As some of you know, I have taken a short hiatus from drinking that I started at the beginning of the New Year (Jan. 4th to be precise). Maybe its because my head is finally starting to clear itself of some of the drunken fog, but regardless of reason- I have had an epiphany. The Saints last lost on January 3rd when I was drunk off my ass. I stopped drinking the next day, and the Saints have yet to lose. I know what yall are thinking, and yes, it is true- I am singlehandedly responsible for the Saints making it to the Super Bowl. Chater, you can thank me later. But if I have learned anything from watching "Angels in the Outfield", it's that championship games are won on their own without any outside help from drunk people who see angels. I've done my part in getting them there, but now it is up to Drew Brees and Tony Danza to see them the rest of the way to glory. So with that being said, I am planning on drinking tonight for the first time in 4 weeks. I'm also going to top it off with a big fat 2 inch thick medium rare steak. It is going to be glorious. I'm sure that a few of you heathens are getting an early start on it today for whatever reason, so lets get the party started.
I'm going out to dinner with a prof and a buddy and the prof's wife tonight. Charity auction thing. Rumour is that last year the prof's wife got absolutely wasted. The prof is also a riot - by far the best lecturer I've had, but he's the only guy who will use explicit cartoons to demonstrate the fecal-oral route of infection. I'm looking forward to it. Further revelations: Me and the ball and chain bought some sex toys for obvious purposes. They got mailed to my apartment last night, and she's been sleeping for the last 18 hours, so they have not yet been used. There is currently an 8" clear silicone rubber penis sitting on my night stand and it's kind of creeping me out. And sitting next to it is a butt plug (also for her) that's about the size of my pinky. They make an odd couple.
It's weekly threads such as this that make me realize most of you are alcoholics...except the guy that said he's allergic to alcohol. If I had a buddy like that, I'd save a lot on cab fare. Currently, I am all jittery from two coffees and an adderall. I've pumped out 1.5 case studies which are due next week, and began studying for midterms. I am so happy that I have 3 sessions of midterms and finals left until I can afford grad school (or find an employer that will comp those costs). I'll be getting all sorts of fucked up and letting y'all know about it on some random drunk thread this August. As for today, I work til 3 and then I'm going out with some old friends to a dive bar and discussing random shit. Then, playing n64 super smash brothers, instead of drinking in front of my computer as some of you have made into a weekly habit...drunks. No offense, of course.
Drinking has already commenced today, with copious amounts of Bailey's in coffee. We did a whack of technical testing this week, and it's come back with most excellent results. We all get to keep our jobs and they'll be increasing our funding as it has now been demonstrated that we know what the fuck we're doing, and it looks like we very well may be extremely successful. As a result, yesterday I was provided with a contract extension, a raise, and a fairly healthy bonus. They're also throwing us a huge bash all day with catered food and booze and cab fare to the bars downtown later. Tomorrow will be ugly, but oh so worth it.
Pregnant friends are also fantastic to have around on a night out. Buy them a nice slice of chocolate cake and they are willing to cart you around and laugh at your drunken shenanigans, but in a "been there, done that" sort of way.
Boooooooo. I can't start drinking yet. Have to watch my nephews until 5. But then it will be time to crack open a bottle of whisky and let the liquor do the thinking. Plus I'm going to a bar tonight that I haven't been to yet. Should be fun. There's going to be a band there called Ho Five Seoul. I hope they sing in Korean.
Unfortunately this weekend will be my last weekend out for a good month. Flight school means pulling at least 8 hour study days on the weekends and nonstop studying during the week. Good thing I'm going out with a bang...bar night tonight with the guys, Guido night on Saturday, and a friends birthday party on Sunday. Better make it a good weekend...
Just got turned down for a job I was sure I bagged. Going to drown my sorrows in a greasy burger and then head to the Beer Store. Hopefully by Monday I'll be coherent enough to start submitting resumes.
I'm drinking to make sure I don't start feeling like hell from last night. Peppermint hot chocolate to be exact. Why did I think that 4 rum and cokes, a long island, 4 beers and then a 3 wisemen was a good idea? Fuck my judgment.
Waiting for my buddy to come over so we can start in on my growler of Mill Street IPA before dinner. Gonna be a fun night. Also: the sex toy store sent me a card for a half hour of free streaming porn from their website. This is so quaint.
Dinner reservations at 9:15 tonight so I may or may not pregame before dinner. I got about 3oz of Macallan 12 left, and a couple of beers.
WHO'S PMSING? I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU SAID THAT! WHAT ABOUT WHAT I FEEL! YOU ARE ACTING JUST LIKE YOUR FATHER! I HAVE A HEADACHE! FUCK YOU! I LOVE YOU! DON'T TOUCH ME! WHY WON'T YOU HUG ME? IS IT BECAUSE IM FAT? I FEEL FAT! FUCK YOU IM NOT FAT! GO AWAY! WHY WON'T YOU SPEND TIME WITH ME? I WANT ICE CREAM!