red wine, and a mix of schnapps, rum, vodka, bourbon, and rock-and-rye for the spirits.

    3.) The three orders of Pizza Hutt a day. I wouldn't order it every day, but the option would be nice.

    4.) Internet modem with broadband to connect with the outside world.

    5.) The $2000 computer and monitor, the modem is useless without it.

    6.) Barbell and bench for exercise.

    7.) Water heating unit, I despise cold showers.

    8.) The 30 books; a decent mix of fantasy, thriller, and non-fiction.

    9.) Japanese school girl for a little variety.

    10.) Zzyz Brah. Sometimes I like to watch.
     
  19. CharlesJohnson

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    TV and Computer with modem - obvious choices. I need to stay connected and I needs my South Park and Family Guy fix.

    30 books - All that time to read. You could read some shit, man. Time it right, you won't ever read the same thing twice.

    Garden - How the fuck is this maximum security again? Whatever.

    2 meals of my choice a day - Yeah, I'd get creative. 4 pounds of vittles a day is plenty.

    Liquor cabinet - 10 years of sitting by the pool, reading, drinking whiskeys? Come the fuck on. Better question is what about mixers? Daddy needs his milk and seltzer and limes. I'd kill their monthly budget in the Chateaux Petrus and Margeaux I'd invariably request. Joke is on them. I'd drop my job in a heartbeat for this. But, how do I go through 5 kegs a month without company?

    Sasha Grey - Everyone needs desert. Anal desert.

    Japanese School Girl - I'd have a blast telling her jokes she would never understand and watching her fist Sasha Grey by the pool. This whole thing is starting to sound like my ideal life. Never be bothered again, food, floozies, and booze on command.

    Putin - Because Putin. I kind of want 10 Putins. Forget the rest. Can you imagine the shit that would happen? He'd blow a special whistle carved from a Czar's bones and an army of bears would spring us from the clink. This is how the New World Order begins.

    This whole scenario needs better catches. Say, if you choose the booze a 600 pound gorilla rapes you for a solid hour. Or if you choose Sasha Grey you get 60 year old Sasha Grey with a persistent case of gonorrhea. You can get whatever meals you want, but the catch is the scientists drop in Rip Taylor high out of his mind and naked with enough confetti to last him the whole week.

    The thought occurred to me to assemble all of those ridiculous minds together for 10 years. Then I realized a 10 year drunken pool orgy is way more fun. No way those people get a long with each other. Then feeding them? F that. Once Putin kills everyone it will stink, and I'm not going to go down in history as the guy that ate Tesla's corpse because it wouldn't fit down the toilet drain like a dead goldfish.
     
  20. Juice

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    10 things? Lame.

    Expert Mode:

    1) The Garden. 400 sq feet will go a long way if Im there for 10 years?

    2) TV. Is this even debatable? 100 Channels of my choice? Done.

    3) Books. Readin' nigga.

    4) 2 plates full of food / day. I can make this go a long way. Some days it will be thanks giving dinner. Other days it will be just french fries or pizza. Come to think of it, any dish I want would include any of the other food choices.

    5) Sasha Grey. I'm going to fuck her until she withers away into the wind.

    God Mode:

    1) Garden

    2) Fridge full of food

    3) Sasha Grey

    Insane Mode:

    1) Sasha Grey