Weekend Drunk Thread, 10/12/2012-10/14/2012

Long distance relationships are hard enough without getting teased on the Internet, Rush.

 

Cabo is an hour and 45 minute flight , San Diego is 5.5 hours driving, huntington beach is 6 hours and the sea of cortez is 4.5 hours.

 

For the last half hour, I have been cracking myself up by playing youtube videos of screaming cats, and watching mine lose their minds. Also, I did laundry. What's that you say? "It's Friday night, Durbanite"? Fuck man, I can't wait til my girl is done with Physics 3, Dynamics, and some other fucking mech eng. class I can't remember

 

Ahem, I still prefer to think of myself as Minnesotan. That being said it would be a mosquito with a shotgun, not a machine gun.

 

Let's be clear. As a native Minnesotan myself, it's a Mosquito the size of a Cessna. It's got a Loon behind it, and it's angry.

 

So. I had a fuckin' wacky ass night and I feel like I might as well share for your entertainment:

I got really drunk at a 50's theme party my buddy threw. And then I had a threesome (i count it, neither of us had actual sex with her though) with one of my friends and this chick who was at the party. Some people might find that kind of thing weird but I think its hilarious, and I took the opportunity to do hilarious (imo) things. These included: smacking her in the face with my penis, putting my penis in her bellybutton, and humming "la cucaracha" the whole time.

Walking back home, my buddy and I discovered our hands were covered in blood, and he had blood all over his face. Thank god I didn't go down on her.

College, amirite.


THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU WEAR A FUCKING WOLF SHIRT

 

Wouldn't it have been more fun to just fuck her?

 

Do you count it as a threesome because you and the other guy waited till she fell asleep to start fucking?

 

So, by "threesome," you mean the other dude fucked her, while you stood there trying to find an opening? "Come ON! Let me have a turn!" You're right, that is hilarious. Although, singing "la cucaracha" instead of humming it would've been funnier.

Imagine how many girls you would have not been able to fuck if you'd worn a Favre jersey instead.

 

I'm dreading this evening. I agreed to it thinking it wouldn't all come together so easily, but of course, it did. I am taking my 13-year-old daughter and three of her friends to Dorney Park Fright Night. It's bad enough I'll be listening to their high-pitched screams x 4, but it's our first possible frost warning. It is going to be COLD. Do you think it's appropriate if I went like this?

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Because I think I'm gonna. I hate being cold and my husband won't let me warm my feet on him anymore. Seriously, are all you guys furnaces?

 

Damn, you guys are jackals.

 

Your 50s theme party sounds even worse than your threesome.

Edit: are you also saying that she was your sister? Because THAT'S what happens when you wear a wolf shirt.

 

They smelled blood.

 

Back home finally, week on the beach was nice but I said fuck it an drove through the night to get back. Looking forward to a few days of football and catching up on some tv. I still can't get used to this damn wedding ring.

Fuck you people been up to???

 

Might as well have rode the red dragon and called it a night.

 

Given the scene as described this doesn't seem like a girl inclined to say "No" very often. Might as well have gone for it rather than stick his dick in her bellybutton.

Also, Dude, what's up with the bellybuttton thing?

 

Maybe he was trying to get innie her outie.

 

Keeping up with the theme, sort of, while I try to fix this hangover with a mass amount of baconz.

Spoiler