You see for me, this is like being frozen in stasis when the biggest blockbuster of all time came out, and being thawed out on the night the sequel is released. My god. So emotional. Spoiler That's right. I'm letting that go like a dog does a Frisbee. Here be dragons, kids. Didn't we all just open a big ol' can of worms. I sense this could be a VERY lively weekend on here.
You've apparently come to the right place. And Nom is messing me up with his constant avatar changes.
You know, I was thinking that I was going to have to really buckle down to consume all the booze on my shelf but shit, this weekend might do the trick. Rum's almost gone, moving on to the whiskey next. Apple Pucker for chasers. Vodka shots. Who the fuck knows.
Somehow my strategic tonic water reserve has disappeared. Instead, sparkling water, angostura bitters and some lemon wedges are doing double duty as an accompaniment to vodka.
Vodka shots! Vodka shots! Leave the sparkling shit to the vampires or whatever. Put some hair on your chest, boy.
There already is, much to the disdain of the ladies. I'll drink scotch, neat, when the occasion calls for it (which is often, but not right now). Also it's sunny outside for the first time since Napoleon was a corporal, this calls for a weather-appropriate beverage.
What? No. Straight vodka is like eating sugar. It is an ingredient, not a dish. Also, there must be something wrong with the state of Connecticut, because unlike the child in Big Daddy, y'all don't know how to wipe your own asses.
Connecticut was just looking for its nasty niche. Cleveland Steamer was taken, so they opted for the Connecticut Stander.
That's funny because right now I am eating honey on crackers. I figured it was easier than just pouring the bottle into my eating hole. It's easy to eat codka plain though.
I think my mom used an outhouse until she was 14 or some shit. Not particularly hick (Indiana), just poor as fuck. However, they had a 3 seater for all sized bottoms. Luxurious.
My great uncle (white side of the family) was a drunk hillbilly who shot the roof off the outhouse while he was taking a shit, because he thought the shitter needed a skylight.
Unrelated except for the part about guns and outhouses, but I have a distant cousin who moved to a far out place in Alaska. I thought it was under the homestead act but I just looked it up and the last one awarded was in 1988 so that can't be right. ANYWAY. He got trapped in his outhouse all afternoon by a grisly bear. After that, he always brought his shotgun with him on bathroom trips.
I don't have a witty response, but do want to say that I want to eat a bear. Anyone tried it? Gamey? Tough? DELCIOUS?
Are you drunk already? Because I imagine bear being nowhere near delicious for some reason. 2nd question: Would you have sex with Tucker Max? And speaking of bears, one of the most fascinating things I have ever read is how they go all CSI on bears that kill humans and try to decide whether or not they have to kill them or not. And for more bear related reading check out The Wildling by Benjamin Percy.