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Weekend Drunk Thread, 10/12/2012-10/14/2012

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Nom Chompsky, Oct 12, 2012.

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  1. Gravy

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    Emotionally Jaded

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    That's the only orifice he is well endowed enough to reasonably fill.
     
    #101 Gravy, Oct 13, 2012
  2. Dude

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    Disturbed

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    I thought it would be funny, so I did it. The whole thing wasn't about sex at all, it was about doing some funny shit and getting a story out of it.

    Also I have a tiny penis.
     
    #102 Dude, Oct 13, 2012
  3. TX.

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    The Mad Pooper

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    I actually had the thought, "Holy cow! That's a tiny dick." Now if y'all will excuse me I have to prepare for a Halloween party. In the suburbs (yuck). I'm going as myself: an uptight, pretentious bitch who thinks she's above suburbanites.
     
    #103 TX., Oct 13, 2012
  4. hooker

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    I had this really bright idea that I'd get me and my girlfriend tickets to a 49ers game because it would be worth it to make the drive out there to see it, when we're there on vacation next month.

    Ha. Haaaah. Hah.

    Only a Canadian girl from the other side of the continent would think it a possibility. They're sold out. For the entire season. Which I would assume is likely for every NFL team. I'm a real bright light.
     
    #104 hooker, Oct 13, 2012
  5. MoreCowbell

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    Yeah, typically one needs to go through stub hub or something similar. And the prices, if the 49ers are like the Patriots, will make you cry.
     
    #105 MoreCowbell, Oct 13, 2012
  6. wexton

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    Dont know, every try getting tickets for a Vancouver Canucks game? I will pretty much guaranty they will be harder and more expensive to get.
     
    #106 wexton, Oct 13, 2012
  7. MoreCowbell

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    Perhaps. But unless you want absolute nosebleeds, post taxes and stubhub fees, you're shelling out $500 a pair for Patriots tickets. In the nosebleeds, it's still at least $300. And that's months in advance, regular season. It's enough to momentarily make me hate football.
     
    #107 MoreCowbell, Oct 13, 2012
  8. mya

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    I was supposed to go to a college football game today with a couple of girlfriends. Instead it rained so we went out to lunch. Now 3 beer cocktails, 1 "porn star dirty" martini, 3 glasses of champagne, a blue drink with pop rocks on the rim, and a call to my husband for a ride home, I am wondering what in the hell happened.
     
    #108 mya, Oct 13, 2012
  9. Juice

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    Moderately Gender Fluid

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    Homecoming weekend at my alma mater. Went to a college bar called Teds and sit and squirm while my girlfriend has a lively conversation with two ex-girlfriends. There's not enough beer in the world...
     
    #109 Juice, Oct 13, 2012
  10. Gravy

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    Time to switch to whiskey...

     
    #110 Gravy, Oct 13, 2012
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  11. Crown Royal

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    Just call me Topher

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    Ah. "Ye Olde Midnight Stealth". *channelling Billy Dee* Works... every time.

    You sick fucks.
     
    #111 Crown Royal, Oct 13, 2012
  12. Crown Royal

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    Just call me Topher

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    AH... AH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!

    Oh dude, I pity tha fool. You are in such an awkward situation. The best thing to do is just get stone shitfaced, stand up on the table and just yell "WELL YA KNOW WHAT, I'VE BEEN INSIDE ALL THREE OF YA'LL. SO THERE'S THAT." Then sit back in your chair, pop your collar, throw your feet on the table and saulte the new king of spring break.

    Or, maybe they'll all lez out in front of you later. Either way, win-win.
     
    #112 Crown Royal, Oct 13, 2012
  13. Gravy

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    lol wut

     
    #113 Gravy, Oct 13, 2012
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  14. hoju

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    Does anyone know the "new" way to watch UFC PPVs online for free? PM me if you do.

    To add to the conversation and not just troll for advice, I've been going to this local bar for a couple of months now and I can only describe this dump as: Lawless. This place is like Tijuana. Anything goes. Walked in today and there were two dogs (actual dogs not ugly women) wondering around and no bartender to be found. When she did show, she got us some beers then left to get lunch (they don't serve food because they are a private club yet I've never seen, been, or asked for a membership). You could do rails off the bar and no one would give a shit. Also, they are on the honor system for how many beers you've had.
    It is a shithole but also a little slice of heaven.
     
    #114 hoju, Oct 13, 2012
  15. CharlesJohnson

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    Little more information, dude. Where is this and is it actually a private club bar? This sounds like the kind of place I'd hang. Shit, that's the kind of place I'd like to run.

    I think one of the main flaws of American bars is a glaring lack of stray cats chilling out. The hallmark of any respectable establishment is wandering wild life. You know, so long as they don't drop a steamer inside. Even then, better an old cat with a dubious constitution than hipsters.
     
    #115 CharlesJohnson, Oct 13, 2012
  16. Gravy

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    Problem is that a cat bar would attract an insane number of hipsters.
     
    #116 Gravy, Oct 13, 2012
  17. CharlesJohnson

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    Well, if this is my fantasy bar, I also have a shotgun and an open lime pit out back. A wrought iron cage, precariously dangling over the pit, attached by a pulley/wench, with a 6 of PBR inside marked "Free PBR and plastic sunglasses."
     
    #117 CharlesJohnson, Oct 13, 2012
  18. Gravy

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    The disturbing part is that I get the feeling this is your #1 sexual fantasy with PBR added in.
     
    #118 Gravy, Oct 13, 2012
  19. Crown Royal

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    Just call me Topher

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    As much as I love a good James Bond booby trap, you could probably save cash just by stuffing them into a utility closet and setting the doors on fire.

    Honestly, Nicky Minaj could not look more disgusting unless she ran into Leatherface in a dark forest. Her body looks like you paused two cartoon cats fighting inside a burlap bag, I mean what the FUCK could something with a penis possibly see in her?
     
    #119 Crown Royal, Oct 13, 2012
  20. Gravy

    Gravy
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    Emotionally Jaded

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    She still looks 100x better than she sounds.
     
    #120 Gravy, Oct 13, 2012
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