My roommate's friend brought her infant over to our apartment to show him off yesterday. As the roommate was bouncing him on her knee, the little midget decides that it's the perfect time to take a great big shit all over the front of her dress, diaper be damned. The look on her face was hysterical. The smell was not. But it did make me realize that babies are the only people who can literally crap on other person and still be as, if not more adorable than they were before. Even old people don't enjoy that kind of liberty. Babies are awesome. Focus: Funny baby stories. It's Friday, I'm hot and I'm still unemfuckingployed, so don't get too weird or serious with it. Go.