Weekend Random Drunk Thread- Halloween 2009 Edition!

It depends. Do you mean you were watching it when you did the fingering or a part of the movie brings back the memory of the first fingering?

" There's something sweet
And almost kind
But he was mean and he was coarse and unrefined
And now he's dear
And so I'm sure
I wonder why I didn't see it there before"

 

I would say "yes". But I'm a youngin and remember seeing this movie in the theaters as a child. I also have never fingered a girl, so maybe I'm missing out on the feeling because of that.

 

I'll have to take your word for it. I don't have any interest in pussy, but since I enjoy being fingered, I would hope men (and lesbians) enjoy doing it.

 

I am literally laughing my ass off (I blame the beer). "Finger" is a great term, as is "fist". The terms are so specific that there can be no confusion of their meaning.

I am being beckoned for Rock Band, so I must answer the call. I shall return once the game is done and I'm officially shitfaced!

 

to think of fingering in and of itself is lame and cracked, for fingering is recon. same with the tongue.

 

Speaking of fingering, I just got my girl off right before she passed out, leaving me to fend for my own. Worst holloween ever? Not even close.

 

You have one of the best avatars ever made.

And don't you worry, Blue Dog - I fingered the fuck out of that XBox.

And breakylegg, ain't nothing wrong with recon.

 

If you pass out candy to kids, you might want to do it from a house. I learned that. You can't just be out there in the middle of the street with a mask on passing out chocolates.

Oh, and you might want to wear pants.

Maybe I made that last part up.

Maybe.

 

I spent the last 4 hours at the worst bar in town. The place is basically a sea of humanity every time I go there.

After drinking my fair share, I drove a few friends back to my place and we planned to head our separate ways.

Shortly thereafter, I was notified that I had to play taxi driver for another group of friends. Not two minutes after picking them up, the girl in the back seat motions me to pull over so she can puke outside my car. I appreciated the gesture, but the five minutes she spent puking was a bit much.

I'm finally back home, and now completely sober. I think I'll go eat an apple.

 

You clearly need to take at least 10 shots. Or drink 5 martinis.

 

I loaned a friend a condom during the party tonight, and found said condom (used) in the bathroom later on in the evening. At least someone had fun tonight.

 

So I went out as a hot cop tonight. Complete success hooked up with this cutie and had a great time whoopee!

And anyone who stops at fingering and doesn't just shove the whole arm in is a pussy.

 

How the blue fuck do you "Loan" a condom? Did you tell him it was only a loan and you expected it back? Was the jism the interest?

That's just fucking sick.

Fuck the time change. I woke up at 5:40 AM and started drinking beer. I'm still pissed off about the fucking house and now I'm also pissed off about the archaic alcohol laws in Mississippi. It's 6:41 AM, I have 6 beers left and I can't buy more beer for another 6 hours and 19 minutes. This will never do.

Does anyone want to buy 130 acres and 2 houses in Mississippi? I'm thinking of buying a sailboat and becoming a pirate. I already have a parrot, so I'm halfway there. I'll forgo the peg leg and eye patch, but I really want a fucking cannon. Or twenty. I imagine a broadside of 20 14lb lead balls hitting the side of your boat would put the fear of God in most recreational boaters or drug runners.

Screw it, I'm not going to become a dashing pirate and I know it. I'll do the next best thing. It's now almost 7AM and I think my neighbors need to be woke up. Time to grab the 30-30 and go shoot stumps and pretend said stumps are my bitching, whining family members who are complaining at me that the 5 year old car I'm providing for them isn't running.

If I get really lucky I may see an armadillo or a possum and pop it, then I'll stuff it in the fridge of the spare house just to watch them freak out when they open the fridge.

 

We spent the night at a German bar drinking schnapps and beer. A local running team was hanging out there. Their shtick is they jog a pub crawl according to the markers someone else lays down earlier in the day. These are the same guys that shut down downtown because some idiot thought the chalk/flour mixture they use to mark the path was anthrax. http://www.wptv.com/content/news/ce...ur-anthrax-powder/XlqSr4X6Vk6p0JHUK4Le7Q.cspx


My skull hurts, my wallet is down $100, whatever is brewing in my colon feels like liquid satan. And somehow my friend got into a fight with a one legged man. I have no idea how the fuck that happened, but I'm still trying to process this. The restraint my buddy showed was impressive as this drunk dude with a metal leg wobbling on a stump fell on top of him swinging and screaming "YOU'RE TRYING TO RUIN THIS BAR!" Nobody had any idea what the shit the guy was talking about.

 

Tee Hee.

Apparently one of my neighbors is either unfamiliar with my antics or is just a plain dick.

Talking to the local constable at 8:30 AM while holding a 12 gauge and a beer is not a pleasant experience. Thankfully he's a friend and he just told me there was a complaint and I better hold off my target practice till a little later in the day.

He also let it slip who called in about the shooting. I think he wants me to knock out their night light too. Fuckers putting up security lights in the middle of nowhere, they deserve to be shot out.

I should've put on an eyepatch, had my parrot on my shoulder and told the cop "Arrrrggghhh"

I'm a pirate Goddamn it.

9 in the morning and I'm fucked up. today will be a good day. I just have to deal with a fuck load of relatives coming in to town tomorrow. What would a pirate do? Fuck I really want a cannon.

 

I've been drunk for three solid days now, and today we're going to start tailgating at the chargers game in an hour or so. Thank god for vacation.

 

I hope you jizzed in her hair.